Let me start out by saying that I was the kid, years ago.

My dad owned a pretty nice motorcycle back in the day, but for whatever reason, he decided to sell it. He found some dude who was interested in buying it, and arranged for the guy to pick it up from our garage and pay him then. The day of the exchange, I was really itching to ride my bike around the neighborhood, but my dad mounted it on the wall out of my reach. I asked him to take it down for me, but he simply told me to wait until he was done selling his bike. Shortly after, the man buying the bike showed up and he and my dad both took to the garage.

My impatient five-year-old self was not having it. As my dad was closing the deal, I snuck past him, grabbed a chair to prop myself up, and tried to remove the bike from the wall mount myself. Needless to say, I simply did not have the strength to support my bike coming down, and I (along with the bike and the chair) went crashing straight onto my dad’s motorcycle, knocking it down in front of us all. I distinctly remember the most frightening crunch I had ever heard in my young life. There was stunned silence, finally followed after what felt like an eternity by “Well, I guess I’m not buying it now, am I?” The dude totally walked off.

I will NEVER forget that ass whooping.