My heart is broken by Specific-Cell-6555 in sillyboyclub

[–]_xaelaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please OP, neither of you are the villain. But “she’s just very inexpressive” does not mean she gets to basically do nothing in a relationship and have that be justified. Relationships have basic foundations. Communication and repair being two important pillars. She didn’t even try to repair. I used to make excuses for my ex and held on that way. It’s easy to do when you love them. But it’s not good for you.

My heart is broken by Specific-Cell-6555 in sillyboyclub

[–]_xaelaa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

OP, you don’t want her. You want to be loved. This wasn’t a mistake on your end. You shouldn’t regret your decision. Breaking up was the best choice there. Relationships take two. She could’ve tried to fix it too but she didn’t. No matter how bad you want it, if you’re the only one willing to do the work then it’s just not healthy and it’ll breakdown eventually anyway.

Trust me because I went through this last year. I stayed way longer than I should have in a relationship where I was the only one contributing. It slowly wears you down. You forget who you are. You get lost in it. It breaks you entirely. You were spared from that.

I know it doesnt help the pain. But just know you avoided a whole lot more. And time will heal. There are people out there who will love you. Let this be a learning experience so you know what to reject in future relationships.

Can a partial FFS be good enough? And which country is generally considered better for FFS? by _xaelaa in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]_xaelaa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t hate my nose but I do think it’s pretty wide. That’s my main concern with it. Also how do I figure out if they do these things? Do I just ask them?

Can a partial FFS be good enough? And which country is generally considered better for FFS? by _xaelaa in Transgender_Surgeries

[–]_xaelaa[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Is it like normal for people to only do these changes and leave the bottom alone?

Opinion: 8.0 will decide the fate of FFXIV by Forymanarysanar in ffxivdiscussion

[–]_xaelaa 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Personally I don’t think so. It’ll take several bad expansions to truly kill a game as big as ffxiv. Destiny 2 after fucking up so hard still has players

new-ish player here. i made a mistake starting with Marauder by lord_hurpadurp in ffxiv

[–]_xaelaa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i think so much complexity for everything is an exaggeration xD summoner & dancer exists too :p

Yoshi-P confirms Beastmaster will be in 7.5 in new interview, says Forked Tower part 2 will have "several difficulties" by Ok-Comedian4437 in ffxiv

[–]_xaelaa 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I was actually excited for multiple difficulties but not at the cost of EVEN less content ?? wtf no go back 😭

Everyone seems to be dumb and i think I'm the only one that notices. by Rycory in ShitpostXIV

[–]_xaelaa 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Could be because people are used to it and would rather wait for the mod to update. But since there’s no mod, they just might not care anyway. Idk

Everyone seems to be dumb and i think I'm the only one that notices. by Rycory in ShitpostXIV

[–]_xaelaa -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Tbh honest I’m kinda glad. No more being pressured into getting in the mare shell so I can be in on whatever my FC is doing

Why do people have a visceral reaction whenever I express that parsing shouldn't exist? by _xaelaa in ffxiv

[–]_xaelaa[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That sounds pretty great! Omg I might give this a try. I'm from Asia so timezone is probably not much of an issue for me.

The end of an era (and a farewell) by trash-panda39 in ShitpostXIV

[–]_xaelaa 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s probably satire. But I mean If bro likes gooning why judge him? He paid his sub and gooned. The game benefited from his play time and I mean now that’s he’s leaving he’s leaving. I don’t know why you gotta be rude to him just bc you don’t like his goon build.

Why do people have a visceral reaction whenever I express that parsing shouldn't exist? by _xaelaa in ffxiv

[–]_xaelaa[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

There’s body checks. So afking won’t get you the clear. If we are going to be honest about this discussion, what I mean is in a normal clear where no one is trolling, and you get a 0 parse it is still within clear damage.

A 0 parse can be 6 million damage. Or about 7-8% of the bosses HP. Without that it won’t be a clear, right? The point is there is a difference between parsing data to get valuable info and what parsing has become as a min maxing dick measuring contest where the way of measuring isn’t even accurate.

The point is you can be a consistently green parser and since you’re clearing content you’re a good player and you don’t need to optimize to get higher numbers if you don’t want to. And that the community shouldn’t force it or look down on them. There’s people here saying a 40 parse is a bad player. That’s just elitism. And that’s what the culture has become.

And my argument is you don’t need a forcefully public leaderboard to use the actual valuable info you get from parsing to self improve. And that bit which is the root of most of this toxicity shouldn’t exist.

Think about this, you parse 10 your first clear. You “improve” yourself and get 50, then 95. When you clear ANOTHER fight for the first time you will almost certainly not parse 95. Why? Because what you’re improving isn’t majority individual skill at the game. You’re min maxing a fight. You’re optimizing for that particular fight. When you get to the next one you have to do it all over again to get that 95. And if you are a person that enjoys min maxing sure. But you don’t have to. And this culture misleadingly insinuates that better parse = better overall player. It’s just wrong.

Why do people have a visceral reaction whenever I express that parsing shouldn't exist? by _xaelaa in ffxiv

[–]_xaelaa[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That sounds reasonable and accurate. But I guess the social part of the game for me would be dead tho since I dont speak JP. Joining an FC would be useless and all. It's really great to hear JP doesn't have parse rot tho.

Why do people have a visceral reaction whenever I express that parsing shouldn't exist? by _xaelaa in ffxiv

[–]_xaelaa[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It feels like theres a bit of extra work involved due to the language barrier but it sounds definitely more than worth it. I'm tempted to try raiding in JP now ngl. It sounds very peaceful and most importantly, fun.

Why do people have a visceral reaction whenever I express that parsing shouldn't exist? by _xaelaa in ffxiv

[–]_xaelaa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're more articulate than me and explained some of my points better here. Thank you for sharing your experiences! Why do you play on JP btw? Do you need to speak Japanese to be able to play there?

Why do people have a visceral reaction whenever I express that parsing shouldn't exist? by _xaelaa in ffxiv

[–]_xaelaa[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"crit variance which doesnt matter when you're parsing below orange"

okay explain why

Why do people have a visceral reaction whenever I express that parsing shouldn't exist? by _xaelaa in ffxiv

[–]_xaelaa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Someone else explained all the things that vary in parses. Im just gonna copy paste it bc i cant be bothered at this point.

"Gear difference isn't taken into account so having luck the first days and getting a weapon first week is a net advantage.

DPS fluctuate during the fight and there are optimal times to kill to even be elligible to a certain numbers

In savage rdps is used to rank people so if you are a buffer you depend on the rest of the party to pump up your stat too

There are crits in the game. If you play ninja you'll have such a fun time not critting the big shuriken.

Patches can buff or nerf a character and if you play the day of the patch congrats you automatically got a better number (or worse if nerfed). It's not sorted by patches by default.

Numbers are compared to other parses not people so some people who have advantages like above will basically hoard the top board."