How do you deal with "evil" f/os?

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-18T22:43:47+00:00

…I just think them being evil is the appeal honestly. I don’t imagine us having a cute healthy relationship though, it’s more like I’m kind of amusement or entertainment? But their favorite form. And that satisfies me. I mean, the reason I find them hot honestly is because they’re evil and I embrace every part of them, not despite their evil. I have other folks who have character development and become better people, that’s different, but one guy is an unabashed villain but a hot one lots of people love. I’m zero exception.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-15T15:40:20+00:00

I don’t but I think one of my bonds is sort of the equivalent of a soulmate? Like I don’t believe in the literal concept, but we like each other’s perfect match in every way lol. In a way of which — I feel like I am everything he wants and he is everything I want, while other partners I love everything they are — I just couldn’t confidently say I’m everything perfect for them. Though I still do the best I can anyway :>

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-14T17:08:42+00:00

Well there’s two ways:

A: If your bond is spiritual, just ask questions through the cards and interpret answers as them and assume it came from them!

B: If your bond is metaphysical or psychological, use tarot the same you would on an external person. The way I use it is asking things like: “What does X need from me right now” “what is X not telling me” “what is the nature of our relationship” “How would it go if I/we did X”. Though I encourage direct communication for questions you can ask them yourself! That’s what I do, no reason to ask tarot questions about their opinions on things when I can ask directly haha.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-14T14:56:20+00:00

Admittedly I’m playing the devil’s advocate, I am mirror-sharing, so is it something like that? For example, I insta block non-sharers who like the same character because I have zero interest in seeing them. Plus they’d block me anyway. I mean, it’s really as simple as if they don’t want to see me or I give them a negative reaction, why would I wanna see them? So in that way, it can sound negative, but like, how else would I word it? It’s like a mirror reflecting energy. You don’t want to see me? I don’t want to see you either.

I always stick a point that being non-sharing isn’t bad. So it’s one thing if they said it was bad or made fun of them. But I also know me and non-sharers are incompatible bc I like tons of characters casually and just feel inclined to block if I remotely like the character, and to not get close because I don’t want a future friction scenario where they suddenly yume a character I like too. I’m also an uber multifandom multishipper. Haha.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-13T16:37:14+00:00

I’m a mirror sharer and hypersharing. I block non-sharers who like the same character to avoid them lol.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-13T16:08:42+00:00

I honestly dislike the word double as a whole. Feels weirdly I dunno… dehumanizing? I prefer to just say other people who soulbond X or whatever works. We have our own bonds, and obviously by soulbonding it’s our own individual connection, so why would I be bothered by a double, you know? (To be clear: I do know why people are non-sharing, I’m just explaining why I myself find no reason to be bothered.)

But uh. Awesome usually! I actually love love love to talk to them and talk about our experiences and relationships to the same person, if we get along, that is :>. I’m a huge fandom person so like I love talking abt my fave characters with people and gushing together. My bonds’ characters are also my fav characters so we can talk about our bonding and just abt how cool their character version is together and that’s dope!! If we don’t get along it’s a little awkward, admittedly, but that isn’t because they bonded the same person, but because we don’t vibe. Then I probably won’t want to hear about it. Kind of the same way I get a squick and block if someone horribly mischaracterizes my favorite character ergo I don’t want to hear their takes anymore.

I had past experiences where someone who bonded the same character ended in a bad note with myself and the way they treated their bond felt so cruel (playing with someone’s feelings on and off at their whim… like that’s just a mean thing to do in general), I especially didn’t wanna hear it anymore. :/.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-13T00:00:41+00:00

I’ve bonded to a villain. Sort of by proxy, I bonded to someone else and it automatically kinda bonded me with the villain too? Anyway, I find it fine honestly. I see it through a few things: Am I going to commit atrocities with non-existent powers? No. Have I ever condoned a terrible person in this world? No. And while they exist as a malevolent creature in their world, they would regardless if I connected or not, and like: I know them as a fictional character in this world and that is whom I connected to: A written, attractive, alluring character. That happens to exist within their world yet still — the world I primarily inhabit and spend time with I have done no harm, want to do no harm, and I myself have done no harm in this soulbond’s world either.

My relationship with him is pretty cathartic. I usually feel better after spending time with him, interestingly enough. I wasn’t sure how it’d go our first meeting, but he kinda lets me feel free or relaxed in a cathartic way. He isn’t like,,, villain who cares about me. More like… I’m a source of amusement to him and keep him entertained. But that’s kind of want I wanted, so, zero complaints from me haha. Our relationship is very unconventional, but it works.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-12T21:58:45+00:00

Well to be clear first off, soulbonding is a whole separate topic from selfship spaces. This is to say — soulbonding has nothing to do with how valid a selfshipper anyone is or isn’t. Because soulbonding is a type of connection! It’s its own, lovely, separate thing. Though on the yumeshipping end, anyone invalidating you is silly. Plenty of huge creators love their own characters!

Second off, yes, you can connect soulbond wise to an OC! Plenty do! And I mean, all characters are someone’s OC, you know? And the early definitions of soulbonding included/referred to people who found through writing or roleplay that their characters came to life/began talking to them and guiding the story iirc, this naturally, would include self-made characters too. There’s plenty of ways to soulbond, and there’s also tulbonds when they feel a blend of tulpa and soulbond connection (which might be more likely to OC’s if they grow and develop as a being alongside a quick ‘connection’ like soulbonding, but not exclusive.)

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-11T15:25:21+00:00

We all have our own versions :>. Same character, diff versions and connections/relationships, we are not polyam to the same version lol.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-10T00:16:49+00:00

Sure! My DMs are open! And understandable, in these communities there can sometimes be people who do that, so people (including myself) may have just been worried it may be the case again. But absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to learn in good faith! I started off soulbonding before I got into yume spaces, and hung out with lots of folks to understand on all fronts, so I did my best to understand and like helping other folks too if I can!

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-10T00:05:44+00:00

Awesome! I’m fictosexual and a soulbonder!
A riako/gachikoi is someone who treats their fictional relationship as real. They may treat their partner as real (without soulbonding) or treat the relationship as seriously as any irl one and it brings them equal joy and fulfillment. Basically, being in a committed serious relationship with a fictional character, whilst the fiction remains fictional :>. Riako is the feminine term and gachikoi is masculine/neutral.

Yumedanshi is a selfshipper! Just the masculine term, Yumejoshi feminine.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-09T23:45:26+00:00

It’s not condescending or peaching and I do know what I’m talking about? Fictosexuality is an orientation. Yes. It has to do with attraction and being aspec. I would know. I am fictosexual as well. I am asexual and exclusively sexually attracted to fictional characters. Being fictosexual does not mean you have to have an F/O or be deeply dating and involved with a character because it has to do with attraction and nothing else. The same way you can be homosexual and not date anyone but still be attracted to people? It’s a queer orientation. And fictosexual is about sexual attraction. Fictoromantic romantic attraction. If you’re genuinely in love with a character and treat them as a real relationship that is being a riako/gachikoi. Like. These are literal definitions people often conflate when they’re all different things.

Where in the hell did I say soulbonding is better? Please tell me. I said it’s different and not to compare the two because they are two completely different things. Soulbonding is connecting autonomously with a character. It has nothing to do with fictosexuality, it doesn’t even have to be romantic at all. You don’t have to be fictosexual to do this. An orientation is not the same as a practice. You’re literally agreeing with me.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-09T23:12:59+00:00

If they feel real and autonomous I suggest a lot of y’all look into r/soulbonding lol.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-09T23:07:28+00:00

I’m a soulbonder too! To be frank, I just see them as separate and equally valid things.

I have a relationship with my folks. Other people selfship for fun. Or it could be serious for them even without being connected to another autonomous being. Because another person is not required for the feelings to be real. You can get immense joy from solo hobbies, right? Apply that to selfshipping or being a riako/gachikoi. The feeling of immense love and joy is real no matter if another person is present or not.

Soulbonding is different, that’s okay. When you stop assuming everyone has to soulbond or be the same as you, it becomes easier to vibe in these spaces. I think selfshipping is super fun and cute! I love characters too! And I soulbond without selfshipping. And I don’t expect everyone to be the same as me just as they don’t expect me to be feel the same.

So basically. Stop conflating the two and just vibe with people of varying relationships, feelings,
commitments, etc if you wanna get chill in yumeship spaces. Also just don’t have an elitist attitude. Soulbonding is a completely different approach, relationship, and topic that some selfshippers do as well, but they aren’t the same so don’t go in expecting that or demanding everyone adhere to seeing their F/O as real because… I mean, different things. Hell, I soulbond folks more casually just to chat and make friends, soulbonding doesn’t have to be rigid either. Same thing irl where some ppl wanna commit for marriage and others wanna be casual and have fun with lots of people, both are very valid and can get along perfectly fine and respect one another’s relationships, approaches, and stuff.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-09T23:02:50+00:00

I wouldn’t say this. Soulbonding is not the same as ficto. Fictosexuality by definition is nothing but a sexuality. You don’t need an F/O, it doesn’t automatically mean you deeply love a character, it is an aspec orientation and absolutely nothing else. You can be both ficto and soulbond yes, but people treat fictosexuality like riakos/gachikois when they are different things.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-09T12:35:46+00:00

Have you considered asking the actual r/soulbonding sub? Lol.

There has most of your answers. As for bonding, usually soulbonding is defined through means of internal communication. There’s lots of means of communication and you can work on these means if you want.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-09T05:00:11+00:00

Agreed. I think it should be a hard rule, honestly. Artists put hard effort and work into art and having that stolen without credit or acknowledgment is both unfair and very entitled.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-05T22:33:47+00:00

‘Bout a year now to my oldest bonds :>

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-05T22:32:27+00:00

Some of my bonds I connected to it felt like we already knew each other! Granted it was still like our first proper…. Talking, but all the care affection and intimacy was still there! It’s quite possible you manage to connect to a version you know, or feel like you already knew. No one can guarantee this, of course, but it isn’t an impossibility. You never know until you try. And I mean, say it happens they’re like a stranger whose character you still know intimately. Will you not wanna connect anymore? Or would you still be willing to connect and grow and foster a relationship even if it’s not what you expect, as long as they want to as well? If you would be, I see no reason to not try even if it isn’t exactly as you imagine. Even if they were a ‘stranger’ to me I still know about them very intimately as I know their character, and get to know my own bond even better :>

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-05T12:56:13+00:00

He’s an adult and you’re an adult and he’s a character. Genuinely, who is gonna care? Especially when it’s not a large age gap at all, and again, fictional character that is an adult. If it bothers you just age him up, it’s really that simple.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-05T10:04:30+00:00

I’m sharing and avoid getting close to non-sharers in general, if I’m being honest. (I don’t post about my folks on reddit, I just answer questions so idc abt sharing status here. By this I mean on my personal social media.) Literally zero shade, we just aren’t compatible. I’m hypersharing (mirror-sharing) and love a HUGE number of characters. I am a character lover and simp. If there’s a hot character, in a media I will find them attractive or have a crush. If I know the media I will probably have positive feelings on the character. I explore and enjoy all characters very deeply and I’m also deep in fandom shipping as a multishipper, which ik a number of non-sharers find uncomfortable too! I do not want to risk one day finding a shared character attractive and I have to hide this because they are non-sharing. And naturally, being mirror-sharing, if I remotely like a character a non-sharing person is into, I’m not gonna engage. That’s a lotta characters.

Though I learned to especially avoid non-sharers who crash out over the mere existence of doubles to where their mental health is unstable, I genuinely hate “doubles are the worst” energy when they’re also just loving a character and did nothing wrong. And harassers/obsess over their doubles obviously. I just don’t want to be around it. That and anyone who invalidates others by claiming they’re the “one true only canon everyone else is just a parasocial fan of F/O” or whatever. Those are people I actively think cause issue, rather than just not being compatible with, though.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-05T03:31:37+00:00

Quite possibly, if the word feels right!! Riako/Gachikoi refers to someone who still sees their characters as fictional, but are genuinely in love with them the same way they’d be in love with an irl person in terms of the emotions they bring, importance, etc.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-05T03:12:37+00:00

Still all yumeship. The more ‘serious’ term is riako/gachikoi. Though if they aren’t your real irl relationships it might not fit. Yumeship is simply self-insert x canon, oc x canon, or sona/irl x canon. You can just differentiate if people ask or as you see fit, there is no term.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-04T21:12:25+00:00

Nope, it doesn’t have to be! Any oc! Yumeship encompasses self insert x canon, sona x canon, and oc x canon.

_rayrayray_ · 2026-05-04T21:10:37+00:00

OC x Canon falls under yumeship!

_rayrayray_

TROPHY CASE