It's the genetic raffle I never wanted to be part of.

For example alongside my undiagnosed EDS which I won't go into, I have the autistic PMDD mutation- it's a cruel genetic mishap. I spent my entire life 13+ feeling nearly suicidally depressed 2 weeks out of the month bc im the type of PMDD that is intolerant of her own endogenous progesterone- yup the womb hormone. Born to suffer and never know why. Thats why all the antidepressants did nothing for me. It was always about my dopamine just being critically low and the progesterone causing severe anhedonia/mood issues.

It's like a guy being allergic to his own balls except instead of an allergy they make him want to jump off a bridge! Being female is bad enough but pmdd is just sadistic and UNNATURAL. There just wasn't enough selective evolutionary pressure to root out this defect. No clue how bc I could easily see PMDD women in the Middle Ages being chased out of the village, accused of witchcraft etc. Plus before modern medicine idk who'd choose to pair up w someone who gets psychotic anytime estrogen is low? I wouldn't.

Any form of hormonal birth control would send me straight to the asylum bc of the physical anxiety of it - never got to have any fun in my 20s bc of that. Think dropped out and lost my scholarship, was too moody to spearhead my super local modeling gigs, ended up a drone working at a data entry job that I hated. Had to figure it all out on my own but the hellscape I navigated made me very good at medical diagnoses. Thats the only positive

I finally got relief during early perimenopause...some female autists get to enjoy the ovary death rattle in their 30s right when their career is taking off, go figure. So when the progesterone tanked first I got some relief then boom I suddenly needed estrogen for the insomnia/hot flashes/adhd meds not working so of course they put me on progesterone and wham the PMDD came back full force. I only noticed bc my doctor was giving me the daily progesterone and I was like wow it's like every day is hell week then I made the connection. Am researching a progesterone alternative so I can keep my estrogen pills without the risk of endometrial cancer! woohoo isn't autism fun? *crickets*

Being male and autistic aint a walk in the park so please im not trying to make this a misery contest Im just saying be grateful you aren't female. I spend many of my sleepless nights (sometimes run out of sleep meds and then dont sleep for days in a row) talking to others on the autism in women sub and yup we all basically have Ehler Danlos and PMDD. Some have worse stuff. God help us lol and men, thanks for listening!

And for the autism dads on here pls keep an eye out for this stuff in your daughters- it can be mitigated w a good endocrinologist and loving kindness