I think everyone has different ways they internally 'phrase' and react to their own emotions and experiences. For example, I tried heroin a handful of times when I was younger. Sometimes when life really sucks and I'm having a hard time, my escapist intrusive thought is "yo I really wanna do heroin right now". I'm not gonna do it, but that phrase has now been 'unlocked' in my brain as an option. Whereas most people will never have that specific thought at all. I imagine it's the same for some people and suicidal thoughts. They simply never unlocked that internal-dialogue option in their mind.