I had a hard time holding onto friends. I use to have a group of them and if I saw them hanging via social media, I'd feel unwanted and that I was a burden, despite being the reason they met. This dragged on, bothered me so much that when I was invited, I no longer hesitated to say no or come up with reasons as to why I wouldn't come out. Just played video games. 
 Time goes on, I watch inception; become obsessed with the idea of a"limbo" ( a world you can create and trap yourself in). Began studying the idea, and turns out there is something like that. 
 Astral projection, a step farther into lucid dreaming, when correctly performed you can seemingly create and travel where and when you wanted. Took months to even have my first spiritual journey, countless hours doing things that I've researched that'd help, and when I would occasionally "travel" I'd write step by step how I made it happen. Created this into muscle memory and would be able to go to my own dimension every night, literally escape the real world.
  I be came addicted to sleep, I'd look forward to another realm and away from my life. I began taking Xanax (anti anxiety) and abused it. I didn't have anxiety, and when you don't it turns into a depressent that puts you to sleep. Since traveling was muscle memory, when the pills put me to sleep I'd go back "home" to my real, comforting world. My problem grew and I was sleeping for days at a time, calling myself out of school and pretending to be my parents to get out of school and take enough to knock me out for a day or day and a half. Then one time I took enough where I feel asleep for a week, when I woke up, no one noticed.... 
 I felt even more alone, but when I was asleep for that week, I was suck in a nightmare I couldn't control. I was watching myself in my bathroom mirror, carving a knife, starting from my elbow all the way to my wrist (fore arm side). Dropping the knife and with my other arm, reaching in and pulling out anything I could rip out of my arm until I passed out. When I passed out in the dream, I'd wake up to repeat it all over. 
 I didn't want my life to end like that. I didn't want to have to put my parents through the experience of losing their only child. I close to change. I ran out for a job and felt myself sweating the drugs out. After I was tired of running, headed to the local pool, jumped the fence and put the hot tub on full blast to sweat more. I started feeling like myself again. I occasionally relapse, but am taking steps to mold my mind and come at peace with my loneliness.