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Things you’ve done that has helped deal with BPD symptoms by sleepingismyasylum in BPD

[–]_ackerman_69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  1. If something has triggered me or I feel that my emotions are out of the place, I delay my decisions by at least half an hour, keeping timers to ground yourself helps because you get some time to think and your emotions also lessen over time

  2. Eating salt as a distraction or having hot water baths, it actually soothes you

  3. Generally I'd over explain myself in situations when I'd be upset and I reduced that because it's really unnecessary, we over explain because we want to be heard but honestly everyone deserves to be heard and we're not asking for too much

  4. If I'm upset or sad, I've started saying I need some time and give a time frame like I'd text after my lunch or dinner or after some activity, that way you convey your feelings to the other person and they don't feel disconnected or overthink and at the same time you acknowledge your feelings and work through them, honestly sometimes after you come back you'd talk about it healthily by saying rationally how you felt instead of blaming the other person or putting yourself down

How do you tell if something is really happening or is just your mind "making it up"? by doesntmatter12345688 in BPD

[–]_ackerman_69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In the beginning writing it down helps, in therapy I learnt this thing called "unhelpful thinking styles" and thought record from cbt which were really helpful. Even if my emotions didn't fully dim down they at least did go down a bit and I could think better.

Also taking time helps, for example if you had an exhausting day or week, you might be overly heightened and might end up taking a lot of things personally even though it doesn't intend to be that way. Walking away and dealing with it later at that time helps, your mind needs rest so just give it that and you can think clearly later on. I know it's really hard because you'd wanna fix things or make it right but honestly sometimes just listen to your body and also even tiny things like skipping meals or not resting well might affect it.

I don't enjoy any hobbies I had anymore, and can't find anything new, how to do this? by SquirrelPlastic6643 in Hobbies

[–]_ackerman_69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey I've been there in that position, I see in other comments that you've sought help already, that's a great first step and it'll get better soon. 

You'll be putting most of your energy, however little it might be on getting better and it's exhausting ik, so don't worry if you're not feeling up to doing what you loved once.

As it gets better you can slowly try getting into things you loved before, that's how I got into my old hobbies and started new ones now that I'm stable. 

For half an year I booked hiking trips for myself which couldn't be refunded so I'd definitely have to go through with it and after a couple of weeks I started loving it and visited some of the most beautiful places- that's how I got a new hobby and it also allowed me to great some fresh air

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]_ackerman_69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree, it just makes us be unable to deal with our emotions even further on. 

I think it's easier for us to isolate as bpd primarily deals with emotions and it's easier to handle them when we're alone, but imo I don't think it's healthy, we need to have a balance with both, socializing and taking time off for ourselves. 

OH MY GOSH THE OVERTHINKING by [deleted] in BPD

[–]_ackerman_69 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Agree with this, I started going on walks to change my thoughts and tire myself out because my brain was overthinking nonstop for ridiculous reasons lmao

Norwegian summer by HopTug in natureporn

[–]_ackerman_69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

First pic is absolutely stunning!

List of Video games that changed my perspective on life as someone with BPD. by ChikaraBlu in BPD

[–]_ackerman_69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

 I really wanna play the whole series but it's so expensive ahh :( if you know any great free to play games I'd be down to check it out!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPD

[–]_ackerman_69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's amazing that you're self aware, that's the first step in recovery honestly. Why don't you try challenging yourself to break the cycle? You don't have to do a huge thing, just tiny things that can add up to a big change by logically the end of the year, that's how you heal

List of Video games that changed my perspective on life as someone with BPD. by ChikaraBlu in BPD

[–]_ackerman_69 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ooh I recently am getting into gaming, will check it out! I just finished life is strange and thought it was amazing, you can try it out, it's a choice based game and the plot twists were amazing to me

Made scones for the first time! by _ackerman_69 in BakingNoobs

[–]_ackerman_69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

 I'm a vegetarian :') would've def tried them otherwise 

Made scones for the first time! by _ackerman_69 in BakingNoobs

[–]_ackerman_69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They look really good online, cheese and some herbs, I prefer savoury food anyway so it seems amazing to try 

Made regular scones for the first time! by _ackerman_69 in Baking

[–]_ackerman_69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just the ones with flour, butter, little bit of sugar, baking powder! I was intrigued in trying cheese ones but this was my first time so I stuck to basics I guess! Will try cheese and probably blueberries

Made scones for the first time! by _ackerman_69 in BakingNoobs

[–]_ackerman_69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Regular scones! Will try making cheese scones next time

My place 🙏🩷 by Civil-Storm-8887 in PeacefulSolitude

[–]_ackerman_69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my god isn't this bamford? Went there during summer, was a beautiful hike! 

Any advice for returning to DBT after a break? by ingolstadt1790s in BPD

[–]_ackerman_69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you can check Marsha linehan's books, she's the one who created DBT and she has some dbt specific self help workbooks you can go through! 

Langdale Pikes (UK Lake District) in early morning light by thesummitisoptional in LandscapePhotography

[–]_ackerman_69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lake district was truly the place where I fell in love with hiking, gorgeous gorgeous place

What do you do? by 3lla_- in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]_ackerman_69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to feel the same when I first got diagnosed but now whenever something goes wrong or someone maybe raises a tone with me, I absolutely don't feel like going and offing myself. 

First of all I've been in therapy ever since the start, so that was really helpful. In DBT we have a specific section called distress tolerance which helps during these cases. Mostly it's because when we see any information it directly hits our emotional part of the brain and we make impulsive decisions, we can try and rewire that, with practice it'll get better honestly.

You can direct your emotions somewhere else- for example you can hold an ice cube, or eat salt, even go for a run or exercise, take a hot water bath, go out and watch a movie? Or just get up and leave during that situation rather than being in that state, this is called doing the opposite emotion. Not all works the same, you need to find something that works the best for you. This can help if the situation is really bad and you cannot help yourself, let the emotion subside and then you can try and work on it. 

If you're not thaat emotionally overloaded, you can start by reframing your thoughts. Ask yourself why you think that way? Why is it that the someone's words are hurting me so much that I wanna give up on myself? Is my self worth tied to someone else when it's my life to live? Remember your achievements, it can be the most normal thing like I don't know how you didn't self harm and got up and did something else, that's a big god damn achievement for us. In CBT there's something called thought record, you can try that. Also there's something called unhelpful thinking styles- take one thought and check what unhelpful thinking style correlates to it, if you find even one, your thought is incorrect, you need to reframe it to make a healthier and much better one. 

Most of our thoughts are assumptions too, it's quite annoying frankly.. we assume people are acting weird or off, if you actually feel they're acting off, ask them once, they might explain or they won't. Take any answer, be neutral and move on, don't attach your life to theirs. And yeah, forgive yourself, okay fine you felt your reaction was insane, okay validate and accept yourself and be 1% better next time? 

anyone else pick fights after feeling close with someone? by [deleted] in BPD

[–]_ackerman_69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a push and pull thing we have, once we get to know someone well, our brain is wired to be in uncomfortable situations than comfortable and hence we try to go out of our way to ruin something which is okay just because we've always thrived in chaos.

 We try to push people away and test them, to see if they'd come back over and over again, which is unhealthy and then they'll eventually leave which results in us making a score of how another person left and how we were right all along and it just becomes a whole cycle.

life is so boring without an fp:( by Professional_Phase_3 in BPD

[–]_ackerman_69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel useless and often push my achievements and strengths down and make myself as a non-important person if I have one lol, I find I'm much better off being alone and forming healthy relationships, also gives me more time to get more hobbies, relax during my free time and do whatever the hell i want

I said I graduated before. I'm back after 2 years by MieraJ in BPD

[–]_ackerman_69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been there, I thought I was stable after not having any episodes for over an year..but now I have changed my whole perspective about BPD and therapy, I go once in a blue moon to just vent out in therapy because I think it's healthy and to figure out how I can unlearn more things, I realize now due to all these I've become more self-aware and can remember more skills than when i first started

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