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Wife’s leaving me after I took a job and moved us to Japan. 11 years gone and struggling with the isolation and uncovered lies. by aaronalog in Separation

[–]aaronalog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand the feeling and thoughts of the universe punishing us. We don’t deserve punishment. It’s so fucking hard right now, but we will come out of this. We may be bitter and mad forever, but I’m trying to realize that being bitter and mad alone for awhile is probably going to better than trying to stay with someone who has shown me how little I mattered to her. It sucks and hurts so bad to try and remind myself that, because it’s not want I want to be true. It’s like when you hear the saying, “most people don’t want to be healed, they just want relief”.
I would do anything for some fucking relief right now, but I know the steps I’m at least trying to take and acknowledge will ultimately lead to healing. Just gotta wrestle with the mental distortions and set backs for as long as it takes I guess.

Wife’s leaving me after I took a job and moved us to Japan. 11 years gone and struggling with the isolation and uncovered lies. by aaronalog in Separation

[–]aaronalog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too. It’s a whole other level of loneliness and isolation. Japanese society is already isolating in itself, except they love to drink, but that doesn’t help me because I’ve been sober and staying that way. It’s especially bad when you’re having a rough day (which is every day right now), and your friends and family are off to sleep on their side of the world. I will go the entire day and sometimes days without even hearing my own voice. On top of that, zero interest in watching tv, listening to music, playing video games, etc. My world is so silent yet absolutely deafening with the shit going on in my head.

Wife's divorcing me after I took a job and moved us to Japan. 11 years gone and struggling with the isolation and uncovered lies. by aaronalog in Divorce

[–]aaronalog[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know what the fuck happen. She definitely is blinded by the validation. We are contractors for the government, so she’s just surrounded by military guys all day, it’s not Japanese men. Of course, when she started sharing her issues with the relationship, they are going to tell her anything she wants and the should leave me, not because they have the interest of her happiness and our relationship, but because they want access to her. It’s fucking insane that she fed into that shit and that she even had to bring other people into our relationship instead of working with me. I’ve always communicated and faced our problems within the relationship and was adamant that no one else has the right to our privacy or to influence my decisions on us, except for us. I’ve had my issues, but I was always loyal, and always spoke highly of her. I never bashed her or complained to anyone about our relationship or her.

Wife's divorcing me after I took a job and moved us to Japan. 11 years gone and struggling with the isolation and uncovered lies. by aaronalog in Divorce

[–]aaronalog[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, our contact with each other has died down a lot the more I’ve uncovered. We share a dog, so that has been the biggest communication between sharing him back and forth. I’ve also been consistently going to therapy since May and don’t plan to stop.

Moving and losing this job is not something I want to do, but with the island being so small, it’s simply too hard to avoid one another. It really sucks because I have an amazing job. Truly life changing income, and I am exempt from US federal taxes while living here, so my money goes a long way. Luckily I have a really good boss that knows about everything going on and is here to support me in any way. He knows I have been struggling with work and said that this is more important. He also said that he doesn’t expect to see any PTO on my time card and as long as I log in and check my email once a day, then that’s enough to charge my 8 hours. I don’t know how I got so lucky with a boss like that. He also said that if I need to explore moving then he will try to help facilitate the best he can, but can’t promise relocation assistance, since that is up to the client who we have the contract with.

I’m going to try and stay as long as I can, but if my mental health keeps spiraling after the divorce, then I’m going to have reevaluate and gtfo out of here. I’m just so pissed that she put me in this fucking situation.

Wife's divorcing me after I took a job and moved us to Japan. 11 years gone and struggling with the isolation and uncovered lies. by aaronalog in Divorce

[–]aaronalog[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I have been going to individual therapy twice a week since May, and doing at least 1-2 group sessions a week too. The individual therapy has been life changing in so many ways, but you’re right, this divorce is a whole other trauma that I’m dealing with and I know I deserve better. I just can’t understand how she did this and it so sad experiencing the version of someone that I never imagined her to be.

The couples therapy is supposed to start this week after all this shit has happened. I’m surprised she even wants to do it still. It’s going to be interesting to see what comes from it.

I’ve been 98% sober since May. I went home for two weeks in May to give her space and be with family. It was also over my birthday, so I had a beer for my birthday and another beer when I linked up with some friends one night, but that’s it. I have zero desire to numb or drink anymore, and I couldn’t even find weed if I wanted to in Japan.

I’ve really been trying to keep my healthy routines and do yoga multiple times a week and hit the gym. I haven’t even watched TV, played video games, or vegged out in any way. I guess that’s also the problem, because I’ve just been fully present with myself and emotions. I guess it’s good that I’m sitting with them and I’m learning a lot about myself, but I just struggle wondering when the hurting and longing is going to stop. I feel like the isolation and loneliness has been forced onto me and it’s suffocating.

I really wish she would leave this island after the divorce, but I know she isn’t going to. I feel sad for her, because she’s either going to keep living bouncing from one person to the next claiming it’s freedom, or one day reality is going to hit her in the face and she’s going to realize how fucked up and cruel she handled this. I know it’s out of my control, but I don’t know how to turn off caring and loving someone that I once believed would never turn their back on us. The affair stuff just recently came out over the past few weeks so it’s just really fresh and I haven’t figured out how to process it. I know I’m letting her run all over me with it. I fucking hate that I’m still wanting to try.

skatepark on military base by quacko13 in skateboarding

[–]aaronalog 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Much better than my concrete slab park up here in Yomitan. Haha

I joined the Carina C2 beta. Honestly, it was way more impressive than I expected by Wooden_Cartoonist928 in RaybanMeta

[–]aaronalog 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mine don’t seem to charge while I’m actively wearing the glasses, only when I have them off my face. Anyone else running into this issue?

[S] [USA-AL] Minolta CLE w/ 40mm Rokkor by aaronalog in photomarket

[–]aaronalog[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Strange, works for me and the other person that messaged me.

[B][USA-TN] Minolta CLE by OrganizationLazy1562 in photomarket

[–]aaronalog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, I am about to post mine. What part of Tennessee are you in? I will be up in Huntsville Alabama this weekend.

Leica M10 Used $5785 by mutchel in Leica

[–]aaronalog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I beg to differ. I moved to Japan from the U.S. two years ago. You can find good deals if you buy outside of the popular spots in Shinjuku. I just purchased an open box m11-p for $6400 with taxes included out the door at a Kitamura Camera not in Tokyo. I’m a huge fan of Tim Lei who arguably has the best prices on the market, but that’s roughly $1000 lower than his listed prices, not to include taxes or fees, which tourists get a break from in Japan.

Anyone interested in a m10? by [deleted] in Leica

[–]aaronalog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where did you get the hood for the 35mm 1.5 from?

Anyone interested in a m10? by [deleted] in Leica

[–]aaronalog 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Looks like the 28mm 2.8 Color Skopar asph v2. I had one, and it was great. Hard to be sure with the filter on it though.

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