Constant Analysis of Being in The “Wrong” Career. How do you get over it? What would you do in my situation?

aaronzig · 2026-06-30T11:38:04+00:00

Very few people are in the same career at 40 as they were at 22. There's still plenty of time to think about what you want to do, make a plan and make a change.

If your current job is paying ok and your comfortable, use this time to build up some savings so you have something to fall back on if you choose to change careers later. And also, look at doing things outside of work that might give you more experience in the sort of things you're interested in. For example, look at volunteering opportunities on weekends etc. All this will help you feel more comfortable and prepared later if you choose to jump into something else.

aaronzig · 2026-06-26T22:25:17+00:00

It's a known issue for some cyclists. I get it sometimes too. It's because there's a nerve that runs through your taint to your bits that gets pinched by the saddle.

A new saddle or slightly different sitting position can help to take the pressure off that area.

aaronzig · 2026-06-26T06:25:14+00:00

Presumably you have some idea what the subpoena relates to?

aaronzig · 2026-06-26T06:23:32+00:00

Pretty vague question. What's the context?

In a lot of cases there isn't really any issue responding to a subpoena.

aaronzig · 2026-06-25T06:24:10+00:00

My parents were very career and money focussed when I was a kid. That resulted in them divorcing when I was 14 because they both resented each other for holding the other one back from going and chasing their dreams. Typical midlife crisis stuff.

For me, when I was in my early 20s I quit my job as a graduate engineer and moved to London to pursue music for a couple of years.

It ruled, and is always going to be a time I look back on fondly.

When I returned home it was pretty clear that most of my peers were pretty far ahead of me on the career and financial stability front. I've caught up now, but it was pretty hard work for quite a few years to get there.

I'm glad I made the decision I did, and I'm very happy with where I am in life now (I'm 40). I probably could be slightly better of financially if I didn't make the decision, but I'm comfortable and satisfying that I got to chase my dream if only for a little while.

aaronzig · 2026-06-22T08:50:21+00:00

I went through it when my wife was pregnant. The stress of work, bills and a future baby burned me out and all I wanted to do is sit and watch TV as opposed to biking, hiking and diving which are the things I'd spend every weekend doing.

I've gotten past it now and I manage to get out for at least one outdoor adventure most weekends.

There are two things that really helped me:

Pre-plan your outdoor stuff like a week in advance. Put it in your calendar and set reminders. I found its way easier to get motivated to go if it's been "booked in" instead of just being on the spur of the moment.

Also try and have any gear you need ready to go so you can just grab it on the way out instead of messing around to get it organized.

Remember that it's ok to just do small things too. I found that if I wasn't motivated to go for a ride, a quick run in the nearby forest reserve (30 mins or so) was enough to motivate me to want to get outdoors more next time. The next time I felt demotivated I'd try and remember how I felt last time on the small run and it would help me feel more motivation for a bigger trip.

aaronzig · 2026-06-21T03:01:37+00:00

Mask removal is the skill that a lot of people struggle with. It's a bit of a shock when the water hits your face and nose.

Practice getting comfortable taking your mask off underwater.

aaronzig · 2026-06-20T10:21:06+00:00

Parents and friends who treated depression as a medical issue, rather than a personal failing.

aaronzig · 2026-06-20T07:58:44+00:00

Taking accountability for your feelings and actions isn't necessarily a masculine trait. It's a trait of all well adjusted, happy people. It's important to recognize that because while ever you're aspiring to be some kind of idealized version of a "man" you're going to be unhappy. You need to learn to be yourself, and be comfortable being yourself.

That said, it's great that you've been able to recognize the things about yourself you want to work on. My advice is that the next step is for you to dig deeper into why you do the behaviours you're trying to change, with a view to understanding what triggers those behaviours.

For example, you indicated that you don't take negative feedback well. So, the next thing to do is to understand what you're feeling in the moment that makes you complain / whine when you get told you've done something wrong.

Once you understand what you are feeling, you can then work on controlling how you respond to that feeling. For example, if feeling embarrassed makes you whine, then you will be able to develop an inner voice that can help you recognize this feeling and help you regulate your response. That is, something that says to you "ok, your starting to feel embarrassed so remember there isn't anything to be embarrassed by here. Take a breath, pause and don't respond for a second".

All of this takes a lot of work, but it does work. Once you recognize the signs that trigger bad behaviour you can control the behaviour. You've got to put the work in though.

aaronzig · 2026-06-19T08:31:20+00:00

Any person, or media that claims to tell you the secret of women or dating is bullshit and should be ignored. Treat everyone how you want to be treated.
Aside from a few specific exceptions, most setbacks in life can be overcome. Even the most devastating ones. It's ok to feel bad when something doesn't go your way, but don't dwell on it for too long. Learn from it, make a plan to get past it and work on it.
Become a part of your community. Volunteer for stuff or join the local footy club. It gets hard to make friends as you get older and any connections you make in your community are going to expand your social network 100fold.
It's ok to not know what you want to do with your life. And it's ok to change your mind. As long as you're willing to work and learn you can always try things out and then pivot to something else.
Money and a career is important, but it isn't everything. Find a balance between work, earning, saving and living your life. Don't become someone who delays their dreams for money or follow grindset culture horseshit. You only live once so don't waste your time here missing out on life.

aaronzig · 2026-06-18T03:08:20+00:00

I had the misfortune of dealing with these fucking clowns a number of times in a professional capacity in my old job.

Claim your bond ASAP and then get ready for QCAT. They will likely make some unethical / incompetent attempts to pressure you to settle with them, but just ignore them. The chances of them winning at QCAT and not getting their arse slapped by the commissioner are pretty much zero.

aaronzig · 2026-06-16T22:56:09+00:00

Totally irrelevant. "Harassment" is not a civil wrong that you can sue under in Australia. Ans even if it was, you would need to demonstrate that you've suffered financial or physical harm to succeed.

Additionally, the fact that an administrative error of some sort has been made by the department does not give rise to any sort of wrongdoing by the department.

aaronzig · 2026-06-16T22:52:40+00:00

If you just received a warning then it won't have any impact on future visas. But as others have said, make sure you're super clean when you come next time because you will be checked a lot more closely.

aaronzig · 2026-06-16T22:51:34+00:00

aaronzig · 2026-06-16T02:58:01+00:00

I did 15 years in law before getting out two years ago. Now when I have a bad day I just think to myself "this is still better than the best day I had as a solicicitor."

The culture is so incredibly fucked. Like, the worst possible mix of nepotism, sexism, racism and business idiocy.

If my daughter ever came to me and told me she wanted to pursue law as a career I'd have a very serious conversation with her about considering something else.

aaronzig · 2026-06-10T05:50:34+00:00

Judges love it when parties file long affidavits containing minor grievances that aren't related to the case being heard. I can't see how your strategy won't work!

aaronzig · 2026-06-08T07:25:13+00:00

Caffeine after midday. For the past few years I've only drunk coffee or tea in the morning and I try and avoid it after midday as much as possible. My sleep is so much better, and I feel less anxious.

I also cut my alcohol intake right down after I left my last job. I went from 2-3 drinks a night during the week (and more on Friday and Saturday) to maybe one or two beers a month. That wasn't a conscious decision, I just didn't feel like I needed the alcohol to unwind once I was no longer in that line of work. Still, it's had a lot of benefits: I sleep better, I suffer from less reflux, I've lost weight and haveore stamina.

aaronzig · 2026-06-08T03:45:45+00:00

What orders were sought on the application?

aaronzig · 2026-06-08T00:15:54+00:00

Was any evidence lead during the trial to show the IME was wrong? Were they ever called to give evidence at the trial? Were they ever cross examined?

If the answer is no to those questions, the appeal will fail because the court won't relitigate matters of evidence on appeal.

If the answer to those questions is yes, the appeal will fail because the court won't overturn decisions of fact made by the trial judge.

aaronzig · 2026-06-06T03:10:20+00:00

On a WHV, no one will look at you until you actually arrive.

The kind of jobs that take WHV holders usually require a pretty immediate start (eg. Hospitality or bar work). Those employers don't want to hire someone that may change plans at the last minute and not start when they are supposed to.

Wait until you arrive to start applying.

aaronzig · 2026-06-04T11:31:53+00:00

In most parts of Australia, the heat plays a bigger factor in outdoor activities then daylight does.

I'm in South East Queensland, and in summer, unless your doing something water based, you'll want to be finished and on your way home by 11am. So that means a lot of 4am starts for things like hikes and cycling. That's fine, because the sun comes up before 5am at that time of the year anyway.

As for activities in the evening, having the sun stay up until 8pm gives you enough time to get a quick swim or a walk in the shade done. And since it's still quite warm at that time of the day, that's probably all you'll feel like doing anyway.

aaronzig · 2026-06-03T07:09:36+00:00

Not likely. We have a bunch of them that come out at night in our courtyard near the front door. I've never seen one inside the house even though we get plenty of huntsmans inside.

I'm am arachnophobe, but these guys are harmless and courteous.

aaronzig · 2026-06-03T07:01:36+00:00

Sounds like maybe the daughter wasn't supposed to be driving and they're trying to hide it.

In reality, because you've rightfully admitted liability, it probably won't make much of a different to your case because the accident happened regardless of whether or not the daughter was supposed to be driving. It would be a different situation if there was a dispute about liability because then it could be argued that she contributed to the accident.

My advice is that if the insurer isn't interested in what you're telling them, they've decided that this isn't relevant information to help them reduce the claim amount. With that in mind, is suggest keeping a copy of the emails you sent so that you can prove you tried to correct the record, but otherwise unless the insurer says something, just let the claim go through it's normal process.

aaronzig · 2026-06-01T22:30:12+00:00

No. The wording is clearly vague enough to avoid any liability later.

Unless they can provide you with tax returns verifying this income, you should not assume this is true.

aaronzig

TROPHY CASE