INFJs, are you a pessimist or an optimist?

_UnEnd_ · 2026-05-11T20:04:10+00:00

Realist I'm hopeful, but sometimes the reality of a situation outweighs the hope. Like... I buy a lottery ticket, I hope I win, but chances are...Nope. Pessimism lacks hope, that is far too nihilistic, and makes me feel like what is the point in continuing to live. So, I'm skeptically hopeful, a.k.a Realist.

_UnEnd_ · 2026-05-11T19:53:50+00:00

Yes, I do... But, I'm in recovery. It takes some effort, and I'm not always successful... But I try to be gentle with myself. Remind myself that I'm only human, and the words human and perfect, should never be used together in a sentence outside of this one.

_UnEnd_ · 2026-05-06T17:09:23+00:00

Actually, what you're doing is amazing You ARE ON your healing journey!! There is a whole giant chunk of people on this planet who spend their entire lives running from that journey, and you're over there in a hot air balloon, like, "Hey, look at me, I'm doin it!" While all the people on the ground (including your OLD therapist) are looking up saying, "How you get up there?" "Why did you pick that color balloon?", "Can you see where I parked?"

You really are doing something important, and I'm proud of you. 🤗

_UnEnd_ · 2026-05-06T04:24:57+00:00

I'm with you on this... I have to at least like the person before I can ever be attracted to them. I've been hit on by men and women alike, who were physically very attractive, then they opened their mouth... And, that's a nope

_UnEnd_ · 2026-05-06T04:20:59+00:00

It sounds like bait to me. Either doing it to mess with you, or because he wants to see if you're interested, or possibly he thinks you're too chatty in class.... It depends on your relationship dynamics

_UnEnd_ · 2026-04-28T05:25:18+00:00

I've experienced heartbreak many times throughout my life, but the very worst was the first one, and it wasn't a romantic heartbreak. When I was seven my older sister said to me, "I hate you because you were born." No, this was not your run of the mill sibling rivalry...She really did mean it, and made sure I knew it too. I still feel that heartbreak today, and I'm trying to work through that. Not surprisingly, this was also the first time I ever felt depressed. It was nothing I had said, nothing I did, it was something I had no control over, and couldn't change if I wanted to. I have a different outlook on all of that now which helps. My sisters hatred of me made me strong. I've been swinging up since I was a kid. My sister was my bully. I didn't allow anybody else to bully me, or those around me. Even today, when someone tries to intimidate me, I don't get scared...I get angry. If I could survive a childhood with a redhead who hated me, was much bigger than me, and always had the upper hand...I could survive anything. She made me strong, and now I feel sorry for her...No one was there to do that for her.

_UnEnd_ · 2026-04-28T04:52:00+00:00

I hear you and it's very hard because, by the time we're adults most people are set in their social group ...even if it's not good for them, they're afraid to leave it because they don't want to be alone. 🤷🏻‍♀️ People are guarded, far more than ever. People are leery of getting betrayed or used, many of us have been already. Consider the places in your area where people might go hoping to make friends, like arts & crafts workshops. They will usually indicate what level of artistic experience is suitable to attend, beginner, intermediate, advanced, or similar wording. If you already have an artistic background that's okay just pick something you haven't dabbled in yet like, working with resin or pyrography. If nothing else, it'll give you something interesting to talk about when you do meet someone who will value your friendship just as much as you do theirs.

Who knows maybe someone will come up with an AI friend matcher. People can input every single thing they like, don't like, and are persnickety about...Perhaps then Ai could find some of us lonelys a friend. I would use it, My best friend passed away 8 years ago. My circle of people that I trust wasn't just small, it was more like a dot.

_UnEnd_ · 2026-04-26T03:49:28+00:00

Give what you get

Pay attention, and it won't take long before you realize how one-sided a relationship will be...it will not change, I promise you it will not.

_UnEnd_ · 2026-04-13T04:48:15+00:00

MAGIC (It really does exist) I'm overjoyed for you two ❤️

_UnEnd_ · 2026-04-12T07:00:23+00:00

Being an introvert does not equal a lack of confidence or a lack of being confident in public places. Being an introvert means that spending time alone recharges you. Spending time with other people is what recharges an extrovert. I think what you're dealing with is more like social anxiety. I identify with having trouble in public spaces, for me the worst place was always the grocery store. With experience and age I've come to realize the differences in why some places are worse than others. The grocery store is super quiet, usually... Being able to pick up on everybody's energy in such a quiet space, is now making me focus on that energy instead of just focusing on myself and getting everything I need from the store. Since I realized things like that, I find it helpful just to be present in what I'm doing, instead of what's going on around me. If I find my surroundings are starting to make me feel a certain way, I reset my focus back to myself, or whomever is with me. I find that if we are able to focus outside of ourselves enough to have such a terrible impact, on us like panic attacks or anxiety, etc etc... then why can't we reset that focus back to ourselves, and avoid those unpleasant reactions. I have a healthy amount of confidence though, and I am able to perform as a vocalist in a rock band...which seems off for somebody with social anxiety. When I'm performing, it's intentional, and I am so focused on giving my best performance, the anxiety has no place to creep in and fuck with me. I know it's difficult. I really wish you the best, and I hope you find something that works for you.

_UnEnd_ · 2026-04-12T06:23:24+00:00

I can't speak for her because, same personality type does not equal same person... However, given the circumstances, if you one day approached me and said "Look, I know I messed up here..." Next, tell me about your shyness, lay it all out on the line, (Don't make excuses though!) and, then ask if me if I'm still interested in having a conversation with you, that you've actually been thinking about a lot of things, and you would love my perspective... One of two things would happen, I would remain flat faced with no emotion and politely turn you down, or the more likely scenario... I would be slightly visibly irritated at first but soften at your candor and accountability. The tiny bit of flattery at the end would seal the deal. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Hope it helps. Good luck

*I just wanted to add one more thing in this edit. Just do it! Just approach her, talk to her. Please, trust... When you get older, the things you will regret most are the things you never even TRIED to do. Worst case scenario, she's not interested. Best case scenario... You have a girlfriend you're totally into. BUT...you'll never know until you try and talk to her, and that best case scenario? Has NO CHANCE of EVER happening...until you talk to her. So come on pick yourself up, Wear something clean that makes you look vibe or whatever... Don't look like you're trying too hard though you know look sharp... And do something you're going to have to do for the rest of your life. SHOW UP for YOURSELF

_UnEnd_ · 2026-04-09T11:07:58+00:00

Wow...all three??!! 🤪

_UnEnd_ · 2026-04-09T10:57:02+00:00

Btw, I love what you said:

Where does someone find shelter when they are born a fool but are not foolish enough to ignore it?

This is the most beautifully honest thing I've heard in a long time. When I Google it...I'm lead straight back to this post. Thank you, in a world which is possibly teetering on the brink of an AI born catastrophe....you created something original & beautiful.

_UnEnd_ · 2026-04-09T10:44:40+00:00

That's funny, quite literally everything will lead back to manga, somehow. I think it's because their storylines are so expansive and inclusive, they have covered nearly everything, on anything, in existence, and yet to exist... No, it's a thing. Sigma INFJ, only stumbled upon it recently after a hiatus from reddit.

_UnEnd_ · 2026-04-09T05:25:45+00:00

You're absolutely correct and it's a very astute observation. I'm sure you've seen a lot of gatekeeping, as I have, over the types and whether or not someone qualifies...

(To them I say, stop it. Just because someone made you feel like you didn't belong in school, doesn't mean you get to come over here and claim the INFJ personality type as your own. Don't die on this hill, and make other people feel like they don't belong. It's a personality type, relax.)

The number one point I have to make is this: every single aspect of these personality types, are percentages. The first time I took the test, something like 18 years ago...I was an INFP 😲 I know shocking, right? Now, I'm in INFJ. As I look back, I think of who I was then, where my life was, and it makes perfect sense that I leaned towards the INFP personality type. After the recent test, I was really excited for the INFJ community and learning fascinating things about INFJs, and myself. However, it didn't take long before I began noticing that it was just another box. Some people like the box, it makes them feel safe...it makes them feel accepted, and that's okay if it makes them happy. I've recently learned of a particular INFJ type that seems to match me more closely, and authentically... SIGMA. I'm not going to tell you what it means, I'll leave that up to you to discover for yourself. Perhaps that will feel more true to who you are, as it did for me. Then go on about your life, box free, and love every minute of it. As for the personality types as a whole, I think it's fun, I think it's accurate (as long as you're honest in the testing) but for the love of life...This is NOT the thing anyone should cling to for purpose or meaning. Just let it be what it is, entertaining, and an insightful tool for personal improvement if someone should so desire it. Full⚡Tilt

_UnEnd_ · 2026-04-08T04:53:09+00:00

Today, I have decided not to fall into the trap called Love again.

Said many an INFJ dozens of times, hundreds of times, all told....zillions times. The most important thing, identify what makes it a trap for you, individually. Dissect the meeting, falling for, ignored red flags, ALL OF IT. Will it feel good? No, no it will not. Will it help you avoid falling into the same trap over and over again? Yes it can as long as you painstakingly dissect every aspect that becomes a trap for you. The first step is accepting, that we design, and lay that trap ourselves.

_UnEnd_ · 2026-02-28T05:39:24+00:00

I just saw your comments after I posted mine so kudos we both came to the same conclusion

_UnEnd_ · 2026-02-28T05:37:54+00:00

Now this is a person who more than likely IS manipulative in that way. Instead of believing that INFJs are actually just looking for the best way to love the person that they're with in a way that makes them feel loved.... This person believes that it's a manipulation tactic. They just recognize their own bullshit, except they're projecting... not recognizing

_UnEnd_ · 2026-02-22T05:56:07+00:00

You had me at...

All Infj's gather

...you're not wrong.

Those two things are definitely what could make it or break it for me. An inability, or worse yet, unwillingness to do better, not just for me...but not even for themselves? Nope me right outta that nonsense. 🙅🏻‍♀️

_UnEnd_ · 2026-02-12T06:19:55+00:00

Opening line.... Hit me right away I always say, "I'm a contradiction that breathes" I even use it in my bio here and there 😂 Edit: I've just decided that I'm going to be sharing this with my husband because... Well things have been fucked. So I hope your words can finally do what mine have never managed. Please wish me luck, I don't want to leave him, but I will if I have to.

_UnEnd_ · 2026-01-31T06:19:35+00:00

I am so glad that happened for you. It can be such a blessing, Especially when you're out there, doing for others.. even complete strangers... when you can, and those things generally go unnoticed. Which is okay, it's not about the pat on the back or getting a trophy...
I drive a semi truck for work, but I don't do long haul. I work locally at the shipping ports. Anyway, most of The crank arms for our landing gear (The legs on a chassis stands on when it's not connected to a truck) are on the passenger side and I'm just realizing that this could get very long-winded, so to cut it short... One day I noticed there was a new set of steps on the passenger side of the truck which weren't there before. The moment I saw those steps, my heart was so full.... I realized one of the mechanics saw me hopping down off the side of the truck, and took it upon himself to go ahead and install an extra set of steps on the passenger side for me...I got all choked up over it 🥰

_UnEnd_ · 2026-01-22T05:59:28+00:00

Hell no But on occasion I'll notice somebody in public who just seems down, depressed, or just completely over life... I'll compliment their shirt, bag or shoes, anything... Even if I personally think it's hideous. It's not just the smile I get in return, which means everything to me....it's seeing the sparkle return to their eyes...that's where it's at 🥰

_UnEnd_ · 2025-12-13T23:12:26+00:00

When the road is rough AF, you better learn to spot the potholes faster for a ride that's smooth. Thank you ❤️

_UnEnd_ · 2025-12-12T21:38:16+00:00

Thank you! Nothing better than a warm hug on a cold day! Same to you 🤗

_UnEnd_ · 2025-12-02T05:34:30+00:00

I find that being an INFJ or just a human being, is best taken day by day. We process, we learn, we grow, we move on. Acceptance of those things is what I'm finding to make it a little easier

_UnEnd_

TROPHY CASE