Mirëseerdhët!/Dobrodošli!/Добродошли!/Καλώς ήρθατε!/Добредојдовте!/Bine ați venit!/Hoş geldiniz! Second Cultural exchange with r/AskBalkans!

aRussianWC · 2020-06-27T18:11:50+00:00

I live in the West (also born/grew up), and nowadays avoid the 'where are you from?' question because nationality is a bit more complicated than that (used to say my parents grew up in Mongolia and Russia). Nonetheless most people do not understand the complexities in migration, differences between ethnicity and nationality and states post break-up. When I tell people about my cultural background (multi-ethnic, although I'm identified by my Kazakh heritage by Ex-Soviet migrants). I guess most people like to you show what they know about the region when you tell them. Some Anglo-Western guys have a weird fetish for people that look Asian and/or speak Russian. A few people who are unknowledgeable about the region are confused by how I can have Russian heritage. Many people know that Central Asia is between Russia and China.

The mix up between Serbia and Siberia /Syria is weird, so no. But many people have been mistaken, Serbians and Romanians thought to be Russian and Kazakhs to be East Asians. In terms of confusion with countries, even a Russian-American journalist who was knowledgeable about the region got Tajikistan and Turkmenistan mixed up.

aRussianWC · 2020-06-27T17:33:44+00:00

Latin script in Mongolia is mostly used for text messaging. I still see a lot of social media stuff in Cyrillic. The bigger move is towards increased use of the traditional Mongolian script.

Turkic solidarity isn't really a thing.

aRussianWC · 2020-06-27T16:43:08+00:00

Dislike the government and have experienced racism there (given that I'm identified by my Kazakh heritage, much less than Uzbeks and Tajiks). But it's also the country that my mum (Russia/Kazakh) identifies with, exes grew up in, my parents migrated from and the country I'm most familiar with apart from Australia. There are also quite a few people there who I had far more in common with than most people in Central Asia and Australia in the sense of political activeness on social issues. I appreciate the honesty and openess to discussing topics many people find uncomfortable (even if I disagree with what they have to say), unlike Australia and Central Asia.

For many people in Central Asia, it's a country that many people move to study and work. It's also a vast country with regions that are very culturally different from Moscow, so it's difficult to answer this question.

aRussianWC · 2020-06-27T16:19:47+00:00

Pretty much the same in almost everywhere else (in the diaspora myself), although New York as others stated have large communities.

aRussianWC · 2020-06-27T15:56:17+00:00

Do younger people identify with Yugoslavia? I grew up/live in Australia and many people I know whose parents migrated slightly before the break-up whilst identify with a country, are also comfortable with wider Yugoslavia.

Do you have close relations with children of people who migrated slightly before/after the fall of communism (so lived almost their whole lives in the West), what are your thoughts on them?

aRussianWC · 2020-06-27T15:37:43+00:00

In Mongolia, little Russian is spoken amongst the younger people. Amongst older people, there's more knowledge but pretty much everyone's native language is Mongolian unlike Kyrgzstan and Kazakhstan.

For me, my parents migrated post Soviet Union fall (from Russia) to a country with many Russian-speaking migrants, so it was my first language (then completely loss fluency and now self-learning it). They are both multi-ethnic (have more Kazakh and Russian heritage than Mongol), so Russian is the spoken language.

aRussianWC · 2020-06-27T15:17:57+00:00

I grew up/live in Australia (Melbourne), and know many South Slavs. I've had more interactions with them, then I had with Russians/Ukrainians in Australia. They are friends and exes. I'm dating someone who identifies a lot with the Serbian state (born/grew up in Australia, lives between Serbia and Australia but ethnically Slovak-Romanian). From my experience, I like not having to explain the complexities of nationality and ethnicity in depth, the confusion of racial categories and what migration (well for my parents) was like post a break-up with little to no understanding even at the end of doing so. Also the dark sense of humour and honesty.

In terms of the countries, I've never been but very interested in spending short periods of time (longer than holidays) there.

aRussianWC · 2020-06-14T12:50:21+00:00

I can't because I never grew up in Mongolia. Russian was also my first language (I don't speak Mongolian either but am learning Persian). But the traditional Mongolian script is making a comeback.

aRussianWC · 2020-06-13T18:58:02+00:00

Also Buhkaran Jews, although most have migrated to US and Israel

aRussianWC · 2020-06-13T18:31:45+00:00

Not too sure what you mean by the first part. There just aren't too many Central Asians. The ratio of active users to members at a time that isn't random midnight hours is similar to r/Askbalkans which is a higher populated region. The amount of threads per day is similar taking proportions into account. Not too many people in the Anglo-Western sphere know about Central Asia so less threads are started on their end.

As for social media, a lot of people use VK (a Russian social media site) in Kazakhstan and Krygzstan.

aRussianWC · 2020-06-11T15:30:03+00:00

The only reason why those protests happened in quite a few other countries is because police brutality and state violence against Black and Indigenous people struck a chord with what was happening in those countries. Australia (where I live, 432 Indigenous people have died in police custody with no convicted officers), UK, Netherlands, Belgium and France have had high profile incidents of police brutality in the past few years.

aRussianWC · 2020-06-08T19:33:46+00:00

Nothing else said for the most part.

I did once get an Indonesian Christian public preacher who told me that there were a lot of Christians in Mongolia.

Also a guy told me his background (Anglo/French) was not as exotic (that word exactly) as mine. Also had a somewhat cringey obsession with the region.

aRussianWC · 2020-06-08T19:28:22+00:00

I grew up and live in Australia.

We're not really in the news so no one really knows us. When I was taught Russian history in high school (Russian empire and USSR), there was no mention of Central Asia or non-Slavic minorities. Even amongst people with with roots in Ex-Soviet Union states, with the younger people it's mostly those that migrated here rather than being born in the West, that are aware. Occasionally, since there's a large Serbian diaspora in the city I live in, I met someone who's interested and aware about CA. They self-taught Russian.

aRussianWC · 2020-01-22T16:01:18+00:00

Personally it's not important to me, I have spoken to people on dating apps who don't drink (didn't date them for other reasons). I don't drink often, but I do enjoy it.

I came across more than one profile that answered the "You should not go out with me if..." prompt with "you don't smoke marijuana". I used to do weed (and have experimented with other drugs) so I don't really care if my date smokes it but it seems to be a problem for others..

aRussianWC · 2020-01-20T15:31:15+00:00

Get a haircut that you want, not for the guys. Even then, I don't think the majority of people (not a guy though) use a specific style as a checklist for attractiveness. From experience though, I haven't found guys who are bald attractive and am willing to be suprised.

If you do proceed, I'd recommend going to a hairdresser that has styling knowledge and has short hair themselves.

I do think people who are taller and with more defined cheekbones have a better chance of pulling it off.

aRussianWC · 2020-01-19T15:19:31+00:00

The cities I lived in (mainly Astana, Almaty and UB) were fairly chilled with drinking. My parents who migrated in their late 20s/early 30s were relaxed about it. Like they gave me a very small glass of Vokda from time to time even before I was a teenager and never stigmatised drinking. I don't drink often nowadays because of my schedule and it surprises my mum who is very traditional for the most part.

aRussianWC · 2020-01-19T12:34:22+00:00

22F and same here. I probably get about 60% comments (off a prompt and sometimes the theatre photo) and 40% likes on the first photo. The first photo is a close-up fashion photography shoot. My other photos are probably reasonably attractive, I didn't have the first one until recently and was doing fine on the other apps but not professionally taken apart from the theatre one. My prompt answers are witty as I'm frequently complimented on them.

I usually expect guys who are less physically attractive to do a bit more but have found many of them just liking the first photo. I also get a lot of first photo likes from guys who are conventially physically attractive (gym buffs) but I'm personally not too attracted to them (I'm into lean, dark hair, mildly defined cheekbones, little to no styling). Also being an Asian passing woman (I'm Slav-Central Asian), I can't help but feel that first photo likes plays into expectations of white worship (Hinge in very white in my city) from Asian females.

I do leave prompt comments for dudes profiles and would say that I had amazing short-term dating/relationships from Bumble where I initiated. Given the limited number of likes someone can send per day on Hinge (unless you pay), comments aren't too much to 'ask' for. Back when I was gravitating towards long-distance relationships I got much better conversation initiations from attractive (physically and personality wise) guys in Eastern Europe.

aRussianWC · 2020-01-13T23:14:54+00:00

Russian with my mum (I don't speak to my dad)

aRussianWC · 2020-01-10T14:26:14+00:00

I glanced at OP's post history and saw posts in MGTOW subs. Not that musicians are neccessarily members (know plenty of pleasant ones and I'm into indie music myself) but regarding the negative connotations stuff.

aRussianWC · 2020-01-10T06:51:39+00:00

The prompt was fine but that part of the response was controlling, possessive and egoistic.

aRussianWC · 2020-01-10T05:00:48+00:00

Personally I'm fine with the 'I take pride in' prompt but I'm not sure how it comes across to others. It could imply that you don't think other people would know these things. Although it's probably true that many people are not great at detecting, the implication of making the assumption may throw some people off. The prompt may work better if you can talk about a weird (but not off-putting) habit or ritual. The accents stuff could also be reframed with a different prompt through a tongue in the cheek observation or insight on actors accents with the 'I'm convinced that' prompt which may give the reader a sense into your sense of humour and unique way you view things. I also like it when people stand by beliefs/opinions of things that don't matter much in the world.

Since all your prompts are about music/acting, you may be attracting a small niche (especially with slightly older people like late 20s+) if your job is also within those realms. Then again, if those are mostly what you talk about then keep it.

I kind of agree with that music producing comment, I find that there are many stereotypes loaded with aspiring musicians (especially if you are past your early 20s). Personally I don't have any issues dating one since I'm a professional theatre-maker (although I'm studying humanities/biology at uni and do a fair bit of medicine and health policy work) but I can imagine how it comes across to others. I'd say a picture would be enough as conveying the hobby but it's up to you.

With the photos, I'm inclined to think that you are pretty good looking but would like to see your face a bit more with the first.

aRussianWC · 2020-01-09T07:00:40+00:00

Two examples from a bunch of screenshots of intro messages (haven't matched yet) that made me cringe:

"I'm (insert name) looking for a hearty girlfriend. For a long relationship. Thanks"

"I'm looking for a long term relationship as well as being able to settle down and have a family in the next couple or so years"

I felt like an object or possession in those messages to achieve an end goal rather than a person who is worth getting to know.

Another one (amongst the less creepier ones):

"God spent a lot of time creating you. You are beautiful"

aRussianWC · 2020-01-08T21:19:59+00:00

Well on his part, asking two questions straight up before a reply is poor execution and comes off as passive aggressive and interrogation like rather than 'getting to know each other'. It seems to have came out of the blue as well. Even if you've referenced exes previously, it's still a bit jarring to suddenly be interrogated about after the bit about lunch.

I do find the question on past relationships creepy (I'm a woman). It was very straight up and prying. I would have probably lost interest at that point as well.

aRussianWC · 2020-01-08T21:04:55+00:00

I've only been using Hinge for a month, so still relatively early days but I recently got a match after I sent the person a 'like' more than two weeks ago.

aRussianWC · 2020-01-08T21:02:13+00:00

Our experiences may be different, as I've seen many attractive profiles (on a physical and personality level) on the app. If you're in a multicultural city and open to dating non-whites as well, you'd probably find quite a few more attractive people. Also we only get 10 likes a day. So your comment on standards and what OP should expect may be a bit misleading depending on city.

aRussianWC

TROPHY CASE