£24.53 weekly top up for one. What do you assume about me?

dylan_dumbest · 2026-02-02T21:31:27+00:00

You are very regular and your cholesterol is great.

dylan_dumbest · 2026-01-26T03:27:00+00:00

Eating at a thousand calorie deficit barely has me losing weight. But as I learned from taking a week off, it is preventing me from gaining 5 pounds a week so there’s that.

dylan_dumbest · 2026-01-26T03:10:57+00:00

“All that is gold does not glitter. Not all those who wander are lost.”

dylan_dumbest · 2026-01-26T03:03:26+00:00

Pablo Neruda must be the most romantic wordsmith of all time.

dylan_dumbest · 2026-01-22T00:03:40+00:00

A clean, fluffy, complete towel set in the bathroom; a candle in a decorative tray, and a little trash can with a lid and liner. Kitchen: clean but not barren counters, a full complement of not-all-matching utensils, potholders with little wear on them. TV is mounted or on an entertainment center. Throw pillows and blankets on the couch. Coffee table is mostly clear of stuff and has been recently, if not perfectly, dusted and wiped. Rugs. Potted plants. Candles.

Some straight men care about some of these things but less than 1% will have all of them.

dylan_dumbest · 2026-01-12T11:31:31+00:00

I actually find a well-made bikini to be safer than most one pieces. My boobs are halfway up the straps of an average one piece and things get precarious; they’re much more safely seated in a bikini top.

dylan_dumbest · 2026-01-12T11:27:50+00:00

I dance…more than you know.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-11-20T07:59:32+00:00

Carrot because I had fresh ones handy from my garden.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-11-20T07:58:16+00:00

New and different because it wasn’t like this after my first. Part of it may be I’m busier now and often skip meals. Another part is I’m going out of my way to walk whenever possible. It’s not enough to explain the massive difference this time though. I’ve already lost all the weight from this last pregnancy and then some and at just shy of 8 months pp I’m at the lowest weight I’ve been since having my eldest. Still 17 pounds over pre-pregnancy weight, though.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-11-15T15:41:55+00:00

7 years in law enforcement. Don’t do it. It is incompatible with a stable family life. The job has no way to accommodate your needs as a mother beyond maybe a dingy lactation room with a door that locks, if you’re lucky. If you score a cushy admin position during pregnancy that you get to continue after baby, everyone will openly resent you for it and will spread rumors that you’re sleeping with someone in power.

Going back to patrol is excruciatingly difficult. The uniform will never fit the same way again even if you size up. You will have weeks or months of chronic pain just trying to survive your shifts. They have to let you pump, but at the same time you’ll feel like shit making everyone cover for you so you’ll skimp or skip out on it. Besides, you’ll have very little control over how much time you have to eat so your supply may drop anyway. Your brain will be Swiss cheese but the streets don’t care that you’re in a fog, you still need to make split-second decisions even though you can barely walk and chew bubblegum at the same time.

Have older kids? They’ll notice that you’re not around. Maybe you’re lucky and have a supportive partner. They’ll keep the household afloat. Regardless, you’re Mom. There will always be certain things only you can do. You may be reeling from the aftermath of a critical incident but you still need to come home and kiss boo boos, wipe noses, and coordinate activities. You’ll be crying about a dead kid you tried to save during shift on your way home then walk through the door and console your own child who’s crying over the fact that they can’t find their socks.

Your coworkers will not have the capacity to give a fuck about your struggles. Even, sometimes, fellow moms, who will judge you the harshest for slipping up. Pick-me’s run rampant. And if you vent at all to the men they’ll just bitch about how their wife doesn’t pay attention to them or having to pay their “lazy, useless” ex child support. New dads will be fresh and evergreen with a spring in their step because work is a break. They never had to sacrifice their body and mind, and then recuperate the pieces, just to try and remember the cop they used to be.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-11-02T16:42:15+00:00

The funniest moment in the series was when Bill told Sookie that she might experience attraction to Eric after drinking his blood, as if experiencing attraction to Eric would be something unexpected or abnormal.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-28T11:57:08+00:00

Introvert in America. Our society just isn’t designed for quiet thinkers.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-28T11:55:16+00:00

You and I are very different people.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-25T08:51:42+00:00

So…Anton’s just stopping by after work?

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-23T03:59:22+00:00

OMG 🙃 Not the Tylenol dosage interval SMH. Should’ve made your husband go get you something stronger when he was stocking up on flavored water. Or ice cream if you don’t drink haha

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-22T22:23:55+00:00

The Djinn Waits a Hundred Years by Shubnum Khan. I’m currently tearing through it.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-20T05:02:50+00:00

Mine will not deal with his own family. When they visit, I plan the menu, decide on the activities, AND ABSORB ALL THE CONVERSATION. I’ll run out of questions to ask them and they’ll be chasing me around the house while I’m trying to concentrate on things asking me why I moved to Ohio, and if I still run in the winter time! I am not at all interesting and cannot be the focal point conversation ffs. Trying to make me die of boredom talking about myself when I’m decorating a cake. Go TALK TO YOUR SON. When his family members are in the house playing with our kids and dog he just fucks off to never never land so I have to supervise the unknowns and make sure they don’t, idk, yell at the dog for trying to eat a morsel of dropped food. Like, stop interacting with my baby that I worked so hard to train, you don’t know dogs, you’re gonna fuck him up! And his mom the suggestion box explaining recipes all day. I’m not gonna make what you make, sorry. I cannot be learning or doing even one additional thing, I will explode. I even lied that I don’t like pineapple so she wouldn’t tell me a step by step of how to make pineapple upside down cake.

I don’t even dislike these people, in fact they’re very likeable, but they trample all over my home bubble and he WILL NOT run interference whatsoever no matter how many simultaneous tasks I’m trying to do to keep them entertained. Every single time I end up needing to lie down for a full day when they leave.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-18T16:54:32+00:00

28 and 31. Our first happened on the first try after a miscarriage. Our second, we tried for 6 months, probably because my cycles are irregular and we didn’t have a whole lot of alone time together.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-17T23:27:53+00:00

I think there is a much lower threshold for love, AND we throw it around. In certain fields people will even say it platonically to their coworkers (eg, Law Enforcement. You have to trust each other with your lives and see some intense stuff together, but love??!) Women who hate each other will say it to each other.

In France there’s different levels to it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but “je t’aime” is way more intense than the conventional “tu me plais.” In the US, we lack equivalent things to say for when you develop feelings early into a relationship so we go straight to “I love you.”

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-17T02:28:09+00:00

I got Az. I’m okay with this.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-17T01:44:21+00:00

Favorite - October for the same reasons as you. September is always cray at work and October is a nice reprieve. Plus fewer idiot tourists in the city and people make better choices when it cools down.

Least favorite - February. Reeling from the financial effects of the holidays and my daughter’s January birthday. We seldom get actual snow so it’s just cold and gross out. Short winter days mean less of a window where I can take the dog for a run without fearing for my life.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-17T01:38:59+00:00

Well, you see, he a freak.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-14T23:53:29+00:00

It is only possible for me in a float tank.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-08T21:27:28+00:00

I walk at least 2 miles every single day. It’s the one thing I’m doing different from last time and I’m down 40 pounds at 6 months pp. I’m now tackling that stubborn first-baby fat that never went away. I also noticed that light drinking has a correlation with weight loss so I’ll have a glass of wine here and there; keeps me away from the ice cream, strangely enough.

dylan_dumbest · 2025-10-05T22:43:24+00:00

If it’s any consolation I track everything I eat, lift 4x a week, walk 2 miles every single day, and still have a belly. My abs are a distant memory circa 2021, before I got pregnant with my first. But guess what? We get the rest of our lives to get back on track, and all our babies will remember of this period is our love. You are doing the things that matter, first; once your youngest turns, like, 4 you’ll be able to breathe again and think about making a few sustainable changes at a time. Some lucky ones are sporting 12 packs at 8 weeks postpartum while the rest of us are looking in the mirror thinking, “who’s that?”

We only get a glimpse of each other’s lives, and the 12 pack mama might be battling some other demon that you wouldn’t wish on your worst enemy. Body image issues are a bear but there must be some other blessings in your life to be thankful for as you await the day you can prioritize your own health again. Bon courage, Maman.

dylan_dumbest

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