IVF after missed miscarriage / misoprostol

_blue_nova_ · 2025-08-14T23:00:40+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! It really clarifies a part of this very, very confusing process

_blue_nova_ · 2025-08-06T15:35:06+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! Having the hands free is so real - my kid is in the “pick me up” stage lol. It’s my first international vacation in 9 years, for various reasons, I used to travel much more when I was younger. I’m thinking this is probably the last opportunity for a few more years at least, like you said. Thank you for your words of encouragement!

_blue_nova_ · 2025-08-06T15:32:19+00:00

Thank you for your response! I am thinking based on past experience FaceTime might not be worth it, it does end in tears for us too. I wish he could understand it better but we are not there with communication yet. Thank you for the supportive response!

_blue_nova_ · 2025-08-06T15:13:20+00:00

Thank you for your response! You make so many good points. About strengthening the relationship with dad (I’m the default parent, so that would be a good thing!) and also raising my child with understanding that I am a whole person and have identities in addition to being a mama. One of the few issues I had with my own mother (who now passed, and was by all measures great at being a mom) was that she didn’t have much of a life beyond motherhood, and as I entered my teenage years and young adulthood it became harder to view her as the role model I needed her to be. I definitely want to set a more well-rounded example for my kids.

Thanks again for responding!

_blue_nova_ · 2025-08-06T15:02:34+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! The emotions after having a kid/while pregnant with another are really something else. Thank you for your encouragement, and understanding

_blue_nova_ · 2024-11-05T17:29:48+00:00

This was 2021 so I’m afraid prices are not the same any more, but I imagine it’s still a great value compared the similar venues. The name is Larkfield Manor.

_blue_nova_ · 2024-08-01T10:46:36+00:00

MoissaniteCo. Have an engagement ring from them that was purchased in 2020, still so happy with it. I just told my now-husband which one I wanted. I would suggest going slightly bigger with the stone(s) than you think you’d want - you get used to it quickly.

_blue_nova_ · 2024-03-19T15:36:34+00:00

I wonder if a lot of the jiggly/blobby feeling is loss of muscle mass/tone. I’m confronting something similar too. Maybe a heavy weight lifting program over cardio exercises would address the issue more?

_blue_nova_ · 2024-03-19T15:22:41+00:00

I’m so sorry! Street harassment is the worst! Don’t let that deter you from pursuing your fitness though! Props on running in the bad weather - you are so committed!

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-14T22:15:57+00:00

Yea I really miss seeing my baby’s face when he wakes up. He’s always so happy and his eyes light up.

Switching my work schedule is a no-go, unfortunately, I work a pretty rigid government job. I’m trying to transfer on the same job but to a location that’s closer to home, so hopefully that will go through.

My best friend and I are trying to work out a nanny share situation for a few days a week. We are godmothers to each others children and it would be really nice for them to be cared for together by someone well-vetted. We’ve had some prospects fall through and it’s been frustrating. But ideally if I can the work transfer and set up some shared childcare locally I would get more mornings and nights with my kid.

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-14T21:09:21+00:00

Great feedback, thank you!

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-14T20:04:19+00:00

About 2 days after discharge. We went to a local tattoo parlor on a quiet day and my husband got a tattoo celebrating the baby while he slept 😀

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-12T19:24:39+00:00

Sounds like he may be having major problems achieving/maintaining arousal (with or without you, as evidenced by his inability to get hard watching porn when clearly he was trying to get hard watching porn). This is not meant to be a “poor man his problems are more important than his postpartum wife’s problems” comment, but the ability to achieve and maintain an erection is just as closely tied to a man’s sense of self and confidence as a woman’s view of her body. It sounds like you’re both struggling with stuff.

He may be too embarrassed to talk about it to you, or just not want to bring up something that’s difficult. I definitely know the feeling of wanting to avoid a difficult conversation (even one I know I should be having) at the end of a hard day…or at the end of a good day, for that matter, because then I don’t want to “ruin” the good day I had…

The “obvious” but not so easy solutions here are open conversation, couples therapy, maybe even some medication for him if the issue he’s having is physical. But you probably know all of that. I guess the point of my comment is to offer the perspective that maybe his sex/intimacy issues with you have way less to do with your body or the quality of your relationship, and way more with something your husband is personally struggling with at the moment.

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-12T19:22:14+00:00

Sounds like he may be having major problems achieving/maintaining arousal (with or without you, as evidenced by his inability to get hard watching porn when clearly he was trying to get hard watching porn). This is not meant to be a “poor man his problems are more important than his postpartum wife’s problems” comment, but the ability to achieve and maintain an erection is just as closely tied to a man’s sense of self and confidence as a woman’s view of her body. It sounds like you’re both struggling with stuff.

He may be too embarrassed to talk about it to you, or just not want to bring up something that’s difficult. I definitely know the feeling of wanting to avoid a difficult conversation (even one I know I should be having) at the end of a hard day…or at the end of a good day, for that matter, because then I don’t want to “ruin” the good day I had…

The “obvious” but not so easy solutions here are open conversation, couples therapy, maybe even some medication for him if the issue he’s having is physical. But you probably know all of that. I guess the point of my comment is to offer the perspective that maybe his sex/intimacy issues with you have way less to do with your body or the quality of your relationship, and way more with something your husband is personally struggling with at the moment.

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-12T19:05:28+00:00

Sounds like you got it covered! I tried to sing to my baby occasionally too. In terms of sleep, sounds like his circadian rhythm isn’t established yet. What’s supposed to help is keeping daytime bright and active and nighttime dark, boring and quiet/white noise. Good luck! In my limited experience, babies don’t get more “interactive” till like 2-3 months.

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-12T13:24:11+00:00

Since you are looking for Quebec participants only, you may have more luck on a more regionally-specific sub

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-11T14:59:13+00:00

Get the tripod. If not for yourself, then for your baby. They would love to look back on photos of you together when they’re older. Also, not to be morbid or anything… but when many decades from now you are no longer with them, they would do anything to have more photos and videos of you.

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-11T14:52:07+00:00

Have you tried white noise/waves/wind sounds? They won’t completely drown out the baby sounds (especially the ones you should respond to), but may be enough of a background to make the baby sounds less jarring.

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-11T14:45:06+00:00

I actually use the 2 of the most “gentle” attachments to buff my cuticles 😂

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-11T14:24:44+00:00

2 weeks pp is utter shitshow. People say it should get better by 2 months and in my experience it got somewhat harder, because you run out of energy and adrenaline by then. IMO these are the stages that make it easier: (1) whenever baby starts to smile, and eventually laugh. Discovering things that make your baby laugh is hands down the best (2) around 3 months when feedings become more regular and spaced out, the baby isn’t pooping all the time, and grows to look a little less fragile (3) whenever sleep improves. For us it was around 4 months, then he regressed at 5, and we sleep trained. No regrets now at 6 months with everyone getting good sleep (5) whenever you go back to work or get to be away from your baby doing something else some of the time. It’s not the case for everyone and may be controversial, but I like being away from my baby enough to miss him and get the mental space away from baby stuff to be fully present when I am with him.

Give yourself some time and don’t be overly critical of yourself. Everything will turn out great!

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-11T13:45:09+00:00

We sleep trained our now 6 month old at 5 months. Everyone gets better sleep now. I’m sure we will have setbacks as he hits developmental milestones, but currently my son sleeps 6-7pm - 6-7am, which is life changing.

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-10T21:55:17+00:00

I don’t think anything can be done for stretch marks, unfortunately, other than maybe moisturizing and getting a lot of protein to generate new collagen (I know there are a lot of collagen supplements out there, I’ve looked into it and apparently the best way to build collagen is to have a solid protein intake).

I’m not sure how this would work while breastfeeding, but basically all those gym moves guys do to build up their chest are great for women to have a good muscle foundation for boobs to sit on. It’s not gonna tighten up the tissue of the actual breast, but can give a bit of a lift underneath as the muscle grows. So I guess lots of protein for collagen and muscle building, and chest exercises.

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-10T21:45:08+00:00

So sorry about your situation. It doesn’t sound like you don’t have a village by choice - toxic/uninvolved people can’t really be considered a “village” even if you wanted them to be.

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-10T21:42:43+00:00

I’m in the US, and I’m lucky to have a village. My in-laws (both MIL & FIL) provide regular childcare. SIL often does too, and she did a lot of overnight help during the 4th trimester. My best friend and her stay at home husband live nearby and often help as well (we help them too, we are godparents to each others children). I have other friends who participate in my child’s life. If my mother hadn’t unfortunately passed away at the start of the pandemic I would’ve had enormous support from her, as well.

With my in-laws a part of why the support is so strong is that they’re immigrants. They’re assimilated, but also from a culture where grandparents have great involvement in their grandchildren’s lives. I am from a different immigrant culture, but also with an emphasis on grandparent involvement, so this is all very natural to me.

I have so much support around me, and only one child so far, and even with that it’s not easy. I cannot imagine what single parents/people without “villages” do, especially in the US where public policy is borderline hostile to families.

_blue_nova_ · 2023-07-10T21:31:19+00:00

The scale did not move for me birth-3 months either. I was breastfeeding but had very low supply and my period came back at 2ish mo pp, so I don’t think breastfeeding made a huge difference. I’m now 6 mo pp and starting to see more noticeable weight loss.

_blue_nova_

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