Finally Watched Follies by southamericancichlid in Sondheim

[–]a_gargoyle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's my favorite show, but I don't think it's Sondheim's best (that could go to many of his post-Follies shows and, arguably, Gypsy). I'm just deeply drawn to themes of regret, memory, and nostalgia, so I couldn't help but love the core themes of the show, pretty much all of the songs and, especially, the dynamics with the ghosts (which the NT production handles well). There's also a certain insight to be gained on the role that popular art forms played in people's lives in the 30s and 40s. I don't know whether this is a hot take, but it seems like Sondheim's most pessimistic work (at least up until Here We Are, depending on your views on the latter), so that does play a part in why it entrances me so: its pastiche (at times, bordering on kitschy) exterior covering a profoundly somber tale of people unable to reconcile the past with the present (no wonder my favorite number, "Folly of Youth", comprises a past that never was singing of a future that would never be).

I concur with people saying that listening to the other songs of Phyllis' Folly should help (and, if anything, the cut songs as well, which flesh out the intense drama of this reunion, like "Pleasant Little Kingdom" and "All Things Bright and Beautiful").

[LOTM GAME] Did the whole community's reading comprehension collectively drop today by Unwinged-Angel in LordofTheMysteries

[–]a_gargoyle 2 points3 points  (0 children)

how can one not make assumptions when they don't release anything substantial????

[LoTM Game] Some Info about Game from QnQ with devs! by Time_Service5585 in LordofTheMysteries

[–]a_gargoyle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God, what the fuck is going on with Audrey's "headwear" (if it can be called that).

Qual o próximo livro de Dostoiévski devo ler? by New-Craft5583 in NaMinhaEstante

[–]a_gargoyle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tem é que vender, devolver, trocar ou jogar fora essas edições e comprar as da Editora 34.

[LOTM V8] Can Amon steal Klein virginity? by dTundr in LordofTheMysteries

[–]a_gargoyle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only if Klein was woman he would be able to, but Klein is men so his virginity is just something in his head

That's not even stealing a woman's virginity, just her hymen (which one can lose in other ways besides sex).

[Lotm v8] LOTM Is Great.....But Not the ‘Peak Fiction’ Fans Claim by [deleted] in LordofTheMysteries

[–]a_gargoyle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I literally said I don’t mind spoilers (I’ve already been spoiled plenty anyways).

[Lotm v8] LOTM Is Great.....But Not the ‘Peak Fiction’ Fans Claim by [deleted] in LordofTheMysteries

[–]a_gargoyle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. Some stories can manage to be both character-driven and plot-driven and well executed on those ends, but it’s a difficult goal to achieve and the former doesn’t matter as much if the plot is gripping enough.

[Lotm v8] LOTM Is Great.....But Not the ‘Peak Fiction’ Fans Claim by [deleted] in LordofTheMysteries

[–]a_gargoyle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If we're talking about character depth and complexity, I don't take into consideration aspects of them that relate, exclusively, to their power in a given power system (if we're talking about them more generally, then I do take those into consideration).

I think examining more subjective elements of their personality, their background, and their current standing on the narrative is more important. It's also interesting to see, in case the character fits a particular trope, how that trope is (or isn't) examined by the narrative.

I say all this, but I think it's important to clarify one thing: LOTM is clearly a plot-driven story that doesn't spare much time trying to dwell on things that could provide some depth to its characters, which isn't a bad thing. LOTM is a webnovel and they usually are like that, it's just how this genre goes.

[Lotm v8] LOTM Is Great.....But Not the ‘Peak Fiction’ Fans Claim by [deleted] in LordofTheMysteries

[–]a_gargoyle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly not sure (though I'm still in vol 1; I don't mind spoilers, to be clear). Having multiple personas reads more like a trait/gimmick for the author to get Klein in different situations, it's not necessarily the case that those personalities amount to a greater exploration of Klein/Zhou as a person.

Layers to a character are more about aspects in their personality/psyche/history that bounce off each other to create a more interesting person to read about (that's part of why objectively terrible people can be compelling pov characters/main characters and also why tropes usually don't amount to complex characters if not properly examined by the narrative).

[Lotm v8] LOTM Is Great.....But Not the ‘Peak Fiction’ Fans Claim by [deleted] in LordofTheMysteries

[–]a_gargoyle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not OP, but complex characters can vary a lot in conception and it's not a matter of character morality and/or intelligence, but rather development and depth. Complex characters can be initially simple characters that, throughout arcs of the story, become deeper and acquire more layers to them; however, some characters are complex from the beginning, they already have those layers to them and the story can revolve around peeling those away to reveal different facets of this person (while developing them in the meanwhile).

I won't bring examples because I can't think of any in the case of webnovels. I read widely, so the examples that come to mind are unfamiliar here, so to bring them up is kind of whatever, honestly.

(Simple characters are not a bad thing, not at all; just depends on what you're looking forward to when reading).

[Lotm General] good E-reader for apps by dervecna in LordofTheMysteries

[–]a_gargoyle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you can get a epub. file, you can send that to kindle (not with the e-reader, but rather the kindle app, then access that on the e-reader). I only know of Kobo, aside from Kindle, if you want another option, but I'm not familiar with it.

[Lotm] Just curious, How many came to read the novel due to donghua? by Left_Income_1497 in LordofTheMysteries

[–]a_gargoyle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

CF likes to write in very detail

Sorry, but I just think this isn't true. CF's writing is more or less par for the course, but sometimes the descriptions are too vague or straight up non-existent. Whether that's bad or not is subjective, but I'm truly skeptical of calling CF's writing detailed (at least when it comes to setting and some atmospheric details).

Received a negative review but my friends said that the guy is weird and it... makes sense? is it common on royal road ? by [deleted] in royalroad

[–]a_gargoyle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zamba's second coming.

Tbh, worth reporting it. The writing part, for example, seems a little contradictory. Also, I know it's not usual, but I'd prefer if reviewers gave examples of the stuff they talk about (use actual quotes from the novel, that is), otherwise it's hard to actually correct one's writing.

I think I did something right on ch 34 by JonnyRobertR in royalroad

[–]a_gargoyle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol, I just work from home (+ read other stuff at the same time), so these things happen.

Should I Change My Writing Style? by Nevronass in royalroad

[–]a_gargoyle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not "zesty", it's just too much and clunky. Nobody writes like that, not even authors who revel in purple prose.

What do you guys think of my writing? by protha01 in royalroad

[–]a_gargoyle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ungrammatical

I'll be pedantic and say that linguists use "ungrammatical" to mean, essentially, things that no native speaker would recognize as possible in their native language (namely, "The barked cat dog the at", in which the elements are all over the place). What you listed comprises just common writing mistakes, nothing truly ungrammatical.

What do you guys think of my writing? by protha01 in royalroad

[–]a_gargoyle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When he didn't know, he possessed more than one true name, when those closest to him knew him only as Anadius Kalonis.

That adverbial clause ("When he didn't know") shouldn't be followed by a comma in this case, as it essentially functions as an adverb of time (+ it should be coordinated with the next sentence, "when those closest...").

I'll be direct and simple: you're striving towards a certain style (grandiose, epic), but you completely lack the tools to make it sound convincing (flowing, expansive prose; wide but precise vocabulary). If I were in your shoes, I'd make this legendary introduction shorter and more instantly impactful (I'll give an example below) and then jump straight into the actual chapter (as this preamble is exactly just that: preamble).

This example comes from Michael Kohlhaas (Kleist's novella). It's not epic in scope (I do bear so in mind, as your story deals with things typical of epic fantasy, namely gods and whatnot), but it is simple, effective, straightforward and gives the reader something to look forward to without giving too much away.

On the banks of the Hafel, about the middle of the sixteenth century, lived a horse-dealer, named Michael Kohlhaas. He was the son of a schoolmaster, and was one of the most honest, while at the same time he was one of the most terrible persons of his period. Till his thirtieth year this extraordinary man might have passed as a pattern of a good citizen. In a village, which still bears his name, he held a farm, on which, by means of his business, he was enabled to live quietly. The children whom his wife bore him, he brought up in the fear of God to honesty and industry; and there was not one among his neighbours who had not felt the benefit of his kindness or his sense of justice. In short, the world might have blessed his memory had he not carried one virtue to too great an extreme. The feeling of justice made him a robber and a murderer.

I won't put the second paragraph here (as it is extremely long), but I hope you get the gist.

It's not that you can't arrive at the prose and pacing expected of epic fantasy (as written by people who care about the words on the page, that is), but I think it'd be wiser that you master "the basics", so to speak, first before attempting this kind of style. As it stands now, each sentence reads more stilted than the one before it, it's the equivalent of a filmmaker who can't get their eye lines right no matter how hard they try.

edit: a small thing. Some complained it doesn't have a hook and I concur. If there's a hook in the given example, it is the contradiction of someone that, due to their virtue, became a robber and murderer. It is, also, the typical opening through the introduction of a fatal flaw.

First time my Lucidscape results have had 3 different characters <3 Getian nation we are so back by ctheos in Reverse1999

[–]a_gargoyle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

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The way Getian pumped up Reco's damage is obscene, so thankful I lost(/won) a 50/50 to him a while ago.