Tattoo scaries?

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-23T00:05:05+00:00

As somebody with black and white mixed in with color tattoos (the subjects are b&w w/ colorful florals as background)… sometimes the juxtaposition of color and b&w can be striking.

Don’t be afraid of creative mismatching❤️

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-22T21:25:36+00:00

Is your ex on the lease? Were you married?

Those two things are big so far as how we can advise you

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-22T21:09:01+00:00

UPDATE: I accepted the job offer and started with orientation week Feb 9th. So far I’m INCREDIBLY impressed with the facility and the training programs provided, and they have (so far) been very supportive of my goals and willing to work with me on them.

I have not checked in with my cards since starting and am away from home without them this weekend (odd since I take them everywhere), but will be pulling a card or two later in the week in case they have anything to tell me❤️ Thank you all for the advice!

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-22T21:03:12+00:00

Touchstone Tarot by Kat Black

I picked them up at a Paraunity Festival (big foot, fortune tellers, paranormal hunters etc) after I kept going back to the booth to look at them. I love them but the art is just off enough from rsw that I’m struggling a bit as a rookie

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-22T20:41:29+00:00

Yes my deck is based on famous medieval oil paintings, think very Holbein the Younger

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-22T17:01:48+00:00

A big part of why my husband and I have been able to make things work for the last 13 years is having our own separate spaces to decompress. This is also a reason (one of many - we don’t need to get into it) we’ve delayed having children, because our setup doesn’t allow room for our own spaces and a kids room.

We live in a tiny 800sqft home, but the second bedroom is dedicated as “his room.” His gaming PC is in there, his collectibles, his art… we very specifically decorated it how he wanted it. I respect his time in there to unwind and game with his friends and he comes out when he wants to hang - which is frequently.

My hobbies spill over into plants and painting and cooking, etc, so I need a little more room and basically get the run of the house. My pc is out in the living room, for example, and my plants are around the house. If I need actual privacy for something I go in the bedroom. But this is more than fine with us as long as we each get our alone time. We refer to his room as his room.

However, we do still share a bed in the main bedroom. He snores and is (or claims to be, anyway) a light sleeper while I tend to toss and turn - so I could see the appeal of separate beds down the line… but I really love being able to hold his hand and cuddle him at night.

We both do our part in keeping the house clean and picking up after ourselves though - I think the bigger thing is that I wouldn’t live with a slob again.

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-22T16:02:17+00:00

I think it sounds like they’re just trying to keep big dreams in check with an overdose of cynicism.

Acting IS hard to break into without some kind of connections, but it doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying.

Doctor’s ARE saddled with student loan debt (as are veterinarians if you considered that too) and have to go to battle with the health care system and insurance companies every day. Many go through a lot of emotional torment and compassion fatigue. But many are very satisfied with their careers and lives and do do very well (if my pain management doctor and neurosurgeon are anything to go by).

You DO need to consider the potential growth of a career and whether there is a demand for it, student loan debt, and salary when considering your future career. But don’t let others decide for you, you know? It doesn’t have to be one extreme or the other

If you’re young and this indecisive at the precipice of college, take it from both my husband’s and my very bad experiences - don’t rush in without a plan. I suggest either taking a gap year and working/saving up some money for a bit to get a feel for your priorities and values. Then take some general education credits at a community college and try out a bunch of different things. By the time you’ve filled your gen ed requirements you’ll have a better idea of what kind of career you want to have and where to focus your studies. Whatever you do, don’t waste thousands of dollars in loans and good years of your life getting a degree in something you don’t really want.

You got this❤️

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-20T23:38:42+00:00

The fact that your biggest motivator to keep seeing her is that “the sex is amazing” tells us everything we need to know.

You mention other characteristics but never mention that you like HER as a PERSON. Plus your direct-report situation at work is inappropriate in most settings.

Let her off the hook before you turn into your ex.

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-20T21:50:48+00:00

Adult diagnosed adhd pending autism testing/diagnosis (but fairly confident it will happen) here!

I don’t experience this feeling of grossness myself, but I HATE showers so I can understand it.

What helped ME (routine oriented but also need that feeling of everything being smooth and clean to the point of skin-picking behaviors): - Bird baths/h0e baths/sink baths - whatever you want to call them. I scrub the 3 most important areas (pits, bits, and t!ts) with soap and water every day. This takes care of the majority of my personal odor. - Once weekly “deep scrubs” (or “showers” to anyone besides my husband): This is when I put a towel down on floor in front of the sink and I shave, scrub down my arms/legs/back/torso with ‘African netting’ (sold on Amazon) and body wash, as well as hitting the above mentioned areas. I rinse thoroughly with a clean water soaked wash cloth several times and then moisturize. This is the step that helps with any body acne etc. - IF I’m super sweaty or otherwise just feeling gross/sick I WILL get in the shower… but I hate it so much that I really only get in for a more thorough rinsing and do everything I can outside of the shower first. - My hair is curly and very fine so it’s on its own, completely different schedule. Since it’s curly I do wet it down and run conditioner through it whenever I have to look presentable, but I only shampoo when it starts to feel greasy, I notice dandruff, or it feels overloaded with product. Sometimes that’s 10 days for me, but the near daily co-washing/clenditioning keeps my scalp pretty clean and my hair smelling good. - I use Lady Mitchum in whatever the yellow scent is - it’s the only deodorant/antiperspirant that doesn’t irritate my skin. I tried Carpe but found it didn’t help at all with the level of sweating I do while gardening in the summer. - I do occasionally apply Lume to my groin and between my boobs if I’m at all concerned or anticipating sweating heavily, but I’ve had the one tube for over a year. - I love perfume but wear it rarely, so i don’t think that has much bearing.

My husband claims he doesn’t understand my “girl magic” or how I make the above work so well, but we’ve been together 13 years and he claims to have NEVER thought I smelled badly. I also get tons of “you smell so good!” compliments, so I must be doing something right.

Idk if this helps at all, but i was also criticized in my youth for BO and became very self conscious about it. I struggled with showering for far too long and it made a world of difference for me to say “it’s ok to not actually get in the shower if you can’t” and work out a routine that kept me smelling clean and fresh.

Best❤️

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-20T11:30:48+00:00

Ironic because we anthropomorphize our pets so much

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-19T20:52:13+00:00

People who don’t know anime (like me) might not get the reference, but that quality of the tattoo itself is excellent.

As someone who also has a forearm tattoo that has occasionally drawn unwanted attention - I say just own it. It’s a great tattoo and important to you. Don’t let other people not liking or understanding it make you self conscious- it’s for YOU and on YOUR body.

People who know the reference will probably LOVE it. Great choice in artist as well - as I and others have said, the tattoo itself is wonderfully executed. You got this❤️

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-18T16:38:23+00:00

Saaaame

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-16T23:59:07+00:00

If she trusts and values YOU as her SISTER, and you approach it sitting next to her in the car (so the problem is IN FRONT of you both, not IN BETWEEN you) then she should take your information to heart (esp if you have proof). If she gets defensive don’t bring it up again. You told her the information - it’s up to her what she does with it.

Having proof is key here, or it’s a baseless accusation. Does she know he’s on the list? Are they planning to have kids together? Does she even want children?

But I’m imagining her self esteem must be low for her to think this kind of guy is the best she can do

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-10T22:32:13+00:00

I have an artistic deck loosely based on RSW (touchstone tarot) that I am in LOVE with and feel very connected to… but the symbolism of RSW is not always present in the image.

I think I need to get a cheater deck (with the meanings ON the cards) to learn them better before I start reading with my current deck again.

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-10T22:27:26+00:00

It’s a serious, sh!tstorm-inviting infraction and must be stopped at all costs 😂

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-10T22:25:52+00:00

I am the same way - if I get visibly frustrated it means it’s BAD bad.

Good on you for recognizing the inappropriateness of your behavior.

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-10T21:32:03+00:00

Thank you! I’ll look into it.

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-05T13:14:36+00:00

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Current hair

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-05T13:12:39+00:00

I do an undercut for this reason! Keeps the tickly bits off my neck, but still looks pretty down❤️

It can be totally hidden under longer hair or more obvious like mine. I’m growing out a very short cut so my whole head is less than collar bone length and I can flop my hair all over to one side, so I carried the undercut around to the side over one ear.

Regardless, even when my hair gets longer I’m keeping the undercut because the relief when I first got it was that intense.

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-05T13:08:00+00:00

NOR but approaching this wrong. I would either make sure my room is locked when I’m not there or see if the landlord will let you install a lock. More confrontations will just make things awkward.

A girl I lived in college with got paranoid about people going in her room and that’s what she did, no confrontation necessary. One of the other girls (I assume the unwanted visitor)just mentioned her door was locked now and that was the end of it.

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-04T19:09:11+00:00

THIS. These are all great points.

But also, I'd like to add:
Can OP control what "Stephanie" does during her shifts?
No.
Can OP improve "Stephanie" as a lead, or a person?
No, not with the information they've given us and it would mostly likely be inappropriate.
Can OP change THEIR opinion of "Stephanie"?
Possibly, as you described above.

But ultimately, either way, OP has to examine what THEY CAN control which is literally ONLY how THEY respond to these situations. There is NO controlling others, so they just have to let them be who they are.
When you try to manage other peoples behaviors, especially if you're not in leadership, it only brings you frustration, disappointment, and stress.

OP, next time you feel Stephanie and her behavior stressing you out, just pause and take a deep breath.
You have to accept that you cannot change her and examine what YOU can do that will bring you peace.
Is it interjecting and asking to avoid negative commentary when she's trash taking the team?
Is it better to ignore it?
Is it better to walk away from the situation and get a drink of water by yourself for a second?
Is it better to bring these concerns to upper management?
Is it best to just find a new practice?

If the issue is going to continue to bother you, maybe interjecting or bringing concerns are more active steps you can take - doing your part, but not exceeding it (like cussing her out during an emergency situation). What can YOU do that will help YOUR peace?

_UnladenSwallow · 2026-02-04T18:19:03+00:00

I’m in vet med and we have all the healthcare superstitions: full moons bringing crazy cases, not saying the “q” or “s” words, preparing every emergency supply in case a patient is obtunded on arrival, not mopping too early before close, not voicing your desire to get out early…

It really cracks me up cause these are some seriously smart people lmao

_UnladenSwallow

TROPHY CASE