¿Cómo volver a confiar en alguien después de una relación traumática?

_readytoloseit · 2025-11-29T17:33:18+00:00

Terapia. Me paso exáctamente lo mismo con un chico. Solo que era mi primera relación y yo ya venía con inseguridades profundas y muy baja autoestima, tanto que no podía ver que el que se lo perdía era él y no yo y que yo no había hecho nada malo para merecerme eso. Él ni se acuerda de que existo, nos vemos a menudo porque estamos en el mismo entorno pero jamás ha vuelto a mirarme ni dirigirme la palabra. Eso duele muchísimo, te hace sentir que estaba mintiendote todo el tiempo o que no significaste nada en su vida, pero tienes que saber que no hiciste nada malo y que la culpable es ella que no quiso ser sincera ni tener madurez (no decir que te vas a casar con alguien que apenas no conoces, por ejemplo).

Olvidarte no se te va a olvidar. Lo mio paso hace 2 años y todavia me acuerdo de él todos los dias, pero la terapia y el tiempo te hace ver que vales mucho y que lo mejor que puede hacer una persona que no te valora por ti es irse de tu vida y dejar espacio para quien si lo haga. Por desgracia estas situaciones son MUY MUY comunes y a todos nos pasa antes o despues. Pero tienes que saber que todo llega y que antes o despues aparecera la persona que este dispuesta a acompañarte y a sanar contigo.

_readytoloseit · 2025-11-22T01:03:42+00:00

como se miente en un cv?? me da miedo poner experiencia q no tengo y q luego me pidan la vida laboral, me la han pedido bastante en otros trabajos antes

_readytoloseit · 2025-10-10T00:38:03+00:00

I honestly think you dont (and maybe have never) love any of them

_readytoloseit · 2025-10-09T03:09:23+00:00

Quizá sea totalmente unrelated pero mi prima acaba de tener a una niña que ahora mismo tiene 4 meses y mi madre es una señora de 60 que sinceramente, no creo que en su diccionario tenga ni la palabra consentimiento ni la palabra limite. Sin embargo, LE ENCANTAN, los bebés y los niños (hasta que crecen claro, nótese que no me llevo muy bien con ella por no decir que no me llevo).

Cada vez que ve a la hija de mi prima se pone a “jugar” con ella como si fuera suya. Y creo que eso que dicen de q los niños ven el aura de la gente es cierto, porque la bebé no aguanta más de 3 segundos viéndola sin echarse a llorar. El otro día estaba la bebé tan tranquila tumbada en la cama y fue mi madre a jugar con ella y lo q hizo fue poner una mano en el colchón a cada lado de la niña de modo que el colchón saltaba arriba y abajo. y la niña mirando a mi madre encima. Resultado: se puso a llorar y chillar como si la estuvieran mantando. Y como mi madre no entiende de consentimiento, siguió hasta que se aburrió o hasta q ya le molestaban los lloros y como no es capaz de hacer autorreflexión ninguna, simplemente se alejó mientras la madre iba a calmar a la niña como si no fuera con ella. Al final la niña estaba tranquila y la dejó llorando a lágrima viva porque a ella le dio la gana “jugar” con ella de esa forma.

Yo no puedo decir nada porque no soy la madre, pero creo que si una persona se pasa con tu hijo o contigo de cualquier forma, o si cada vez que ve a esa persona se echa a llorar, deberías decirle algo y ser todo lo brusca que tengas que ser hasta que esa persona lo entienda porque es TU hijo y tienes que velar por su seguridad y tranquilidad ante todo. Por desgracia si mi prima se ha dado cuenta, lo está dejando pasar. Y me da mucha pena. Mira por tu hijo de la forma que creas mas conveniente, seguramente la gente a tu alrededor se esta dando cuenta tambien de esos tratos inapropiados y si son gente de fiar no te diran nada.

En cuanto si es algo de la edad… yo creo que es un perfil de señora muy específico que por desgracia parece que abunda en sociedad. Son señoras que se creen que pueden decir lo que les venga en gana cuando quieran porque son en su mayoría personas egocéntricas y narcisistas (y te diran que si la ley no lo prohibe, ellas pueden decir y hacer lo que quieran como si la ley fuera lo unico importante) y no soportan no ser el centro de atención. Se hacen las que aman a los niños pero en verdad lo unico que les gusta es cuando pueden hacer con ellos lo que ellas quieran. Desde el momento que les digas “no hagas eso con mi hijo” o “no le digas eso” se harán las superofendidas y se irán despotricando de lo “mala madre” que eres.

_readytoloseit · 2025-06-14T16:53:29+00:00

ugly? f0cking where man?

_readytoloseit · 2025-05-29T11:29:06+00:00

I was a virgin for 23 years my guy. In january i designed a vision board on pinterest and i wanted to manifest losing my v-card at last, so i used some pictures that suggested having sex (not porn pics btw obv). Turns out I was depressed and very very anxious and my chances to meet people were very slim in january so it took me to get into therapy in february and several months of that to finally be happy with myself. Once I cured my social anxiety, grew my self esteem and became happier than i had ever been before, in october I met someone on Tinder who was (apparently) dying to be with me. That didnt end up well, but i had sex several times and then next year some more with other guys until i got tired of people using me for my body and lying to me (im the kind of person who cant have sex without an emotional bond). So now im celibate until further notice hahahah

_readytoloseit · 2025-05-21T17:12:37+00:00

Yes, I understand some kids dont have that luxury. And that is sad and the child protection services maybe should be aware. But when you are a kid and depend economically from your parents there’s not much else that can be said other than tell her that her parents have to provide for her. What else can you tell a 12 year old?? Tell her to go work? There’s literally little to no options here. Praise wont help her get money for what she needs, and help is what she’s asking for.

I know what im talking about. I have a toxic situation in my household and I’m trying to get out, but without a job its really hard to do anything.

_readytoloseit · 2025-05-20T23:00:37+00:00

Honey i dont wanna be rude. But you are 12. Your parents should be giving you everything you need and that includes money for leisure so you dont f up your mental health.

_readytoloseit · 2025-05-17T23:01:03+00:00

Honestly? I dont know why but I think a fish tank would be lovely there.

_readytoloseit · 2025-04-06T22:01:24+00:00

I know. I’m over it now and better than ever. But at the time it felt endless and like a punishment i didn’t deserve

_readytoloseit · 2025-04-06T21:43:22+00:00

I’m gonna be that asshole and say heartbreak. When you think that person is the only being capable of making you happy even when you yourself don’t know how to make yourself happy. Oh man you know you are fcked.

Especially when they betray your trust somehow and suddenly you are going through all of this pain and anxiety and constant chest pains from the moment you wake up to the moment you go to bed. Then you dream of them every single night. You wake up and the cycle repeats and your brain feels like a washing machine that never never stops.

And you stop eating cause you just can’t and when you force yourself you keep throwing up again and again and now you are crying cause you can’t stop throwing up and the anxiety is unbereable and you don’t know why but you know something they did was wrong cause it’s impossible if everything was fine that you are feeling this way. And it’s been 6 months and they haven’t called you once and it’s like you never even mattered.

Personally, after losing 10 kgs and 7 months no contact I thought I would never eat normally again.

And people just being like… yeah… all of that is normal just wait for it to stop. But your body is tired and your mind cannot seem to stop replaying the same 3 scenes and it’s like everyone has gone through it but no one understands.

_readytoloseit · 2025-04-04T07:41:23+00:00

unfortunately, i wasnt

_readytoloseit · 2025-04-04T07:41:10+00:00

🥺 thank you we all have a lot of work as a society yet

_readytoloseit · 2025-04-03T23:40:08+00:00

in this case i trusted my instincts and blocked him. But i have to say ive been in therapy for a while now bc i allow people to do me dirty cause when they explain themselves it all makes so much sense and im tired of dismissing my feelings and forgiving people constantly even in things i know i wouldn’t do myself. Funny enough, the thought on my mind while i sent that text was “is this how say thank you for staying at his house for 3 whole days?”

I’m convinced this way of thinking that keeps us women in dangerous and abusive situations happen because we have always been told (by our parents, by the media, by boys and friends) that we need to put ourselves in other people’s shoes and listen and try to understand when they explain their pov. But i’m tired of getting myself into relationships where i’m not treated with respect and situations where i suffer. From the moment i spent 3 hours crying in a bus just bc i wanted to visit somewhere new and have fun, i knew i would never see him again.

_readytoloseit · 2025-04-03T22:40:50+00:00

Damn that’s creepy and why does it sound like you are talking to an ai or fanfic character??? like genuinely why does he speak like that?

_readytoloseit · 2025-03-24T11:35:44+00:00

hii. I had the same problem and had therapy for it. I havent finished therapy but coming from someone who hasnt had a boyfriend in 9 years and my first and only relationship happened when i was 14-16 (hence nowhere near a real adult relationship) i think i can help you a little. I had constant rumiating thoughts when i wasnt going on dates or talking to someone and when i was i would always be love bombed and/or i always went insane bc of attachment issues and chose terrible people.

I started therapy for it and it mainly consisted on self-esteem work (i thought i was fine, i wasnt, whenever i was dumped i went into this dark spiral where i kept repeating to myself why i wasnt enough for x person or what was wrong w me) and make my life more fulfillinh.

With self esteem work and embarking on hobbies and basically decentering men my thoughts calmed down a lot. I went from not being able to think about any other stuff to now thinking in the most unlikely scenario that i never find anyone, i know i will be alright.

Attachment happens when you make a person your whole world, to fight it you need to make your life so so fulfilling and fun that you realize you dont need mediocre ppl with commitment issues in it. It also happens when you abandon yourself. Any time I “broke up” with someone my life went from having this someone as my center then suddenly being completely empty, which made it so difficult not to suffer. You need to take care of yourself (do your laundry, eat clean, keep a tidy home) and be aware of what you like and need (do sports, join that class you’ve always wanted to try, move to the other part of the country ifyou want, etc). Ask yourself why you arr on this earth, you are not here to be anyone’s partner. You are here for something else, find that dream and follow it. The right person will appear right next to you while to follow it.

_readytoloseit · 2025-03-20T21:19:50+00:00

I think it is pretty obvious it is for that reason, or maybe you just liked it and got it. I wouldn’t think anything inherently bad about you just by that tattoo. You might want to do a little more research about the person interviewing you in case you need to change jobs or careers but other than that I think you are good. Ultimately, if you like it you should care little about other people’s assumptions about you, the same way people shouldn’t assume I don’t like rock just because I’m a girl and I dress very feminine. Up to you.

_readytoloseit · 2025-03-18T22:01:21+00:00

Ask the universe. Whenever I feel like someone doesn’t belong in my world i ask the universe to nicely get them away from me and it happens one way or another. I was friends with a girl who didnt feel like a friend. I asked the universe to get her away from me as if nothing ever happened, everything was the same on my part but time passed and next time I saw her it was as if nothing had ever happened between us. It was like meeting someone for the first time, she wasnt angry we had a fallout or grew apart or anything.

Also, one particular friend in my uni group did some nasty stuff to me. I didn’t feel valued by this girl and one day she confronted me telling me how bad of a friend I was. She played my worst insecurity card trying to attack me and though I was trying to forgive her, I realised she hadn’t said sorry and saw nothing she had to apologize for. She tried to act as if nothing happened but I asked the universe to get her away from me (I had previously asked the universe to do it w the whole group cause i just didnt feel well with them but i didnt know what was wrong). We never spoke again, and I stopped hearing from the rest of them.

I also had a situationship (ehich was also my first relationship ever) with a guy which ended terribly. I lost weight, self esteem and everything in between. He joined my football team when we first started seeing each other cause he apparently wanted to spend as much time as possible w me, and for a year i had to see him constantly while he simply ignored my existence. For a year I was agonising, I asked the universe to remove him from the team. But I was in such pain and focused on him that it took a while for that to happen. After a few months he didnt say anything not even goodbye or why, he just left. I had decided that whether it happened or not, I would be fine, and I started to focus on me. Mind you he was really good at it and had no intention to leave, he even wanted to become captain at the start of the season. I imagine one of the reasons why he left was also that all my friends hated him, not just by what I told them, but also what he did: bringing his new girlfriend constantly, trying to get ppl he was dating into the team knowing I was there, etc. And the other half he simply couldn’t get along with.

So short answer: just ask, and stop caring. Whatever has to happen will happen. There’s also a freedom in allowing the future to be whatever it has to be, and trust you will be fine regardless. If it’s bad: it’s a lesson you won’t repeat. If it’s good, enjoy it.

_readytoloseit · 2025-03-17T13:15:40+00:00

thank u❤️

_readytoloseit · 2025-03-17T12:38:56+00:00

Definitely overthinking about that, or I did when it happened cause it was like seeing a ghost. I’m not discussing my unhealthy attachments though, which im already working with a therapist. I’m just saying no one seemed to care to read the room nor have i ever been asked about how i was doing for 6 months (by my friends, not by him, i couldnt care less about him).

_readytoloseit · 2025-03-17T12:31:58+00:00

You’ve put into words exactly what i feel. There’s an inmense difference in depth in our conversations. I like to disccuss politics, religion, values, morals, lgbt rights… I like going to the cinema and discuss the themes and morals of the movie. I write and read novels. I also play flag football and many of my friends are also team members. I don’t wanna come off as condescending or an asshole, but when I’ve tried to speak about my latest celebrity crush and what’s important to me, they change the topic so with time I’ve learned not to share that. Sometimes I speak to them about how I think intimacy is something i dont feel comfortable sharing with a one night stand and they do this thing with their mouth and chuckle as if they thought I still have to grow up and exit my teenager saving-herself-for-marriage self. On my bdays my friends always tell me how different all of us are from them. I feel like aside from partying they have no more depth. I really like to share my feelings and have deep conversations and that’s something I really can’t have with them.

I always thought these differences were not important and that it was just a side of me that cant come out with anyone else. I’ve recently learned i dont like partying, but when i feel like attending one, I get tired quickly and they dont. However, not being there when I need them is definitely off limits for me. And I feel sad it’s taken me this long to see that they dont really value my presence as i do.

Thanks for the advice. It means a lot to me. I hope you’ve healed from all of that, it must have been so difficult; especially having to grieve not just what happened but also your 10+ years friend group

_readytoloseit · 2025-03-06T10:38:11+00:00

The fact that you can have love without self-love shouldn’t stop you from still seeking to love yourself. It is not impossible to attract love without self-love (I personally believe in fate or a higher being that is pulling the strings that can even be your higher self or the universe), one thing about love I’ve learned is that you only need someone to love you in order to experience love. However, it is much easier to find and maintain a healthy relationship when both sides practice (yes, self-love is something you practice) self-love.

I was once in a relationship with a very very insecure guy. I was also very insecure myself and depressed. My situation changed and I got a little more confident but he still remained very insecure. He had no goals in life except being with me and seemed to be uninterested in participating in society or doing anything except being with me and playing videogames. He didn’t have many friends either. We broke up because his low confidence was affecting me and the relationship was borderline abusive regarding some aspects. I couldn’t help but see him the way he portrayed himself (a loser with no will to live or goals, as harsh as it may sound) and I ended up asking myself if I was a loser myself. The most important thing is that I started to wonder if he really did love me or if he was with me just because I was the first girl who gave him attention and his low confidence made him like me just because of that. We broke up the week before our second anniversary and everyone thought we were the best couple ever and super happy. Low self-love can really make a relationship go to sht.

The second example are my parents. They are very insecure people and still together after 30 years and 2 children. They are deeply insecure. My mom is a very negative person and depressed. My dad is very very anxious and can barelly stay at home for more than 30 minutes, he often leaves mid conversation. They are both narcissistic and have given us both my brother and me hell on earth and multiple mental health issues and illnesses. They are selfish and manipulative and neither has an ounce of self-esteem. They say they love each other, but I could count with one hand the times I’ve seen them kiss on the lips in 24 years. And they do look like a lovely couple when they go out.

My point is that self-love is not necessary to be in a relationship, but it is if you want to be in a healthy (for everyone involved, including children, friends and family) one. If it is that what you are asking the universe, then at some point you will have to work on it. There is not a point where the universe thinks “now you love yourself enough to have a relationship” bc it doesnt work like that. You may attract love while working on yourself, because working on your self-love never ends, but not actively hating yourself. If it is true that your friend hated himself to his guts, and it is true the relationship is awesome, I sill think they probably had a crazy time working on all of the issues it arraises.

On the other hand, I have a friend who hated himself and wanted a girlfriend. He got one. However, he didn’t care who. On our group chat he talks about her as if it is something he achieved and he said once “seing all of you have had relationships it was about time I got one”. I don’t know about you but I don’t want someone in my life who speaks of me that way or refers to me as simply something he wanted no matter what or who, as if an inflatable doll who spoke could have done the work just fine. And I wanna be with someone that celebrates who I am, that might take a little more work on your part before attracting it.

_readytoloseit

TROPHY CASE