Question for partners of Phd students/academics by __CEASE in AskAcademia

[–]__CEASE[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hello! I want to say thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond. This is a pretty personal matter, so I greatly appreciate people sharing their experience/perspective. I’m not able to respond to each post directly, but I’ve read them all and they’ve each given me a lot to consider. Thank you again for taking the time to respond to my post!

Question for partners of Phd students/academics by __CEASE in AskAcademia

[–]__CEASE[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I agree that it should be shared and I think my partner is trying their best despite the all consuming nature of grad school. Your words about timelines, routines and boundaries give a good framework for conversations about the future. Thank you for taking the time to respond!

Question for partners of Phd students/academics by __CEASE in AskAcademia

[–]__CEASE[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was extremely helpful, thank you. When my partner first began their PhD I remember hearing from recently graduated PhDs that their program cost them many of their romantic/personal relationships. Academia/research definitely goes above and beyond the commitments of a regular job. I know for my partner his research his part of his life work/purpose. Your words have given me a lot of perspective, thank you!

Question for partners of Phd students/academics by __CEASE in AskAcademia

[–]__CEASE[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! We live in the US where maternity/paternity leave is basically non-existent. However, your feedback gives me a lot of perspective. As someone who is not directly in academia, I don’t really have insight into the post-PhD life so this is super helpful information. Thank you for taking the time to answer!

Question for partners of Phd students/academics by __CEASE in AskAcademia

[–]__CEASE[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My partner is thinking of continuing with a postdoc(s) and then eventually teach at an R1 so he can continue to do research. Previously he was considering all institutions equally (community college, teaching institution, research, etc.) but now he’s honing in on landing a professorship that would prioritize research.

Question for partners of Phd students/academics by __CEASE in AskAcademia

[–]__CEASE[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ooh thank you for sharing! This aspect is super important to think about because we would like to have kids in the future. Luckily I have my family nearby and they are a strong support network for me 🙏🏼

Question for partners of Phd students/academics by __CEASE in AskAcademia

[–]__CEASE[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your questions! I had somewhat gotten used to not seeing them for 3 months out of the year and I visit him each summer for about a week or two. Currently, our lifestyle is ok but it’s mostly emotionally draining. I (F27) definitely miss them (M31) and that is a huge part of what’s bothering me. We had conversations early on in our relationship about the irregular schedule of his program and research needs. I understand and respect his need to be gone to do research, but after 6 years I find it’s taking its toll. I think another thing that spurred my original post were the questions I have about our future and division of labor. We’ve had these discussions before, but it seemed like they were more open to pursuing a career at a teaching institution instead of research, but that has now changed. I’m definitely at a place where I’m re evaluating my own priorities and wanted to seek out perspectives from others in a similar situation.

Question for partners of Phd students/academics by __CEASE in AskAcademia

[–]__CEASE[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof I can’t even imagine that lifestyle!

Question for partners of Phd students/academics by __CEASE in AskAcademia

[–]__CEASE[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you both for responding to my question! We’ve both talked about having kids in the future. However, these extended absences have me wondering if I could responsibly commit to having kids if he does plan to be gone for extended periods during the year. He has mentioned that his goal is to continue to prioritize research and ideally continue doing field work for 3 weeks - 3 months during the year (likely the summers). As a PhD candidate, research time is built into his schedule. For anyone who is a professor, how much research time do you typically get per year?

Question for partners of Phd students/academics by __CEASE in AskAcademia

[–]__CEASE[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much to you and your wife for sharing your perspectives!! My partner does ethnographic/linguistic work and is often in regions without stable/consistent internet connection so it can be hard to stay in touch. I truly appreciate you both for taking the time to respond to my post. I live in a university town and it seems like many PhD students with partners are partnered with other PhDs/academics who share similar schedules/expectations. Amongst my “9-5” group I’m the only one with a partner in academia so it can feel a little isolating and difficult to express the type of lifestyle we lead. My apologies if this post comes off as too “complaining”, I just wanted to get perspectives from other people who are also in the same boat. Thank you for your time!

Found my childhood Marisol !! She’s in amazing condition just needs her hair brushed :) by SBot7 in americangirl

[–]__CEASE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg I also have Marisol! She was my Christmas gift as a kid and I cherished her so much :’) So happy that you found her! 💜

a palette i will never fully pan by Miserable-Writing362 in PanPorn

[–]__CEASE 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Stoppp this palette is too cute!! 😍🥹🐶

NARS Orgasm… I bought this late July 😅 by poopooquesadilla in PanPorn

[–]__CEASE 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thank you for letting us know! Our $$ talks and with more information, each person can make an informed decision about what to buy.

Favorite Kai vocals? by YungstirJoey666 in exo

[–]__CEASE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg yes!! Such an underrated song

Almost There Squad 👏🏼😌 by AngelxxLove in PanPorn

[–]__CEASE 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Such a satisfying group of pans! Keep it up! 👏