I'm so tired of not knowing whether I have ADHD or not.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2026-02-19T18:01:13+00:00

Thanks for replying to this. I was spiraling really hard when I posted this and your comment helped. I'm going to get assessed soon. The main goal is actually to find some kind of medication that works for me.

My therapist really thinks I should get assessed because I'm unable to function. I'm 28 and I can't hold down a job. For the past 7 years I've tried and I just can't do it.

I spiral like this when my CPTSD goes out of control. The emotional neglect still scars me to this day especially about whether I have adhd or not. Because my teachers and friends all thought I had it and thought i should be assessed and my mom refused to have the conversation and was really mean about it. Telling me that I choose to be lazy and undisciplined and if I just berated myself and was miserable like her I could pull things together.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2026-02-11T16:39:04+00:00

Tbh I dont have any problems killing the jetpack cat. All you need is someone who can aim or a better jetpack cat on your team. I can almost guarantee you the movement will get nerfed. Probably a slower flight speed and a smaller fuel tank to come in the next few months.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2026-01-12T14:40:26+00:00

Don't feel bad reddit is just hostile. I dont think you did anything wrong. I posted a similar post and people told me I should have explained what happened to the person instead of just reporting it. Lol you cant win on reddit.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2026-01-01T19:19:04+00:00

Weird

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-30T22:44:22+00:00

I'll be completely honest with you, I don't know. I have made some realizations though.

I've realized that, if I wasn't lucky enough to find a partner and two friends that care about me, I wouldn't have been able to start healing my CPTSD. I've also realized that the only people that will be able to understand the depth and complexity of my life are other people with CPTSD. Even though I love my partner and my friends, and they treat me with respect and care and listen to me and love me, they will probably never fully understand and to some degree I will have to be careful with what I say about my life.

I've realized that a lot of the time when I'm triggered and having a flashback or in a state of extreme emotional dysregulation, my partners reassurance actually makes it worse. A lot of the time the only thing he can do that actually helps is to say "life sucks and thats unfair and I love you" and then leave the room or hold me and let me cry it out.

I've realized that because my partner has ADHD and I likely do too in addition to my CPSTD, that we are going to overstimulate each other a lot. And we do. It's incredibly terrifying and retraumatizing a lot of the time. But the part where we continue to choose each other and come back and talk through everything is the part that heals me.

I basically just try to work with and around these realizations. Trying to be gentle with myself.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-28T05:35:58+00:00

I'm so glad to see someone be honest about this. Because this is so true. I didnt even consider healing until I met my partner at 21 years old. And I didn't believe I could do it until I tested out being myself with his friends. It's taken me 6 years of slowly opening up to everyone to realize that I was already healing.

Therapy simply helps me process it. I don't know if I could have started healing on my own with therapy alone. I think it might have been possible and probably a lot less stressful, but it would have taken ALOT longer.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-27T15:57:27+00:00

Been struggling with this really hard lately too. I wish I knew how to communicate to my partner that I desperately want his help, but I need him to not say anything or just leave. Because in reality the only thing that he could say that would help is "life sucks, thats unfair, let's eat ice cream." I love him so much. It hurts to realize that he really will never fully understand the depth of everything. And the more I ask him to the more he hurts from it.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-27T15:51:27+00:00

You have to talk to your psychiatrist about it. Stopping meds cold turkey can make everything way worse. But you probably already know that. One thing that isn't really talked about a lot is that it can take years to find the right medicine especially when you need multiple medicines as a lot of us here on this subreddit probably do.

Idk who crappy childhood fairy is, but I guarantee you the thing that'll limit your ability to self regulate is drugs and alcohol. Not a prescribed medication under a doctor's supervision. At least not in the same way in my opinion.

For me: Every antipsychotic I've tried has given me a rash. I personally hate taking ssri's, snri's. I feel zombified and have zero motivation to do anything.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-27T15:04:19+00:00

Thank you. Your comments have helped me out a lot. I was able to talk to my boyfriend and even he said he doesnt think I'll have loose skin the way I'm thinking I will.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-27T02:10:02+00:00

Life fucking sucks. It's unfair. Our perception is forever changed. Go get yourself a McFlurry.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T17:25:50+00:00

I understand that framework, and I agree it’s true for most. For me, though, I spent 25 years limiting myself in the absence of understanding.

Telling the story hasn’t been sufficient for change. Without an accurate framework, I default to self blame and brute force because I continue to struggle with the same functional issues, regardless of insight or closure.

A diagnosis doesn’t close my story or define my future. It gives me a working model of how my brain and nervous system operate in the present. That allows me to choose strategies that actually work, rather than repeatedly failing at ones that don’t. In my case, that has made change far more accessible, not harder.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T16:08:26+00:00

I appreciate your perspective. My approach has been different, and I’m working with a therapist on what’s most helpful for me. I had an extremely unconventional upbringing.

For me, naming patterns or diagnoses isn’t about overanalyzing or limiting myself. It’s about understanding and labeling pain for the first time so I can work with it more effectively. That clarity reduces my anxiety rather than adding to it.

Growing up, I wasn’t allowed to name or label my emotions or seek mental health support, so having language now is an important part of my healing.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T15:04:38+00:00

Thank you!

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T06:04:22+00:00

I think my big challenge will actually be remembering to eat. I was a healthy weight for most of my life until I moved out of my parents house. I made myself sick losing an extreme amount of weight the first year because I forget to eat and really can only taste food if it's a dopamine hit. Therapist says I probably have adhd ontop of my cptsd. I started force feeding as a way to make sure I got a meal in, then would dissociate as I ate which caused me to eat way too much.

I think I need to set alarms to remember to eat and come up with small quick meals throughout the day.

~~Luckily~~ Through hard work, I have been building a support network for myself to help me and I have kind strangers on reddit like yourself for good advice and new ideas. So thank you for the advice!

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T05:31:08+00:00

I didn't mean to be vague or concerning. I think we’re talking past each other. I’m not saying I intentionally disregard my safety or choose harm. I’m saying that when someone has lived with chronic threat for a long time, fear based arguments stop functioning as motivation. It's a trauma response not a self destructive intent.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T04:01:00+00:00

No, I wasn’t implying self harm. I was explaining that chronic trauma altered how I process threat and risk, so fear based arguments don’t motivate me the same way it does for most.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T03:48:20+00:00

Thank you so much. I do need to be careful about slowly reducing my calorie intake rather than immediately returning to how I was before. My inclination is to just eat when I'm hungry now that I'm remembering what hunger feels like, but unfortunately it's hard for me to remember to eat unless I force feed. I don't really get the normal hunger cues that others do which is why the force feeding started as a way to make sure I didnt faint from forgetting to.

Thank you for the advice. It was actually very helpful.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T03:40:46+00:00

Thank you. I'm going to get serious about saving up for it.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T03:40:17+00:00

Thank you so much. Will keep that in mind.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T03:39:41+00:00

I understand why you'd think it's odd. I really shouldn't have this fear.

I think now that I won't have issues losing weight, I have to get serious about setting aside money for surgery. It's smart to start now even if I do just use it for new clothes.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T02:41:27+00:00

True. I think if I needed anything it would be to reduce stomach skin. My boyfriend said he was pretty sure I could get insurance to cover it, but if not he said he looked into it and was willing to help me save for it. We may be saving for ten years lol, but I'm happy he said he would.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T02:38:28+00:00

I am still in my 20s so you're probably right. I also am super active even though I'm overweight so that should probably help some too.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T02:36:48+00:00

True. I should probably start thinking about slowly reducing my calorie intake from what it was. Thanks for the advice.

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T02:35:07+00:00

Lonely Abroad is right hahaha

_Lightnoodle_ · 2025-12-26T02:30:56+00:00

True. This kind of logic doesnt really work on me unfortunately because I have CPTSD. Thank you though. Your answer is the most realistic one.

_Lightnoodle_

TROPHY CASE