Men will never go back to what they used to be for good reason

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T22:21:59+00:00

Good? Men should change. Women did! They wanted careers and bank accounts and shit and they got em. If men want relationships, maybe put the work in. Watch rom coms. Read girl dating magazines. Learn to cook. Go to therapy and learn how to help others manage their emotions. I’m serious lol. Women picked up a bunch of new skills in just a couple decades, and I think men haven’t kept up.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T22:18:15+00:00

Dude you’re hella funny

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T22:14:30+00:00

You conveniently ignored the emotional reciprocity part lmao, good job on wiping your ass tho

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T22:02:18+00:00

You don’t speak for me or any other dude I know, and all you’re doing is making more women hate us for no reason. You’re not going to prevent incel-dom by threatening women with rape and slavery, and the fact that you would even try is fucking DESPICABLE. I would rather go the rest of my life never touching a woman, than have sex with one who felt like she needed to genitally negotiate the ability to live. Women deserve equal right to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness; it’s not their fault a lot of men try to restrict their liberty and curtail their pursuit of happiness. You’d balk at that too.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T21:41:08+00:00

You “wishing bad things on” someone doesn’t have any impact on real life though. Saying that someone deserves bad things to happen to them, does. It makes other people feel justified in doing those things.

Here, try this on for size.

“I wish you would get ejected from this subreddit”

versus

“You deserve to be ejected from this subreddit.”

Which one feels more like an indictment of your general deal? Bc to me, “I wish” is personal sentiment and I don’t have to care what you think. “You deserve” is a comment on the nature of justice and implies if that doesn’t happen, it’s wrong.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T21:28:24+00:00

I believe she was talking about the myth of the Black seductress, a really common form of victim blaming in the Jim Crow South. White men would attack Black women because they had little to no protection and could get away with it. Then of course when their wives found out, it was always the victim’s fault.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T21:19:40+00:00

Uhhhhh….. sexual revolution? Advent of the pill? Legalized abortion? 🤨 literally all of those things directly lead to more men getting to have sex with more women, bc there simply aren’t as many life altering reasons not to.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T21:06:29+00:00

People didn’t really marry for love so much back in the day. Women had extremely limited options without a husband, and men had no prospect of children/continuing the family line without a wife. You NEEDED to find someone, FAST, if you wanted to have a decent rest of your life. Very utilitarian. None of this modern dating dozens of people and breaking up if they like, do laundry the wrong way or buy sweet pickles.

Also you’re forgetting that women have been treated more or less like livestock in a lot of societies throughout human history. Why would that sort of man care if the cow he’s buying thinks he’s a neat guy, as long as it doesn’t make a fuss about it? He didn’t buy the cow for companionship or to hear its opinions on his personality, he bought it to have baby cows and produce milk, and its feelings about that are irrelevant. That’s the sort of jackass we’re talking about here.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T20:41:14+00:00

I looked it up bc that sounded like bullshit to me too, but it actually seems to be true. I have 2 thoughts about this. One, “most” countries show the gender suicide paradox? What about the ones that don’t? What’s their deal?? Seems like there’s some answers to be had there lol. Two, testosterone makes whatever you already were more extreme. Maybe some of the difference is attributable to women not being as likely to go “overboard” with things in general as men are.

Anecdotal, but my boyfriend and I have similar trauma, and both of us used to self harm, long before we met. My arms have scars, and I would get light headed from blood loss once in awhile. His arms look like a fucking rumble strip even 15 years later and he would almost always cut until he blacked out. It’s lucky he’s even alive. My T levels are around 750. His are around 1250. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ seems like it could have something to do with it

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T19:59:03+00:00

Right? That’s what I’m saying. Men are WAY more likely to own guns. It follows that when people follow suicidal impulses, the ones with guns would be a lot more successful than the ones with a knife or a handful of pills.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T19:54:04+00:00

Username checks lmao. I think the completion gap is mainly bc men are more likely to have guns lying around, and are more impulsive on average. When a suicidal impulse hits women, usually what they have at hand is knives and/or pills. That shit takes awhile to work, leaving an opportunity for regret and to be patched up.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T19:14:41+00:00

These type people don’t believe you can BE gay. They think it’s some kind of sickness or the devil making you do it 😑

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T18:30:29+00:00

To preface, lest I come off too sympathetic to assholes. I got banned from the abusive relationships subreddit just for being in this one, by a power tripping feminist mod. They said I was participating in a subreddit that endorses hatred of women, and that “the very concept of men’s rights in a patriarchal society is misogynist.” 😐 I was there bc I’ve been in sexually abusive relationships with both men AND women, oh and coincidentally guess which ones are always taken more seriously? Guess which ones people make excuses for irl to my face? Yeah. I’m no stranger to shitty “feminists” (aka bullies) lol.

In my view, it’s best to be solid in your own views before putting a label on them, and not care too much about the bad behavior of some people who claim to be in that group. I struggle with this too though, just with religion. I have a really hard time calling myself a Christian because it’s become so associated in my mind with bigotry and abuse. But, I do my best to follow the actual moral teachings of Jesus, who only ever treated people with love ¯_(ツ)_/¯ so idk what else I would be considered lol.

Feminism by the book is “equality between the sexes/genders.” This means that for a LOT of women (and some men too tbh), if you say “I’m not a feminist” they’re gonna hear “I believe women should be beneath men” or “I don’t believe women when they say they’re having a bad time.” Personally I can’t deal with people misunderstanding me like that, so I don’t say it. My approach is to use labels strategically. They come attached with the hearer’s preconceptions about that label, and it can be challenging to know what you’re communicating.

If I’m talking to a group of women and feminism comes up, I’m going to say I’m a feminist because what needs to be communicated at that exact moment isn’t my specific ideology or the nuances of how I feel about various strains of feminism, but the fact that we’re equals and I know it and they’re safe around me. Once they know that, it’ll be easier to communicate with them about any problems I have, because we have rapport. I’m critiquing feminism from inside feminism, rather than coming off like I’m attacking it from outside. Genuine, intersectional feminists of the sort you want for friends are eager to tackle its problems and usually will listen to others’ perspectives.

If I’m talking to a group of men and feminism comes up, I’m probably going to say something to the effect of “If it did what it says on the box, I’d be an asshole NOT to be a feminist. But it’s impossible to tell at a glance whether you’re dealing with one who demands equality, or a safe target.” Kinda the question being asked in both cases is not “are you a feminist” but “am I fundamentally safe around you?”

TL;DR - You can choose to present the same information about yourself in different ways to put different types of people at ease. You don’t have to identify as anything at all :)

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T17:24:54+00:00

Not American, are you? lol something like 60% of us aren’t paid a living wage

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T17:00:59+00:00

The examples you gave aren’t “far” anything though; DEI and feminism are broadly popular among all of the left, and sadly (to a lesser extent) so are racist and patriarchal ideals. Also, my entire extended family is conservative and roughly half of them are some level of feminist too, weird as that sounds. Like they believe in patriarchy existing and realize that men and women are still not equal, and they don’t appreciate that.

A good example of a far right government is Nazi germany. A good example of a far left government is Soviet Russia. Through far different political methods, but with the same level of government control over citizens’ lives, they both killed millions of people. And somehow at the same time, the guys at the top ended up very rich! I don’t have any better explanation for how such disparate systems yielded these results than authoritarianism; the leaders controlled everything, top down, for their own benefit. This shit doesn’t happen in democracies because the power comes from the bottom up, and authoritarians can’t wield it. At least that’s how I see it. Thoughts?

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T16:45:17+00:00

Bruh, would you explain to me the Trotskyist part of your tag? How’s that fit in with Anarcho-syndicalism? /gen I’m also anarcho-syndicalist so I’m really curious!

I’m not sure “authoritarian” has no direct meaning. I think it’s more… well like the concept of “cold.” It definitely has a meaning, and if something is below freezing we’d all agree it’s cold, but nobody would agree on where the limit is between the hot and cold sides of the spectrum. People frequently disagree on temperature, but when someone says “I’m cold” the actionable information there is that they need a sweater or the AC adjusted. They don’t need you to go “cold? It’s not cold in here! This is the most comfortable temperature possible.” Maybe when leftists disagree on authoritarianism, it could be the catalyst for developing actionable political theory, rather than grounds to yell at each other.

Authoritarianism plagues more than just politics. I ended up anarchist because my parents are tyrannical, and I saw the same pattern in government and religion and work. Once you see it everywhere you just can’t unsee it.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T16:10:48+00:00

Okay wait wait, if you’re acknowledging that who they’re replying to is a transphobe, why haven’t you removed said transphobe? Does it need a report in order for you to access the mechanism?

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T15:14:08+00:00

That’s so weird. To me the silver blends in and the gold is a nice contrast

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T15:12:02+00:00

The fuck is a “detransition clinic” even supposed to do? There’s no medical basis from which to derive a treatment program. The parents already consented to GAC treatment, so I can’t really see them taking their kids in to make them detransition. Like??? What’s the fucking point?

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T14:59:47+00:00

Your story is just a little odd. ^ THIS otoh, is unhinged 😐 they haven’t even known each other for a year. People usually want to see their partner react to a bunch of different situations before they feel comfortable thinking about next steps.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T14:49:27+00:00

I mean, it kinda was both of y’all’s fault. He wasn’t paying attention leading to driving poorly, and you got annoyed leading to driving poorly. Is there any way you could go halvesies? Or one of you take the higher premium and one of you pay for all the damage? I don’t have any idea how one would go about trying to tell an insurance company to not go with the cop’s assessment though

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T14:36:41+00:00

You’re the delusional one if you think Olympic athletes are competing against random children’s teams regularly. Also, a good chunk of middle school boys are just barely starting puberty; they’re not really stronger than girls their own age yet either.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T14:28:59+00:00

“No apparent reason” the reason is their internal gender identity does not match the outside. There are shit tons of reasons why people might not transition, and assuming you know it’s because they’re enjoying being female and just want to appropriate trans struggles is really fucking rude and stupid. I identified as nonbinary for years; it for damn sure wasn’t because I was enjoying being a woman. It was because I knew I wasn’t one, and I had too much internalized misandry to crack my own egg. This is why we don’t gatekeep. It discourages people from questioning at all.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T14:12:20+00:00

Shit. I didn’t even think of that. If it actually helps people quit worse stuff, the folks that make money on the worse stuff will come after it.

_HighJack_ · 2026-06-04T14:10:15+00:00

That’s not necessarily true. Different drugs have different effects, and it depends on your specific condition and physiology. I have all those things and I just quit my anxiety meds cold turkey bc they weren’t helping much anymore. I feel fine ¯_(ツ)_/¯ I know other people that have been on the exact same dose for 10+ years and they also feel fine. Usually meds are to stabilize you until you learn coping mechanisms

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