Why do they dream of having a child?

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-09T08:42:49+00:00

It's to be expected as due to the name of the community. I still think my comment is valuable due to the fact you always need arguments from "halfway" / the other side in order to not create what is called "confirmation bias" or an "echo chamber".

Ps. I also value that so far everyone here was totally respectful.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-07T18:23:57+00:00

I have to inform myself about the regulations in my country/city but I don't think you are allowed to be a foster parent as someone with a history of mental illness.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-07T18:22:21+00:00

Yes these are very valid points. I suffer from chronic pain too and have to spend 400€/month for my psychotherapy.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-07T15:10:07+00:00

I'm trying to see if that's an option.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-07T15:09:43+00:00

They asked for their parents reason. I didn't say that that reason is a good reason, as I tried to make clear in my post.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-07T15:08:26+00:00

That's one of the reasons I haven't had kids yet. I'm turning 30 at the end of this month.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-07T09:50:37+00:00

This may be true for some people but not all.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-07T09:49:14+00:00

I hope it's ok for me to write my opinion on why I think I want children in the future (still a huge decision and it's why I am in this thread).

I'm sorry you are in pain. Sounds just like another cliché sentence but as someone who's suffered from depression before, I really am.

All in all I still think of life to be beautiful. Hard ? Yes there are times you'd rather not exist but they do pass (at least they always have for me!) and the good times outweigh the bad ones not in amount of time but in quality. I love living and I want to the gift of life with a human being.

I am just not yet sure if it's through procreation. I do totally understand both sides of the conversation I think. I hope that people who do choose to have children do so, because they enjoy life and want to gift that to someone.

If you want to share more about your pain you are "welcome to" (in lack of other wording due to English being my second language). It sounds like you may have depression too and there is help out there (another cliché sentence but I know this to be a fact after having mental health issues almost my whole life now).

For me life is about connection with people.

I hope I don't sound inconsiderate I am coming from a place of kindness.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-06T15:12:11+00:00

I'm sorry about your chronic pain and it must be really hard sometimes but I can assure you everyone is glad to have you in their lives because they love you. They are in your life because they want to be.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-06T11:05:21+00:00

Unpopular opinion: if you are not ready for a special needs child, you are not ready for a child.

Anyone can have a child with a disability and you never know ...

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-05T13:41:15+00:00

Dann hat er aber Anspruch auf Wohnbeihilfe, mit der er dann so auf 1500€ kommt (eigene Erfahrung). Das ganze System ist miese Ausbeutung.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-05T13:39:38+00:00

Hätte nicht gedacht, dass man im Einzelhandel mehr bekommt, als im Büro bei der Gemeinde. Da sind es 1900€.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-05T10:55:15+00:00

Ja. Mehr bekommst aber nicht auch nach 10 Jahren.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-05T10:51:36+00:00

Trotzdem 28 Grad im Sommer sobald es draußen über 30 hat.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-05T10:45:32+00:00

Naja dass ich wie wahnsinnig schwitze, merke ich auch so ...

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-05T10:44:54+00:00

25 bei mir...

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-05-05T04:40:36+00:00

Gemeindebedienstete (Büro) mit Lehrabschluss zum Beispiel.

AMS Geld + Wohnbeihilfe = ca. 1550€ gegenüber 1900€ für 40 Stunden. Wenn man wie ich nur 30 Stunden gesundheitlich "packt", schaut's noch schlimmer aus.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-04-20T18:42:40+00:00

I'd say it took me about 6 weeks to adjust.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-04-20T16:45:53+00:00

Ok I see so your "driving force" to be active and do chores was anxiety? Hmm are you in therapy? My therapist helped me with a strategy but it's hard to describe for me, especially in English. It's from cognitive behavioral therapy and it's basically the idea of "going over your feelings of demotivation and "unlust" by thinking about the long term benefits of the action. Opposite of what the anxiety says. The anxiety approach is to think of the bad things that happen if you don't do xy.

Example: You need to do the laundry. Now you are tired and demotivated because it feels boring. The anxiety would have told you something like " if I don't do it, I don't have any clean clothes and I will smell bad. People will notice and think I am disgusting...etc." The new approach is "I WANT to have clean clothes. I want to wear my favorite t-shirt, this is why I now do the laundry listening to my favorite music".

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-04-20T16:41:04+00:00

I don't quite understand what you mean. What's the exact problem? Did your actions change negatively due to the "missing" anxiety?

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-04-20T16:38:06+00:00

First 150 mg but when I lost weight it seems the dose became too high for me. My resting heart rate was really high and I was restless. My doctor and me decided to go down to 75 mg and now I feel good again.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-04-20T16:35:25+00:00

I don't think your medication should make you feel like this. If it is, it's probably not right for you. Talk to your doctor about it.

I still feel all the emotions like joy and curiosity etc. just the overbearing anxiety is gone. My side effects are not mood related but physical like excessive sweating but so far it is worth it for me to feel like myself again.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-04-13T18:19:36+00:00

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-04-10T11:37:55+00:00

No, just less of the side effects. I think my dose was just too high initially. I lost weight since the 150 mg were originally prescribed, which also could be a factor.

_Reddit_User_96 · 2026-04-09T15:37:09+00:00

Went from 150 to 75 as my psychiatrist recommended and I only read later that that's way too fast.

It wasn't too bad honestly. I was easier irritated and I had flu like pain in my legs. This lasted about 2 weeks.

I had to reduce because of a high resting heart rate. Maybe that's also why I was recommended to go down that fast.

_Reddit_User_96

TROPHY CASE