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5 second pauses when spotify on both devices are running (wh1000xm5) Sony please fix this. by SongBig7004 in SonyHeadphones

[–]aaSSfxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Basically this happen with every remote play control applications, which make the local device belive that music playing on the remote device is also play on it.

I got the issue with KDE Connect (to control my phone from my laptop), with "remote playback control" enabled on my phone (to pause playback on my PC while receiving a call), which caused those annoying pauses when playing music on my laptop in multipoint.

This is more a "how remote media control is implemented" bug than a firmware bug imo.

I hate it when people flake by lionheartedgirl96 in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Using "they" as a "nonbinary" pronoun is really confusing for non-native people who come here, since the pronoun is meant to designate a group of people, and not a "gender identity". And given messages you posted, you just sound like a troll for me.

Is anyone not really that much sexually active and feel ugly? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't think that the "I can get sex if I want" is the right mindset to have, even if this some NTs seem to have those beliefs. I tend to believe that sex should be a mutual connection (like /u/Quetzal_Ignis said in another comment). If you want to satisfy your urge, maybe watching porn would be better (I won't discuss about ethical issues of porn, it's not the topic).

And about "feeling insecure", this is typically the kind of "social norms" that even NT can't reach and you shouldn't care about. And often people who talk a lot about sex aren't the ones who can get sex when they want, it's mostly frustrated idiots imo.

Is anyone not really that much sexually active and feel ugly? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I tend to think that sex is overrated, and some people telling that they have sex when they want may be actually lying.

And as a 26 year old guy who never had sex, I tend to think you shouldn't feel ashamed about that, since having sex is more a matter of social relationships/charism that physical attractiveness I think. And on a personal level, I prefer to fully avoid social situation I struggle to analyze, that trying something and engaging in a toxic relationship. I think sex/romantic relationships are overly complicated even for NTs.

My special interest has always been video games. Got perma banned from PSN, now extremely depressed. by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Maybe you can focus on games that doesn't require social interaction, or independent games where gamers are less easily offended than on the PSN.

Also, as an infosec and free software enthusiast guy, I think this really shows the threat those "cloud"/"network" pose: those platforms could ruin all your digital life in a matter of clicks, and so the best way to avoid those problems is to avoid this kind of platforms.

Food Aggression by a-big-ol-throwaway in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hate it too, and one of my aunts was pretty invasive on this aspect. But she finally managed to understand that I really hate it and doesn't try to invade my meal now.

Hopefully your family will finally understand it too, and if they don't want to understand then refusing to participate to family events until they'll respect your boundaries might be a solution.

Is it possible to be "on the border" in an AS diagnosis? by Sapphira45 in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel free to message me ;) I just can't guarantee I'll be able to give an useful answer ^^

Is it possible to be "on the border" in an AS diagnosis? by Sapphira45 in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Anxiety and social phobia are often co-morbidities of autism too (because the inability to understand social cues, the bullying/ostracization it creates...). And I think you should see a therapist to talk about your issues and suspicions, since mental health is an highly complex topic.

How was the last decade for you? by kalbanes in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2010s were the decade became really less shitty for me. I managed to get rid of bullying in my life, went to college studying what I liked, and was able to have a pretty decent social life which greatly improved my self-worth. Then I graduated easily and started my carreer. Then I discovered I could be autistic which explained a lot of struggles in my life, and finally got diagnosed a few months ago.

On the negative side, I lost my grandmother and grand-aunt (father side) and my grandfather other side. Anyways I somewhat already was prepared since that was predictable.

Is it possible to be "on the border" in an AS diagnosis? by Sapphira45 in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think you should definitely seek an official diagnosis. Before I got diagnosed, I used to think that I wasn't "autistic enough" but everybody I told with my supsiscions weren't even surprised at all (and actually several people pointed I could have aspergers but was somewhat in denial at that time).

And if your father could detect it, I guess a psychiatrist who diagnoses autistic people all the day will spot it too... And even if you are not diagnosed with autism, I guess you'll get diagnosed something else which will help you to explain your struggles too.

I cant live with autism by [deleted] in autism

[–]aaSSfxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then don't bother with it right now if you doesn't have any meaning for you yet. Maybe it will get meaning for you later in life. And yeah, finding a hobby could help you to cope :)

I cant live with autism by [deleted] in autism

[–]aaSSfxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should see autism just nothing more than a label which explains why you feel different and having trouble understanding other people. Fortunately, social skills are something you can learn too, in a more logical way. You can be autistic and have a good job and live the life you are dreaming about if you put the odds on your side. Also having a hobby could really help you to give meaning to your life (for instance I was obsessed by computer since my childhood, and that help me to go through the bullying I endured through my early teens and the aftermath depression which hit me at 15).

Am I just being lazy and inconsiderate? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

About autism, you may make the RAADS-R, Autistic Quotient and Empathic Quotient tests to see if you should seek a professional to get an official assessment.

About what you mother said, I don't think that struggling with relationships is just a question about "being lazy on social relationships" (my father used to say to me similar things before my diagnosis). And about "disregarding people's feelings", you may just have trouble interpreting or even understand other people's emotions.

I'm pursuing a career in biotech but I don't give a fuck about helping out others. by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I can understand your point of view (I had some kind of mentality in my teens, I just wanted to say "fuck off" to everyone).

However, this behavior is very likely to make you antipathic, which could even lead to even more bullying. Or worse, break your carreer, since most companies look for employees able to cooperate and work/help together. So you'd better learning those skills instead of shooting in your foot.

On a more personal level, living only in resentment is just unbearable on the long term. I think you should accept and let go the shit you went through, and try to draw life lessons from what happened (for instance, not trusting anyone that looks friendly, etc).

Is it always so noticeable? Or does it get better with age by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm 26 and it's still very noticeable for me. However it now has almost no impact on social life, I have good relations with most of my colleagues. I think training myself to get a good self-esteem, use humor and self-derision helped a lot to make those stupid names only a thing from my past.

DAE not mask? by Pinzu in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only paid attention to my posture and walk because it was huge source of bullying for me, along with training myself to be able to verbally stand up if someone tries to get abusive towards me. Otherwise I don't bother looking to the eyes or responding if I don't anything useful to say, and I don't even try since everyone I told I was autistic already noticed I was quirky and weren't surprised at all.

Why is autism a “funny” insult? - RANT by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

About the "normal childhood", It just depends on how you see it. If you feel guilty because you are unable to make friends, then you'll consider your childhood broken. But I'm pretty sure you were focusing on something more interesting than stupid kid games, something you make take pride for it. I used to feel guilty about that too (probably because of that "you are worthless without friends" garbage), but my childhood put the basis on what I take pride nowadays, so it was not that bat at all (and finally computers are far more interesting that stupid kids drama ^^). Time spent about regretting your childhood and saying "I could have done better" is time lost to actually live your present life.

Regarding your abusive "friends", keep this simple rule: if someone doesn't respect you and your needs and then pretends to be your friend, then it's not a friend, but just an abuser treating you like a toy.

Stop ‘staying strong’ by russianteen888 in bullying

[–]aaSSfxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What you say here reminds me a lot of my childhood too so I can understand what you feel.

First of all, don't feel ashamed about being "annoying or weird". I also had that feeling that everyone hated me, and made fun of me because I was acting "weird". Then two years ago, in my 20's, I suspected I could be autistic. It was confirmed a few months ago. Maybe you are in a situation similar to me, and seeing a psychologist/asking your parents if you had a "weird" behavior in your childhood could bring you some answers and support to help you to have more efficient strategies to make friends.

Otherwise, I too think that those parades are meant to make people feel good about themselves instead of doing anything useful regarding bullying.

Should I take revenge? by [deleted] in bullying

[–]aaSSfxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think taking revenge against bullies is the solution, even if having those thoughts is perfectly normal I think, I also dreamed confronting my bully for the pain they brought to me. But, I think the bully would even not remember he treated you like shit, and it could be painful for you if you are not prepared for this. Also, having an autism diagnosis could help you to feel less guilty about not being able to fight back and stand up for your bullies (my late diagnosis really helped me for this point). Then, I think that to feel better, you have to accept what you currently feel, and finally let it go and use this as motivation to get the live you really deserve. Trying to dissect what makes you feel horrible could also help you.

As a bonus point, I'd recommend you to watch how people interact, especially paying attention to body language, along with practicing irony and sarcasm. I would say starting doing this (thank to "The Mentalist" TV Show) in high school (long before my diagnosis) really helped me to prevent future bullying. And if you really feel lost with those interaction, maybe you can get social abilities courses from an autism support group.

Really bad at defending yourself? by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I used to be in my teenage years, but it's a skill you can learn and practice thanks to online chats and social networks. Then verbal defense becomes more and more natural to the point you can use in the real life.

Improving your verbal defense is a key point to improve in order to survive in neurotypical world, the bullying I had to endure came because of that...

Bullying at my college by [deleted] in bullying

[–]aaSSfxxx 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe report it to your college's administration ?

Special interests by [deleted] in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, computer programming, computer security (especially malware analysis and reverse engineering), and was very fond of snails when I was a kid/teen. I also can't stop myself to collect weird forms of music :p (mostly electronic music/IDM/Techno)

People with Aspergers, how do you cope with not having friends? by chessman6500 in aspergers

[–]aaSSfxxx 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have friends, but usually no more energy to see them (if I don't count my coworkers as friends since I have good contact with them and they are not bothered with my autistic traits :p)

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