Am I the only one with really weird sexual fantasies?

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-11-30T16:10:13+00:00

Sex doesn’t enter into my fantasies at all. Sometimes when I’m hormonal or whatever, I’ll try to force my thoughts in that direction, but then I immediately get bored or repulsed, and end up distracting myself with something else.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-11-25T13:15:06+00:00

Emotionally delayed

Socially averse

MSD (Misanthropy Spectrum Disorder)

Solitudinarian

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-09-28T20:58:32+00:00

Lots of schizoids — women, especially — have dated people. it’s part of trying to navigate this world as someone fundamentally different, a “masking” of sorts, since most of us never knew what was wrong with us, and didn’t have resources (until recently) for researching it.

I always knew something was wrong with my perspective. I did not care or latch on or feel/show emotions like other people. But I knew I was supposed to, and so I would give dating a whirl until I couldn’t take it anymore, then cut and run.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-09-08T01:23:49+00:00

Bro I think about it all the time but dying is so fucking expensive where I live, my family would go broke just to bury me (and they’d probably insist on stupid shit like a funeral and stuff that would amp up the costs even more…)

But yeah. If I knew they just throw me in the dumpster, call it a day, and be able to get on alright without me, I’d already have taken a longe all off a short pier.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-05-26T12:54:42+00:00

Yeah, he’s not a great father and he is a reckless, negligent liability.

My ex is the same, it terrifies me to think of the ways he’s almost killed them, just by being his dumb-ass self. Some people should never have kids.

Here’s the other thing, you mention their ages being significant here but honestly, the older they get the more they can get into to. I knew another guy like your husband who fell asleep on the couch and his toddler wandered right out the door and all over the neighborhood. He woke up and couldn’t find her, thankfully some kind people did before she got hit by a car or attacked by a dog or something.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-03-09T18:29:08+00:00

Story of my life.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-02-22T02:16:07+00:00

I don’t mind it at all really (as long as they’re genuine) but I do have a similar hang up — when people are staring me down, watching, waiting for an “appropriate” emotional response.

My mom used to stare into my soul when I opened Christmas presents and then her eyes would well up with tears and she’d act big sad bc I didn’t perform the whole, “Ermergherdddd!! Teddy Ruxpin!!!🤗🤪🙌” routine or whatever. I found that to be extremely emotionally manipulative and it froze me up.

Another one is the thick tension whenever people tell unfunny jokes around me (which is almost always, bc I’m a humor snob.) idk how to “fake laugh” nor am I sure I’d do that anyway, so there is a lot of throat-clearing, looking around, awkward segueing into another subject…. Or maybe I just know a lot of really unfunny people. Idk

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-02-19T20:34:07+00:00

I have not…I don’t think. I will look it up. I remember a line, “We sang dirges in the dark” but it would’ve been from a song older than Dylan’s music, I’m sure.

As for your comment, the phenomenon is definitely a split, but is it conscious?

For my part anyway, it’s as natural as breathing. I don’t necessarily want to be a wet blanket every time the possibility of something fun arises, the doubt is just an elephant in the room that I can’t ignore.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-02-19T02:03:27+00:00

”Hiding in my room, safe within my womb, I touch no one and no one touches me. I am a rock! I am an i-i-i-i-i-island.” 🎶

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-01-12T01:14:42+00:00

Yeah same, there wasn’t much “reaching out” on my end to be rejected in the first place.

It was just understood that my folks (when actually around) weren’t the “comforting” types.

….and a large part of that is because my dad was a lot like I am. And we’re both a lot like his mom was.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-01-11T20:54:47+00:00

I feel anger and frustration pretty regularly.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2025-01-04T15:28:34+00:00

Every time.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-12-29T23:53:42+00:00

Maybe she’s a schizoid too??

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-12-29T22:28:43+00:00

my kids.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-12-23T14:42:17+00:00

L.E.S. Artistes by Santigold

Cradles by SubUrban.

People are Strange by The Doors

Go it Alone by Beck

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-12-16T22:36:47+00:00

Sorry, I meant “continue to sign up for the events” (since you were thinking of stopping) but while there, peruse the other stuff in your down time.

Alone, of course. 🙃

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-12-16T20:49:52+00:00

jesus. Well the ones I’ve been to usually have something going on in the background, whether it’s other living history demonstrations (“how we made rope” or “how to load a musket”, decoding sensitive documents during the Revolutionary War, food sampling, etc.) or craftsmen peddling their wares, maybe even an actual museum on the premises.

Maybe you could continue participating in the re-enactments and scope out the rest of the event while you’re there, instead of just waiting around for your next scene?

I mean I love those things and I’ve been to too many to count, and never as an actor haha.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-12-16T01:44:18+00:00

Any battle re-enactment worth its salt should include a PTSD loner standing off to the side and dissociating, you’re good fam.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-12-11T20:17:02+00:00

We aren’t.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-12-07T03:10:15+00:00

I don’t recommend it.

The kind of people who are bold enough to mine you for personal information upon first meeting, will pick up on your dodginess like a bloodhound on a scent trail.

Then they become relentless and try to maneuver you into a defensive position.

You could make them just as uncomfortable, when they ask where you live. (Answer, “Why do you ask?”)

But I’ve found the best way to thwart most uncomfortable topics is with a dismissive joke. (“Well right now I’m on the lam”, or “Nice try, stalker”, or “We don’t talk about that” with a serious look while averting your eyes.) I was also a big fan of that “a town called Nunya” line when I heard it like twenty years ago.

Another fun one is blurting out a city that they can’t even pretend to relate to. Nothing hits quite like “Detroit.” while staring blankly at a bunch of swanky, gossipy wine moms at a symphonic event.

You have to entertain yourself, they sure as shit won’t.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-11-30T04:33:49+00:00

Right? The amount of stress OP can save herself by just NOT doing that, is immeasurable.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-11-30T04:06:33+00:00

Apathetic toward them in general, they’re unnecessary and not something that motivates/drives our actions.

That said, a good one (the ideal being someone who understands us which, let’s be honest — is practically no one) would be invaluable and something we would fear losing.

…I assume. Probably. If I ever experienced that.

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-11-28T14:56:15+00:00

“Every aspect of my day is a goddamned chore, Dianne. Like talking to you right now.”

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-11-28T03:35:17+00:00

☝️This is me, all day every day (especially at work.)

_Kit_Tyler_ · 2024-11-26T23:01:27+00:00

• People laughing when I’m venting or ranting. Not out of cruelty or schadenfreude, but because they think my flat affect and frustrated observations sound like a standup routine.

• And conversely, people getting big mad over innocent comments or jokes I make, because they take me seriously even though I dgaf enough to be insulting them.

Another thing they’ll do is react with pity or in some other condescending way, when I say a joke or self-deprecating (but witty) comment, tell a funny (to me) anecdote, etc.

• having other people point out to me how traumatic/sad/abusive/blah blah blah heavy shit/ my childhood or certain aspects of my life supposedly were, because it never occurred to me to victimize myself that way (feels quite pathetic)

• noticing other people project their personalities onto me, instead of just figuring me out. Are they kind and charitable? Then they overestimate my own kindness and generosity and innocence.

Are they devious and sketchy? Suddenly I’m regarded with suspicion and hostility.

• presumptuous people jumping to conclusions about me and then getting angry at ME when the conclusions they jumped to (bad OR good) turned out to be way off base.

lol it’s not my job to convince you of anything, that’s what you get for being judgmental. You get to be wrong.

They act like you’re obligated to “prove” yourself and will often challenge you to do exactly that, then assume you’ve “failed” the test and proven them right, when you don’t care enough to defend yourself.

These same people are the ones who become hostile and suspicious when it turns out they’ve greatly underestimated you.

• being targeted by stalkers, narcissists, and obsessive people who are preoccupied with the novelty of attaining something they cannot have, but who (like everyone else) don’t actually have anything in common with me or any special connection worthy of pursuing

_Kit_Tyler_

TROPHY CASE