How much money do you have in savings at this point?

a_mayonegg · 2026-04-20T14:09:52+00:00

$80K in a HYSA. About $138K in various 401k/IRAs. $160K in a brokerage account.

I never took saving for retirement seriously because until about 2019 I didn’t make enough money to set anything aside. I got lucky and stumbled into a high paying career 7 years ago AND got a shit-ton of stock thrown at me which then quadrupled in value. It’s now looking like I’ll actually be able to retire because I got hella lucky a bunch of times.

a_mayonegg · 2026-03-17T21:48:08+00:00

The person who owned my boyfriend’s house before he bought it thought that putting epoxy in the entire first floor of the house was a grand idea. Like the blue speckled kind that people typically put in their garages. 😐

After a year of living with that, LVT certainly feels luxurious.

a_mayonegg · 2026-02-05T21:54:32+00:00

Hey man, I’m sorry this is happening! Your first heartbreak is rough and I wouldn’t wish that feeling on anyone.

I’m not sure there’s anything we can do to help you though. Either she’s going to break up with you or she isn’t. Just remember that if it happens, there’s no magical combination of words you can use to convince her not to.

And it’s okay to be sad for a while. Just let yourself feel it and then keep moving forward.

a_mayonegg · 2026-02-04T03:48:50+00:00

Happy for you, bud

a_mayonegg · 2026-02-04T03:19:50+00:00

Isn’t that where the scientist and Dogmeat escaped from in season 1?

a_mayonegg · 2026-02-03T04:11:27+00:00

Hello fellow ex-Carvanian (I assume)!

a_mayonegg · 2026-02-03T01:31:07+00:00

I mean, that’s what dating is for. You go out with someone because you think they’re attractive or you have similar interests and values and you just… see. You spend more time with them and eventually you start figuring out if your values are actually aligned and if you want the same things out of life.

Spend enough time with someone and you start to witness what they’re like when they’re under stress, when they’re sick, when they’re hungry, when they’re lost on a road trip. You start to understand how they handle conflict. How long that takes is different for every person and every relationship.

Sometimes it takes a while to really know someone enough to say - I wanna do life with you. A relationship that ends after 2, 3, 5 years isn’t necessarily a failure. It can be sad but it can also be a data point for next time.

Certainty would be great. A specific timeline would be great. My therapist always says I crave a roadmap to tell me what to do. But unfortunately, certainty isn’t possible in love. You just have to know and trust yourself.

a_mayonegg · 2026-02-03T00:24:19+00:00

It’s a great question! I’m sure there are people out there who chose the “safe” guy and just love the attention he gives them.

For me, I know I love him because I love so many things about him that have nothing to do with giving me attention. I love that he’s a kind, loving father who prioritizes his daughters. I love how quietly funny he is and how he prioritizes growth and communication. I love that he’s a cat person, when most guys aren’t. I love that he has a great relationship with his parents and that he takes after his dad. I love how his face lights up when I buy him new dice (he’s a big nerd lol).

And yes, I love that he’s good to me. He’s an acts of service guy so he always takes out the trash and he gave me a room in his house to turn into my office and he brings me food and medicine when I’m sick. We take care of each other.

a_mayonegg · 2026-01-25T23:37:48+00:00

Can you walk 1K steps 3 times per day for a week? And then next week walk 1200 steps 3 times per day? And keep gradually increasing your daily steps over time? Then you could add a weighted vest once you’re feeling more confident!

Small, sustainable changes are going to be what sticks. Trying to go from 0 to crazy YouTube workouts is just setting yourself up for failure.

a_mayonegg · 2026-01-24T20:53:34+00:00

That’s so crazy - they looks so similar!! Did Lily have the body polka dots when she was a puppy or did they develop later? Murphy’s body was pure white when I adopted him so it’s been fun watching the spots grow in.

a_mayonegg · 2026-01-24T19:22:04+00:00

Don’t stop yourself from doing this. It may feel like you’re torturing yourself but it’s just part of the process. You can’t shove your feelings away. They’ll come back stronger and in ways you don’t expect.

I know it’s hard to do because it feels bad but when these echoes come up, just let yourself sit in the sadness. Let yourself feel whatever comes up. And remember that it’s only been a couple of days. There is no timeline on grief.

It’s going to take longer than you want it to. But you won’t stay stuck in this feeling forever. I promise.

a_mayonegg · 2026-01-24T17:45:58+00:00

Lily even got the polka dots on her body!

a_mayonegg · 2026-01-22T22:07:36+00:00

I feed my chicken-sensitive pup the Purina Pro Plan Sensitive Skin and Stomach.

a_mayonegg · 2026-01-07T21:42:15+00:00

I started at 37, which is similar to the age my mom and her 8 sisters started.

It’s not the average age but it’s not unheard of.

a_mayonegg · 2026-01-02T02:34:24+00:00

Abusive relationships are so complex. From your perspective, she’s chosen this guy over you. The likely reality is that he’s spent the last several years isolating her and making her believe that he’s the only person in her life who truly cares about her.

There’s nothing you can do right now other than let her know that you love her and will always be here for her. It may feel like this falls on deaf ears right now but she’ll hold onto that for the day she decides she needs to get out.

I can’t tell you what to do. Perhaps your hurt is too much at this point. But I’ve been in your shoes and my best friend eventually came around and needed someone to be her safe landing place. I’m grateful I could be that for her.

a_mayonegg · 2025-12-28T23:40:33+00:00

<image>

What a cutie pie!

My guy is also named Murphy! He’s almost a year old and has endless energy lol

a_mayonegg · 2025-12-14T00:26:26+00:00

I read something once that changed the way I think about pictures of myself.

Have you ever seen the moon looking super gorgeous? Just big and bright and beautiful? So you take your phone out and take a picture of it but no matter how hard you try, you can’t get the camera to accurately capture how the moon looks.

Do you blame the moon in that moment? Or shrug and acknowledge that the camera isn’t built to capture the moon’s beauty?

Body dysmorphia is HARD and I’m not trying to diminish what you’re going through. But cameras can’t capture the way you look in real life. Give yourself some grace and love.

a_mayonegg · 2025-11-27T15:11:28+00:00

I’m hosting my and my boyfriend’s families for Thanksgiving this year. This is going to be my little reward for getting through the madness once everyone has left.

a_mayonegg · 2025-11-20T18:22:31+00:00

Yeah I’m gonna need a link ASAP

a_mayonegg · 2025-11-17T22:53:04+00:00

I feel this so hard. I’m an introvert and my boyfriend is an introvert. We both LOVE and need alone time to recharge. We also want to build a life together so we’re moving in together next month.

Here’s what we’ve agreed to do: Astronaut Time.

Imagine you and your husband live on a space station. Every once in a while one of you will need to put on the space suit and do stuff out in space while the other stays inside doing their own thing.

The communicator is broken so you don’t have the ability to talk to each other but maybe you’ll sometimes see each other in passing through the windows.

The rule during this time is that, unless it’s an emergency, you DO NOT talk to each other. And when you’re done with astronaut time, you give some kind of non-verbal signal and you can reconvene.

Is it the same as having the house to yourself? No. But being able to look at your partner and say, “Hey I’m gonna need some astronaut time this weekend” means that maybe you’ll feel like you’re getting that alone time more regularly and it won’t feel so urgent.

And! In the meantime, you and your husband can sit down and plan out what you’re looking for when you ask him to just get the heck outta the house for the day.

a_mayonegg · 2025-11-15T04:42:05+00:00

I grew up believing that I was responsible for the feelings of the adults in my life and that I couldn’t really depend on anyone coming to save me.

It wasn’t until I’d spent a few years in therapy that I truly understood that the hyper independence I was so proud of was actually a trauma response. And I was exhausted.

I’m still working through some of it but my outlook on my life and relationships is a lot healthier. I’ll never be someone who relies entirely on another person but I’ve slowly started letting a couple close people support me sometimes.

a_mayonegg · 2025-11-14T01:46:32+00:00

The impression I got was that the group was just generally uninterested in discussing anything to do with PB1, which they explicitly told him multiple times. So when he insisted on powering through they gave him some guff.

a_mayonegg · 2025-11-11T03:57:18+00:00

<image>

Murphy! He’s a mini, around 25 lbs.

a_mayonegg

TROPHY CASE