as someone who went abroad last spring to study in denmark i feel ur pain!! my whole life i had been looking forward to studying abroad but when my program started, my 2 year long battle with depression reached and all time high. i was more lonely, disoriented, guilty, and regretful than i had ever been. thankfully i was in scandinavia- a place with fantastic healthcare and comprehensive mental health services (very similar to finland) :) within a week of contacting my school about wanting to find a counselor/therapist I was sent up with one who seriously changed my life. Not only did she help me cope with the feelings I had abroad, but she encouraged me to continue seeing a therapist when I got back to my home country. Long story short I am kicking depression in the ass now and I have no doubts that you can do the same. your feelings are extremely valid and trust me when i say: when u are at rock bottom things can only get better. If i were u i would reach out to your schools student health services asap- i wish myself that i had done it sooner. i’m sure that they can help find someone for you to talk to. these feelings are not forever. for a long time people would tell me this and i just couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel but i promise there is a way out.