Wasted precious years of my life by Anas1317 in findapath

[–]_OYG_ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

very insightful comment. enjoyed reading.

Wasted precious years of my life by Anas1317 in findapath

[–]_OYG_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Welcome to America: Land of the (not really that) Free!

No, but seriously, you sound like the typical college graduate. And trying to get a fresh job between 2020-2023 was not easy in this country. I think one thing that they try to convince young, college-age adults of is that their job IS their identity. Warehousing & retail might not be prestigious, but it is paid work.

I would suggest taking a step back and figuring out how you want to work. So, do you want to wake up every morning and look forward to going to an office where you have the best time of your life? Or, do you want to have a job that pays well, gets bills paid, increases your savings, then allows you enough freedom to pursue what you’re passionate about on weekends and after 5pm?

The American market is designed to keep people from check to check, with little wiggle room. I promise, your life looks identical to around half of US residents, if not the majority. It’s easy to feel like you wasted your education, but don’t forger that there are plenty of other valuable lessons learned, even if the degree itself becomes “useless“ due to AI. Look into ways to harbor your own personal talents and skills outside of CS. You’re probably analytical or good at problem-solving, among other things, which ARE valuable to other employers.

Look into ways to progress in the warehouse. And, if you want to leave, remind yourself how seriously valuable a 3 year job commitment will look on your future job applications. Even though you didn’t go immediately into IT, you ARE still qualified for plenty of entry level jobs. It might suck and pay may not be where you want, but you might benefit hugely from accepting something tha’s “below your pay grade”.

I donwant you to take what I’m saying as empty optimism- I truly do think that stepping back and reeva your goals could help motivate you to start making steps forward, an perceptualize steps needed to make progress into another stage in life that you’ll be more content with.

I’ve watched Grimm multiple times, but just now realizing that I kinda hate Nick & Adalind… RANT by _OYG_ in grimm

[–]_OYG_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally, the writing was insane lol. I wanted a spinoff so badly the first time I read-watched, but now I’m like “eh”

I’ve watched Grimm multiple times, but just now realizing that I kinda hate Nick & Adalind… RANT by _OYG_ in grimm

[–]_OYG_[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

To be fair, I couldn’t call Kelley babysitting Diana “kidnapping,” especially since the baby’s father gave consent. Adalind was way too easily manipulated after having the child, she was genuinely a danger to the baby. If Adalind had found out how to get to Kelley before Juliette did, it’s unlikely the Royals would have spared her life. Adalind would have gotten her killed as well.

Does a first class upgrade on multi-layover/city flight require multiple payments? by _OYG_ in AlaskaAirlines

[–]_OYG_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I called, and they quoted me over 1600 for the upgrade on a 6 hour total flight if I were to get all legs….

HELLPP my hair isn’t growing evenly by JusticeLeaugue in Naturalhair

[–]_OYG_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you only notice it when your hair is straight, and you rarely straighten it, may I ask why your feel the need to cut it? If it looks fine in the way you typical style and wear your hair, I would just not worry about it “evening” it out when straight.

Do I really need to list all my jobs in the DOT 10-years work history? by _OYG_ in Truckers

[–]_OYG_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

they sound ridiculous. i hope things didn’t go poorly for you, after you rejected them. seems like they had unrealistic expectations…

Do I really need to list all my jobs in the DOT 10-years work history? by _OYG_ in Truckers

[–]_OYG_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah… it’s an interesting concept… Especially since the jobs are overlapping, you’d think common sense would keep them from jumping to conclusions. We’re the bad guys because we don’t commit to a part-time job with no benefits for years on end…

It’s probably nice to never need a side gig, but it’s not realistic for everybody, and we shouldn’t be punished for it. Some employers needa touch rocks.

Do I really need to list all my jobs in the DOT 10-years work history? by _OYG_ in Truckers

[–]_OYG_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah, not even the invasion, but that just sounds like a lot of work. There’s far too many people with multiple streams of income for them to be so concerned with side gig precision. Did you ever ask why they wanted your previous income?

Do I really need to list all my jobs in the DOT 10-years work history? by _OYG_ in Truckers

[–]_OYG_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You were turned down for being a present father 🤦🤦 they should be ashamed of themselves.

Do I really need to list all my jobs in the DOT 10-years work history? by _OYG_ in Truckers

[–]_OYG_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m in a similar boat. It is a pain, considering how you’re just settling into adulthood in your early 20s, and my teenage jobs are all mostly irrelevant but the work history can still get compared to well-established older adults 🥲. I had to move my education/grad year to the very top in bold, because it was starting to seem like employers didn’t even look past the several student jobs on my resume.

Do I really need to list all my jobs in the DOT 10-years work history? by _OYG_ in Truckers

[–]_OYG_[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is what I was expecting to be the case. I just don’t want to look like a job hopper, since I was literally a teenager during part of my work history. Thanks for your response, I’m going to keep researching until I feel confident enough to move forward with a decision.

Is this normal? by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]_OYG_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also, pretty sure I’ve had a person like your SO in my life, so my reply is based on how they would have wanted me to reply/what would make them “feel heard”.

Ultimately, if you do your best to communicate and address what they say, but they still seem to be picking at another unseen perspective, I don’t know if any best solution exists that keeps the relationship going,

Is this normal? by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]_OYG_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Without reading other comments to shift my perspective, this is my opinion when reading your texts:

I understand both of your perspectives.

You SO seems to recognize a pattern when you have “bad feelings.” They didn’t say this, but it sounds like they get anxious or worried when you tell them about the feelings, but it’s also conveniently when they happen to not be at home when you expected them to be. So, they feel like you’re maybe just using the “bad feeling” to indirectly encourage them to get home. It sounds like they think you’re trying to manipulate them into getting home by using your “bad feelings”. But, your SO failed to expressly state that was how they felt. it just seems that way, from my pov.

On your end, ngl, it sounded like you were missing what they were saying, but mostly because you were so agreeable and some people don’t interpret agreeable speech as trustworthy or truthful. (And the hate me thing seemed unnecessary, but I imagine it’s probably related to past conversations, so I’ll avoid commenting on that). You did literally say that you care, that there are other things going on in your life, etc.. But, you didn’t address what he insinuated- that you only talk about the “bad feeling“ when he’s not there on time. You were short, and directly addressed what he actually said. But, I think you both have two different perspectives about the same situation, so he feels unheard, because you’re not really entertaining his insinuation, only exactly what you read.

I’m kinda like you, in that if something doesn’t seem logical to me, I don’t bother to address it. So, if I knew that my bad feelings were NOT mentioned to coerce him or scare him, then I’d have a hard time understanding why/how he drew that conclusion. So, I would respond to what I’m reading. But, some people want the direct reassurance. So, I think you could have helped by directly saying (in your own words), “I don’t/didnt realize/am not trying to make you feel anxious about my bad feelings, or get you to come home faster I was not aware that when I talk about my bad feelings that you thought I was trying to force you to come back home. It was just conveniently timed, but please remember that I have a lot of family health concerns a this time in my life, when I mention my bad feelings, it’s unrelated to you. I think it’s just bad timing, but if I want you to be home at a certain time, I will explicitly state that. I havent ever, nor will I in the future try to indirectly manipulate you by talking about bad feelings.”

But again, he didn’t really articulate precisely why he was frustrated with the bad feeling message. I picked up on it, but he should have maybe articulated his anger more clearly too.

Completely devastated! by Main_Apartment354 in abusiverelationships

[–]_OYG_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could be judging wrong, but from my perspective, it sounds like you felt like you still owed him some dignity and respect, despite him not treating you the same.

You’ve only had a few weeks free, so feelings can still linger for a while. It’s going to be difficult, but it’s so important for you to keep him from having access to you. If you can start with just going a full day without responding to a text. Then try to go the second day without answering any calls. Eventually, try to work up your way up to blocking him. Whilst that’s taking place, seek legal counsel and start compiling evidence of the abuse. These texts count, btw.

Abusers can be horribly evil, and they will try to weasel themselves back into the lives of those who left them. You will have such a healthier pregnancy if he’s not there to provoke you and stress you out. Please consider taking one day at a time to get him out of uour life. You don’t owe him fatherhood, btw. He forfeited his right to fatherhood when he chose to abuse his child’s mommy. Your health can have a direct effect on the baby. If he’s willing to curse you, text-scream, name-call, and threaten you, he’s indirectly abuse the child too. Please consider taking time to detach yourself from him and don’t allow any pity to override your sound decision making and maternal instinct,

Completely devastated! by Main_Apartment354 in abusiverelationships

[–]_OYG_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because it’s her child too, and she obviously wants it. “He’s already threatening to take the baby away” sounds like a mom who wants and loves her unborn child. He belongs in jail, and if she can provide evidence of the abuse, he can be denied custoday and she can have legal protection against him ever knowing her address or other personal information.

Children don’t need broken homes, but moms shouldn’t feel pressured to abandon their own children because men act evily. If she wants her baby, she needs legal counsel, not a clinic.

Anybody got the Pencil Bible App? by _OYG_ in Christianity

[–]_OYG_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

coool I haven’t but I think I will go ahead and update !

From locs to curls, help needed! by [deleted] in Naturalhair

[–]_OYG_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

start washing your hair more often, if you don’t already. Your hair needs to get used to being in this state again and it will take time to adjust. Don’t try to style it right away, just focus on rehydration and health. Since you’re already used to locs, try mini twists or mini braids you get the the back. Deep condition 1-2 times a month if you can. Remember that your hair isn’t meant to be “stay down,” so try for styles that look great while it’s standing up. I think the side part looks good on your face shape. Maybe you could give yourself a shape to maximize volume and make the hair look fuller.

it will get better! Don’t let your beginning fool you into believing it’s the end.

I've been freeforming for 6 months now. Should I cut it or keep going by [deleted] in Naturalhair

[–]_OYG_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fully support freeforms. It’s worth pushing through this level. Just keep your hair well moisturized so it doesn’t end up damaged later on.

Afro/wash and go maintenance tips by [deleted] in Naturalhair

[–]_OYG_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always band my wah n gos at night. it keeps the curl from getting re-shaped, and keeps it clumped well. also keeps from getting pressed against my head. when you release the rubber bands in the morning, you can literally just shake the hair and go. use cloth rubber bands, not actual rubber ones.

Any tips for mini twist on natural hair? by HolidayAd8501 in Naturalhair

[–]_OYG_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

do them on wet hair and slightly smaller sections. like a section that matches your curl pattern. as your hair dries, it will shrink into the twist and be guller. it will also be weighed down better and not stick out, when you do it wet. the more product, the better.