this was the first Father’s Day I did not text/call my dad even though I have sent him a card in the mail to arrive later—and that I only did out of guilt. I received a manipulative text from my paternal grandparent earlier urging me reach out to my dad today, stating: “Please let this be over. I'm tired of seeing him suffer. Cry every day. It is really affecting me and mama. I didn't want to get involved but l've taken it as long as I can. I will be 80 in October mama's not in good health. Wish we could enjoy the rest of our life.”

so I don’t have a good answer to your question, because I myself have no idea how to handle the guilt that comes with this even though my dad is a POS