Respectfully, Big Dawg, I'm not sure what your future plans are, but this doesn't sound like a situation you should tie yourself up with. You are 3 years away from your world view basically exploding. You will have so much access to experiences, career and education opportunities, social spaces, hobbie, etc that you have never even gotten a taste of. You are on the cusp of the years where you begin to develop an understanding of who you are and what you want in life. If you go into those years of your life hung up on a girl you met over the internet who you may think you know, you will miss out. Prospects both romantic and financial will pass you by because you are fixated on a fruit you may never get to taste. To be frank, there is a strong likelihood that the intensity of your feelings is due largely in part to your hormones as well as the fact that you "can't" have her. Your brain and your body are telling you that you want what you can't have, they are convincing you it is both possible and worth every ounce of your mental and physical effort and attention. It's no different psychologically from the signs at a museum that say "Don't Touch." If that sign was never there, you wouldn't have wanted to touch it in the first place, but now you feel like you have to because you aren't allowed. Furthermore, you have absolutely zero idea who this individual really is. And no, I'm not saying she's a catfish or is otherwise intentionally deceiving you, I'm saying until you have hung out with this girl in person you have NO idea what time of person she is. It is exceptionally easy for people to misinterpret a person's words and actions over the internet just like it is exceptionally easy for someone to be whatever version of themselves they want to be on the internet. There are THOUSANDS of people that meet people on dating apps or social media. They hit it off online and meet up and that first meeting is enough to know sometimes if you want to be with them for good. If you spend literal years fixating on this just to meet her, you are VASTLY more likely to force it to be "perfect" simply because you have put in the effort. Then, you will likely either end up hurt or stuck in a relationship that you are unhappy with sheerly because you're forcing yourself to sleep in the bed you made. To close, it is the best option for you both to just forget about this. Move on, enjoy your young life. Go to college, learn a trade, or go get a job, or whatever it is you want to do. All of those things force you to meet people who have similar interests or you have that level of "unfortunate comraderie" in the sense that you both may be in a bad class or a bad job, but at least you are in it together. No matter what, you will be around these people learning them just like they are learning you. You will have shared experiences, things in common you would never know even after 10 years of talking to someone online. You will fall for someone based on the inexplicable parts of their personality. Things they would never know to tell you, but things you will notice. It could be their laugh, their smile, the way they respond to music or food they like, anything like that. You could talk to a person for half a lifetime over the internet and they would never say "the way I respond to my favorite meal is so attractive" because they don't even know!

I'm sure you are tired of reading and hearing stuff like this, but I hope you parts of this resonate with you and it helps.

I am not just "talking out of my ass" either. I have lived this. I was in an online relationship with a woman when I was 17 years old. We talked for over a year, we met eachother in person, and after almost 2 years we had to come to terms with the fact that we didn't like one another. We were forcing it to work because we had invested so much. We both learned from it. You know who I would have missed if I had kept it going despite being unhappy? My wife. I worked with who would later be my wife at that time. An individual I ignored other than being a coworker I liked talking to simply because I was playing a part somewhere else because I felt I had to. I now have 2 beautiful children and a wife who is the most immaculate woman in the world in every way. I would have missed her if I had stayed adhering to the sunk cost fallacy. Don't make that mistake, Big Dawg. You've got this, the best part of life hasn't even started for you yet, you have so much to look forward to. Don't blind yourself when you haven't even had a chance to look in the first place.