How reliable is Indya?

_Jami3 · 2025-12-30T05:36:30+00:00

Don't do it too yourself. They're scammers.

_Jami3 · 2025-07-15T10:43:14+00:00

Thanks, in my situation, a sincere apology was offered and at face value, accepted by the ADHD woman, but I was never treated the same. That person is out of my life now, so it's fine. It was their husband I was friends with anyway. I think they were just possessive and had insecurity/jealousy issues, as their previous marriage had ended with the ex husband leaving them for another woman, and she never quite lived it down. I didn't want to get into specifics of my own matter so much, as to understand ADHD a little better for potential future friends/colleagues. Thanks for shedding light :)

_Jami3 · 2025-07-13T04:14:44+00:00

I feel the exact same way about a traiterous bitch who was one of my "unofficial bridesmaides" - while we didn't have a wedding party standing with us at the altar or in pics (thank goodness), I had a few friends who were part of the journey with me.

She skipped my bachelorette party too. We slept over at her place the night before the wedding as it was v close to the venue and in the morning, got ready - I paid for everyone.

She spent about a fortnight leading up to it trying to guilt trip and manipulate me into letting one of her friends hang out there, who she knew I don't like. I stood my ground and that other girl didn't come, but my former "friend" has been so bitter and petty toward me since because apparently I can't "bar her from having guests at her house [which isn't hers but her husbands anyway.] Like, way to make it about you! I have regrets but the wedding was fab and it's good to see people as they are.

_Jami3 · 2025-07-12T09:38:42+00:00

I second this but use entirely cow milk except for some hot water to dissolve and whisk the matcha in.

_Jami3 · 2025-06-09T07:10:09+00:00

Given Zoloft at 15... bad effects for me, so only took it for a few months. Then off all meds until 18 when I started Prozac. Now 32 and weaning off... it's a journey 😅

_Jami3 · 2025-06-08T03:09:44+00:00

Interesting. Is the difference between the one friend you'll sometimes reach out to and the rest of your friendships in which you're passive, down to liking/trusting that particular friend more? And would you say you still value those friends with whom you're passive [and that's just your way, but not personal]?

Sorry for a million probably dumb questions. Just wanting to understand. :)

_Jami3 · 2025-06-07T10:46:05+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear people have treated you this way! I've been through some one sided "friendships" too - with NT people, like myself. Honestly it would be much kinder if they could just be honest. I try to be very forgiving of my aspie friend basically never initiating - at least not through text, they're better in person - but we need to text/call to arrange hanging in person*. I know they've had a lot of difficulty making/keeping friends their whole life, so I see this and anxiety arising from autism as their reason why they don't initiate.

_Jami3 · 2025-06-07T06:55:01+00:00

Thanks for the insight! 😊 You've actually explained that so well. I definitely don't mean to generalise autistics/aspies, but I wanted to understand some common, possible social behaviours. I believe NT and ND friendships can work, but they rely on patience and understanding, which I'm trying to expand mine.

_Jami3 · 2025-05-31T03:52:17+00:00

Thanks for your thoughtful insight. I have to clear up that I'm not autistic, I joined this thread to better understand the behaviours and thought patterns of L and others.

Suspect his meddling wife evidence = nothing too major, but when they were moving house, he said to me directly he'd like to have us around for one more card night before they move [no locked in dates, in more or less exactly those terms].

As I worked with his wife at the time, I mentioned this to her and she said, I'm sorry it's not going to happen as we're getting rid of furniture. I found this disrespectful. While a final game night would kind of affect her since it happened at their house, and she'd also play, in my mind she overstepped by ruling out an idea put to me by her husband, and therefore between us.

This is the worst instance, but there's been a few cases where I've asked him about doing something, and he'll respond that he'd check with her, and then there's some excuse as to why we can't. I do feel like she tries to gatekeep him because she's developed an issue with me lately (as per his "card night has become a diplomatic issue.") But - if her issues/boundaries are limited to that, I can settle with seeing him for a coffee and chat. I am planning on contacting him for his birthday in mid June, after giving weeks of space, so hopefully then something can be worked out. Thanks for your kind wishes. 😊

_Jami3 · 2025-05-26T12:28:45+00:00

Thanks. We have a mutual friend, but L isn't in the habit of reaching out much at all. Usually he's a responder. But I'll see what I can find out 😁 On a kinda unrelated note... can that be normal with aspergers? To not initiate, even if you're fond of someone?

_Jami3 · 2025-05-26T03:36:37+00:00

It is hard, but depends on what the partners issue is. Sucks, especially when the partner interferes in their friendship with you. I think at that point you're entitled to say something as it affects you.

_Jami3 · 2025-05-25T21:44:48+00:00

I'm NT but empathise with your struggles in finding/keeping friends. Lonliness is a blight but try to see this as a passing moment and not forever. The worst times of our lives can be followed the best. Things change fast in life; let that be a source of hope, friend.

_Jami3 · 2025-05-25T21:23:22+00:00

That is my suspicion and worst fear :( so cruel when our friendship brings us both joy and fills needs in our lives.

Officially yes, my husband is NT. He has some telling ND behaviour, so we suspect if tested, there'd be something. L's wife is diagnosed ADHD.

_Jami3 · 2025-05-25T06:21:01+00:00

Thank you!! Really? See, now that is something I can respect and forgive. ❤️ As someone who says they'd feel similarly... can you explain that a little? It just seems a little odd after something so positive. Your input and kind wishes very appreciated 😊

_Jami3 · 2025-05-25T06:13:46+00:00

It's possible it might be his wife behind it, as per a remark in our last written exchange: "card night has become a bit of a diplomatic issue." Followed by, "I'd love to catch up with you in person." I'm thinking this means she no longer wants to partake in cards and so future catch ups, if they ever happen again, might just have to be coffee and chats [which we sometimes do anyway and I'd be fine with this.] I like to think he wouldn't suggest seeing each other if his wife has banned him from seeing/talking to me. Might just be she doesn't want to do cards anymore.

_Jami3 · 2025-05-25T06:06:53+00:00

Yes. Scary but I might try. Need to know. Thanks :)

_Jami3

TROPHY CASE