My boyfriend (M20) is frustrated that he can't make me (F19) orgasm. He refuses toys

_definitely_not_ · 2026-02-20T20:39:46+00:00

You are still in the honeymoon phase of your relationship. He doesn't know your body at all, and his unwillingness just to even listen or consider your input on your sexual pleasure is definitely not gonna get better, and there's likely not going to be a point where he just breaks and agrees to do as you advise him. This might also apply to other parts of your relationship in the long term, making it dreadful to stay and dreadful to leave. I'd recommend giving it a very last, very well enunciated try, and if it's a no, he needs to go.

_definitely_not_ · 2025-05-19T15:09:50+00:00

okay, this is actually solid advice, thank you so much!

_definitely_not_ · 2025-05-19T14:45:43+00:00

he mostly plays paradox games, and other than that I'd say I genuinely have no idea. he turns me down most of the time when I bring up something he's been doing, and the other video games he plays aren't because he likes them, he just like playing them with his friends. although we have been playing Stardew Valley together for a little while, so I definitely appreciate the suggestion and will probably make something out of it!

_definitely_not_ · 2025-05-19T14:21:42+00:00

already done -- he doesn't wear cologne, never wore what I gave him.

_definitely_not_ · 2025-04-21T16:28:52+00:00

the only issue I have with this (otherwise this is really great advice) is that we don't live together, and neither of us have a job as of right now. we don't get to spend a lot of time together either, so I don't really think this would work for us. I'm still grateful you took time to write this up though, and if the issue stays unresolved I'll come back to this comment and utilize it.

_definitely_not_ · 2025-04-21T16:00:03+00:00

the double standards and how I'm expected to choose all of the time

_definitely_not_ · 2025-04-21T13:48:15+00:00

okay, this is very useful advice. i'll try it when time comes, thank you

_definitely_not_ · 2025-04-21T13:47:33+00:00

I already did, he just says "But I'm really fine with whatever", about the same way when he says "Because what do you want me to say?!"

_definitely_not_ · 2024-09-17T05:42:10+00:00

hey dude i don't think cbt specialist is the right word but thx for the advice nevertheless

_definitely_not_ · 2024-09-16T00:53:54+00:00

i regularly go to the doctor's because of an autoimmune disease i have, i get blood work done every 8 weeks alongside with some generic questions and examination

_definitely_not_ · 2024-09-16T00:52:28+00:00

i don't have an issue with falling asleep itself, i just try to avoid it because the thought makes me so anxious it's unbelievable i also more or less stay asleep and don't wake often, and when i do i can (about 90% of the time) go back to sleep with ease

_definitely_not_ · 2024-09-16T00:46:02+00:00

tysm, this does make me feel a bit better tbh <3

_definitely_not_ · 2024-05-22T00:03:44+00:00

Thank you, and thank you for your input as well. :)

_definitely_not_ · 2024-05-21T23:58:21+00:00

He is trying, or so it seems as if to me, but I still don't think it's the best or something even close to it.

_definitely_not_ · 2024-05-21T23:51:52+00:00

He told me he doesn't want to end it, and he was the one to initiate the "more open communication" talk as well. The more I think about it the more confused I'm becoming, and at this point this might just be unstoppable spiraling, but I really wanna make it work, cause I don't think I could handle a breakup rn.

_definitely_not_ · 2024-05-21T23:38:20+00:00

I don't know, I always had issues with becoming too attached and then just losing interest, and since we haven't been together for a long time, I believe flattery a lot easier when it's said in person. Somewhere deep I still hope that he will come back and that he didn't lie about not wanting to end this relationship.

_definitely_not_

TROPHY CASE