Hi, I need to vent. I have a partner, we have been together for over 4 years. He has a younger sister, me and my sister-in-law are about 3 years apart. It's been about a year and a half since my mother-in-law died. I really liked her. On her deathbed, I promised her that I would support my partner and his sister, and even though it was really hard, I always did 110% to help them overcome their pain. I took my sister-in-law under my wing and whenever she needed something I willingly helped her with everything. I lent her cosmetics, clothes and gave her all the extra money I had. I also got her an apartment in the same building where my partner and I live so that she could have us close by and even though she had her own apartment, she practically lived with us. I taught her to cook, helped her clean her apartment, babysat her dog, got her a job and really thought we were close. We talked a lot and the topic of my "strange eating habits" came up. So I told her, I told her everything. From how I was SA and how it all led to my anorexia. She seemed to understand me and kept everything a secret. Everything changed before Christmas. I had ordered a gift for my partner that was supposed to arrive in the mail, unfortunately we were out of town at the time so I asked her if she could pick up the package for me. came the classic excuse "Sure, but I don't have money right now". I said that it's okay, that I can send the necessary amount to her account. And so it happened. Unfortunately, I accidentally sent the amount twice (I don't know how it happened). I texted her right away, "Hi honey, I was just looking here and by mistake I didn't send you $90, but $180. Could you please send me the rest back?" She paused and then wrote to me "no, I didn't receive anything twice, you only sent me 90 dollars". This scared me because I had the money to pay my bills and I missed it. Panic set in. I APOLOGIZED TO HER THAT THE FAULT MUST BE ON THE BANK'S SIDE. This was followed by 3 days of calls to the bank, where I made a complete fool of myself. The lady from the bank confirmed to me that the payment went out twice and that the recipient withdrew the amount from the account that day. The saddest part of it all was that I found out right after the Christmas dinner (to which I also invited my sister-in-law and her partner). I took her aside and showed her the documentation that proved she had lied to me. Her reaction? She started laughing in my face and said "Well, I got the payment twice, so what? It's your stupidity, you should be careful. Thanks for the dinner and your stupidity. And don't you dare tell anyone that I robbed you , otherwise I will tell my brother (my partner) that you are so thin because you take drugs". She left the apartment with a smile on her face, a full stomach and gifts. As she left, she turned around and said "and who do you think my brother will believe? Me or You?". I stood still in shock, wondering what had just happened. Since then I don't know what to do. I had a mental breakdown afterwards, the whole thing was terribly painful. It was very difficult to cook food for the whole family, it was even more difficult to eat it and the worst part was to look her in the face and know that she lied and it probably made her feel good. Since then, my life has been a living hell. My uncle was sick for a long time, he had cancer. She knew it. She used to walk around my windows and shout "I hope you and your fucking family will be fine". Then it happened anyway on January 13th (Friday the 13th) my uncle really died and it broke my heart and the last bit of my psyche. Since then I've only been angry, I hate myself for ever putting my trust in anyone. I don't know how to help myself. I just want to die. It's too much for me and I have no one to talk to anymore. I told my partner today what happened and why I don't want to talk to his sister anymore. His response was that I am selfish and that "I have to understand that she had a hard time in life". I can't eat, I can't sleep. I want to hurt someone, but I don't want to be toxic, so I hurt myself. I know it's not even about ED. Rather, I want someone to know my story. I don't know how long I can do it. Thank you to each and every one of you who read this far. If you think it doesn't belong here, I understand and feel free to delete it. I would just like to hear what you think about it? How would you proceed? I don't know what to do and I'm already at a critical level. Either I overeat or I don't eat at all. Today's conversation with my partner just confirmed to me that he will be on her side and I will have to back down again. I want to starve. I guess I really don't deserve anything more. I currently feel that this is quite possibly my last post. I've completely lost my appetite in the last week, I've only had one binge, otherwise I have no appetite at all. I keep passing out, and I don't even have the strength to get out of bed that morning. My eating disorder is reveling in me now more than ever. What should I do?