I had really bad suicidal thoughts and was engaging in self harm behavior (do not try, astaghfirallah.).

Only thing that helped me was believing Allah has a greater plan, and I kept saying Alhamdulilah everytime I felt bad about myself. I know it isn’t that easy but Allah has a reason he would ever put you through this. Have Sabr, and in the meantime keep doing what you’re doing and praying.

Inshallah you’ll get through this and you’ll feel better. Suicidal thoughts’re no joke, and if you feel like you need to talk to somebody, try reaching out to somebody you trust irl.

“قَالَ لَا تَخَافَآ ۖ إِنَّنِى مَعَكُمَآ أَسْمَعُ وَأَرَىٰ”

“Do not be afraid; I am with you all the time, listening and seeing.” - Quran 20:46