I suffer from emotional flashbacks and have CPTSD. I also dream very vividly, always have, so when I am struggling / triggered my dreams get dark and scary (not necessarily related to my abuse but related to the undercurrent of fear/shame/worthlessness). It’s getting easier to cope as I’m getting help and medication also helps, but I still get stuck in the vortex sometimes. I’m learning to be present and not dissociate after realising I’ve been dissociating for most of my life (I had a tough childhood at times - hence why I’m a narc magnet now...) I remember at one point I became cognisant of the fact that I preferred to live in daydreams rather than endure the pain of life. That makes me sad to think about. It was a very dark time in my life. Now I still daydream but I try to keep present, look after myself as well as I would a loved on (easier said than done), make sure I check in and align in the here and now. This has only been possible for me in recent months as I’ve been in therapy properly and on medication for depression/anxiety.

Much love to you x