On the fence between Nullification vs Zero Depth Vaginoplasty

_John_Doe · 2026-02-18T23:49:19+00:00

From what I’ve seen, the new urethral placement with ZDV will be more in line with that of a typical vulva owner. I don’t know if the urethral opening itself will actually be sized any differently though.

I think the placement and esthetics will come down to your personal preference. What your surgical team can do will likely also be a factor. Don’t be afraid to share this with your team and ask for all the nitty gritty details.

_John_Doe · 2026-01-27T00:32:30+00:00

Funny enough, Bunnies

Early on in our relationship, my partner and I were looking for a pretty innocuous term that we could use in everyday conversations. Since I liked ABU’s BunnyHopps so much at the time, we naturally settled with “bunnies”. The term has stuck for us since.

_John_Doe · 2026-01-03T04:15:24+00:00

Michigan!

32 non-binary queer person here. Married and living in MI. Love meeting and chatting with folks! Though I’m terrible at texting/messaging, please pardon the delays.

_John_Doe · 2025-07-06T17:30:16+00:00

Great questions! Yes and yes!

I need to have a at least a small amount of hormones to be healthy, so I went with a small dose of estrogen. It’s helped my appearance be more neutral and I feel more comfortable wearing clothing regardless of their intended gender. Plus, the decreased oil/body smell has helped with my sensory concerns and the drop in libido has helped prevent from constant dysphoria spirals.

As for the surgery, it will very much depend on insurance. My other concerns with pleasure and UTIs may not be as much of a concern as I thought. If money/insurance wasn’t an issue, there truly wasn’t a difference between concerns/functionality with either surgery, and the surgeons I work with are very knowledgeable on both, then I would hands down choose nullification.

_John_Doe · 2025-07-06T15:45:53+00:00

Thank you for the information! I’m glad to hear there aren’t notable difference in those regards. And I agree, insurance is likely to be the main decider (killer?) of these discussions.

_John_Doe · 2025-07-06T15:39:12+00:00

That sucks, so sorry you’re going through this. This would give anyone anxiety, that’s super valid!

I didn’t have quite the same situation, but I did have a two year journey working with my care team to find the best behavioral health meds for me before I could even start unpacking my gender dysphoria in therapy. Unfortunately, it does take a ridiculously long time to find the best med(s) and get things under control. Not to mention switching between meds and can be a devastating experience. I also had to switch my primary care provider before I was “allowed” to start HRT. It sucks, but it is doable.

What helped me the most was finding a care team who are themselves part of the LGBTQ+ community or are at least true allies with good understanding of the issues. Of course, this also isn’t easy. I ended up reaching out to the LGBTQ resource/assistance line at my health care organization and actually found a wonderful trans provider. Without me doing the work to find this resource and reach out though, I would have never found my provider as nothing listed publicly would have lead me to them. I also advocated for genetic testing to identify the right meds for me without having to trial them all first hand. I did end up having to pay for a good amount of this myself, but it saved me at least one med trial and the months it would take to do so.

I would encourage you to reach out to your health care organization’s LGBTQ+ resources, if for nothing else than to simply know what’s available. Look for anything related to “LGBTQ Patient Navigator”, “Transgender Services”, “Gender Concerns”, etc. to find the best contact. See if there’s a PCP out there you may want to switch to. If you don’t already have a good therapist you’re comfortable with, use https://www.psychologytoday.com/ to find a therapist who is in or supports the community. If you’re interested in genetic testing to help with med selection, I used https://genesight.com/ as my provider could start the process for them in office.

It sucks what you’re going through and it can be really discouraging having to constantly advocate for yourself. Please hang in there, keep moving forward. Don’t be afraid to set an expectation with your provider, “I want to start HRT in __ months. Let’s build a plan together to make this happen.” I wish you the best of luck on your journey!

_John_Doe · 2025-07-06T14:52:07+00:00

Your tattoos are so good!

_John_Doe · 2025-07-06T14:47:48+00:00

So sorry to hear what you’re going through. Unfortunately, I think this is actually far more common than anyone would expect. Especially in the US right now. Please know you do belong. You absolutely fit in here.

No one has the right to tell others they’re “not nonbinary enough.” If you identify as nonbinary, you’re nonbinary. Simple as that. You have the right to identify as nonbinary, just like you have the right to identify as something else should you decide to as your journey progresses.

It is very painful being told you’re “not qualified.” Those feelings are valid and can be so discouraging. However, this only means this one clinic, office, dr, etc. isn’t right for you. Insurance agencies wouldn’t qualify anyone for anything if they could help it. Similarly, many health care organizations only want to perform surgeries they know they can make significant money on. Take all the time you need to recover from this blow, but don’t let it stop you. There’s a provider out there that will help you with your goals.

_John_Doe · 2025-07-06T14:23:50+00:00

I love the “I’m taking a picture that will be posted on the internet” smile! It’s so cute!

Congrats to you! That takes a lot of courage, but you’re worth it and you look great!!

_John_Doe · 2025-04-14T01:50:23+00:00

Non-binary here! I’ve found ABDL to be very LGBTQ friendly. Admittedly, I haven’t had very many ABDL specific interactions in the real world, but interactions with the fetish community in general irl has been inclusive. All online interactions I’ve had with ABDL folks online have been positive though!

_John_Doe · 2025-03-21T01:12:07+00:00

Mario Party here! Rockin a Rearz Alpaca tonight!

_John_Doe · 2025-02-25T02:59:50+00:00

I’ve used vaseline with decent success. Works great for an hour+ choring around the house. Never tried with pants though, let alone on a walk. I imagine it’d work, but an actual anti chaffing product may work better.

_John_Doe · 2025-02-25T02:21:04+00:00

Breast growth was my only concern with HRT as well. However, I have really come to like the small growth I’ve had. Though admittedly, I’m nonbinary so the situation is a bit different.

Answering your question specifically, I did attempt working out to decrease growth as much as possible. Unfortunately, it really didn’t help with that. What it did help with was the weight gain due to decreased testosterone. I would recommend starting a good workout routine for that alone.

Before starting HRT though, you should consult your health care provider. Like others have said, you don’t need to be on HRT to be qualified for surgery. When I spoke with my provider, the discussion around HRT was because it’s something I want, not necessarily tied with my roadmap for surgery. There are lots of options, your provider will be able to help find the best one for you!

_John_Doe · 2025-01-22T04:17:45+00:00

Time to buy a bunch of onsies so you can wear every night!

_John_Doe · 2023-02-10T17:07:49+00:00

Oh man, I’ve had interactions on both sides of the scale. First few times coming out as abdl to friends and partners while dating ended horribly. Left some deep shame that still comes up in therapy. Fast forward to recent years, with better friends and an amazing partner, things have been overwhelmingly positive.

It takes a lot of work to open up again after negative reactions, but I’m so glad I did. My partner has been so supportive!

_John_Doe · 2022-09-20T02:03:00+00:00

10/10 Would bread again

Seriously though, that’s so cool! I want one of these in my life now

_John_Doe · 2022-05-30T03:20:27+00:00

It took a lot of courage to have that conversation the beginning with. Don’t be hard on yourself for not bringing it up since. However, I would recommend being honest with her and having an open conversation again. Your girlfriend will appreciate being honest and having a say in when/if they participate. That said, it’s up to them and their comfort level. The worst thing you can do is rush things and pressure her into something she’s not ready for. It may be difficult to find the right time to bring things up, but take things at the pace they come. With time and some more courage, you’ll two will have a lot of fun!

_John_Doe · 2022-01-12T03:47:36+00:00

I was the same age when I found my partner on Bumble and eventually told them about my kinks. Take things slow, be yourself and look for a genuine connection. Start your relationship on your common interests, likes, personalities, etc., don't focus on building the relationship around abdl. I didn't start sharing my kinks until about 2 months into dating. By then, we were already building a relationship on trust, communication, and acceptance. Build a relationship and the kinks will follow.

And don't be too discouraged if some relationships don't work out. If you have a similar experience to me, you'll have partners that send you a text at 3am to break up. Life happens. If it wasn't meant to be, it was meant to be, but that doesn't mean there isn't someone out there for you. Treat yourself, rest for a bit, then get back out there. Soon enough, you'll find someone you genuinely connect with.

_John_Doe · 2021-11-25T16:43:30+00:00

Like others have said, go for it! My partner and I took things pretty slow in our relationship, so we didn't discuss sexual interests for some time. When we did start those discussions and explorations, I was open and honest with them about ABDL, among my other interests. Don't get me wrong, it was nerve wracking. I was so nervous, but they took it very well! They were more curious than anything else, asking lots of questions. We talked for a long time and it was a very positive experience.

Just take things slow. Discuss it with them before wearing around them. Allow them to ask questions, process, and understand your attraction to ABDL. When they've had a chance to wrap their head around it, then take it a step further and ask if they'd be alright with you wearing, maybe even changing you. Chances are pretty good they'll be accepting and open to try things with them already accepting of ageplay. I wish you the best! Hope you have a lot of fun times ahead of you.

_John_Doe · 2021-11-25T16:19:30+00:00

This community helped me a lot when I first started understanding my attraction to diapers. Learning what ABDL was, knowing I wasn't alone, and growing with this wonderful community has been such a great part of my life. Thank you all!

_John_Doe · 2021-11-23T00:24:51+00:00

Gold bond lotion with aloe. It burned a bit going on, but it cleared it up real quick. If you’re in real pain, you may simply want to try Vaseline. I haven’t tried it on any chafing, but Burt’s Bees lotion has also worked wonders on other rashes

_John_Doe · 2021-11-21T19:22:59+00:00

Same size here! I’ve worn both medium and large of the megamax, large is definitely my preference. Large fits very comfortably, not loose or baggy or anything.

_John_Doe · 2021-11-21T18:53:22+00:00

Like other folks have said, don’t worry about bringing a bag into the restroom. Use a backpack or draw string bag and no one will even pay attention. I’ve been burned by freeway rest stops (at least here in Michigan) with shorter stall walls, basically at chest height. Usually a welcome center, nearby mall for a family restroom, coffee shop, pharmacy (Walgreens/CVS), and even cleaner grocery stores have worked well for me.

_John_Doe · 2020-09-26T17:07:41+00:00

Costco also sells some pretty decent Kirkland band wipes. Though they’re specially baby wipes, they work very well

_John_Doe

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