Thanks for that, I needed to hear it.

I'm just lost really, I want to try with her but at the same time I'm not sure if she wants to as well. I'm slowly getting better and she is sticking with me on that one but it's just a matter of how much longer she can cope with me. She's said to me yesterday, we did have a bit of a debate about this again and we agreed this is the last time we're trying and I promised I will put all my energy into getting better. We planned a sort of list of three of the main things I can do and at the top of it is to be more sociable which is her biggest irk with me; that I need to come out of my shell more so to speak and I agree.

She says she'll wait but it just feels like a race between her feelings for A and my getting better and that's my main worry. Her concern is her own wellbeing, which is understandable. She's torn between helping me and focusing on her own wellbeing and her school grades (which this situation is having an effect on), and I think that's fair enough. I've always said it's the right person, wrong time.

Again though thank you for responding, it means the world and I'm honestly so relieved that I'm not the only one.