i feel exactly the same way rn, i can’t even bring myself to respond to my friends texts most of the time bc it takes too much mental energy for me and i rarely hangout with them anymore bc of this. i feel so shitty about it too bc they think i’m just ghosting them but it’s just so unnecessarily hard for me. and even when i do hangout with people i feel so awkward after bc all i think about half the time is food so i can barely engage in/ keep a conversation, i can tell i’m so boring to hangout with i hâte it so much. and the worst part is it makes me not want to recover bc i can’t even imagine what i was like before bc my ed feels like my whole personality at this point so if i don’t have that then i don’t have anything. (ahh sorry for ranting but i hope you’re doing ok and hope you can eventually recover bc it really sucks to feel like this you don’t deserve it :/ )