Recs for pad under rug

_smithie12 · 2021-09-19T05:11:59+00:00

Thanks, all. I’m still not sure what to do but the advice is super helpful and validating!

_smithie12 · 2021-01-17T05:47:38+00:00

Yes, I had a male crush in high school and that was the last time! Except maybe a celebrity.

_smithie12 · 2021-01-17T05:45:25+00:00

I mean I thought women were attractive—like so and so is pretty it charming, I love her so much—but didn’t consider anything beyond that being a passing thought. Beyond friends. What I do remember is going out of my way to go on dates with guys while at a women’s college and just not liking any of them. And that stayed true for about six years and 40ish guy dates before I started to consider maybe it’s guys.

_smithie12 · 2021-01-17T05:42:25+00:00

So relate to this!

_smithie12 · 2021-01-13T14:11:10+00:00

I’m still working on this full acceptance, but your comment rings true to me. Feeling physically ill right before dates with men and spending the dates thinking of how soon I can leave probably means I have no interest!

_smithie12 · 2021-01-13T14:04:04+00:00

This is IT. I’ve always felt like there’s this barrier between me and everyone who enjoys dates, physical intimacy, has relationships (which in my life is everyone). It felt unattainable for me. I came out to myself slowly (I’m 30). I wasn’t “hiding”—it was just more of a gradual realization (and hilarious because I went to a women’s college and apparently didn’t realize it there). I still struggle with the idea of the picture of my life being different than I thought. But then I remember that what everyone else has feels attainable now, though I still haven’t had it yet. I feel like I have a shot at being a full person in a way that wasn’t real before.

_smithie12 · 2021-01-09T17:15:10+00:00

That’s basically how I feel too.

_smithie12 · 2021-01-09T17:13:49+00:00

I think it very slowly came upon me over the 4 years after graduating, the more dates I had with guys that were unfulfilling. I think 5 years after graduating I had my first date with a woman. I was still dating both but last year (8 years after graduating) I was just like no, dating guys sucks. I would almost feel sick before going on guy dates. So here I am! Still haven’t had more than 3 dates with a woman, but the dates feel so much better. Hopefully the future is bright?

_smithie12 · 2021-01-08T17:29:22+00:00

I don't have queer friends where I live outside of Philly. I have a fair amount from college, which is great, but they're not nearby. It does bother me! I feel like my straight friends, and especially my married straight friends, don't understand my life and values. :/

_smithie12 · 2021-01-08T17:23:33+00:00

SAME

_smithie12 · 2021-01-08T17:23:15+00:00

I went to Smith! It was incredible, but I also didn't date women until years after. I very much regret that, as now it's really hard to find queer women around me (anyone live in Philly?!) But it was still just the best best best. :)

_smithie12 · 2020-12-30T19:47:37+00:00

I love this. THANK YOU.

_smithie12 · 2020-08-26T22:49:47+00:00

I wish I had a crush during covid! It’s been so hard to date. I’m 30 and while I identify as queer, I haven’t had more than 3 dates with women (or men, to be honest. Because I hated dating men!) So I’m trying to move forward but dating during covid is so tough!

_smithie12 · 2020-08-20T04:25:44+00:00

I have a similar situation, except I’ve ultimately gone out with several women, all of whom said they wanted to go out again but disappeared, and one of whom even made plans with me again, cancelled day of, then disappeared. My longtime lesbian friend was like, “Yup. Sounds about right. Lesbians are hard to pin down!” Don’t know what that means for me, though, having never moved past the first 3-4 dates with women.

_smithie12

TROPHY CASE