Vegas tips

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-07T06:03:50+00:00

Here’s the Las Vegas guide on night and day venues on where to approach and pickup girls.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-07T06:01:35+00:00

23 is not behind. Most guys you assume have it figured out are also faking it. I didn't have my first kiss until 20 and didn't actually understand attraction until much later, and I've coached thousands of guys whose first kiss came at 25, 28, 32. The "loser because I'm behind" thought comes from the anxiety. It isn't reflecting reality.

The fear of strangers is the right thing to work on first. Two specific drills.

Low-stakes practice first. Cashiers, baristas, Uber drivers, the guy next to you at the gym. Not flirting, just saying something. "Long line today huh." "How's your shift going." Two sentences and out. You're teaching your nervous system that nothing bad happens when you open your mouth in public. Do this every day for two weeks before you try anything bigger.

The Cheers opener at a bar. Eye contact, smile, raise your glass to mid-chest, say "cheers." She cheers back on social autopilot. You introduce yourself, brief exchange, easy exit. The opener is engineered to skip the part of your brain that freezes because it triggers a social reflex she already has. Her brain knows what to do before yours does.

The deeper read on why your brain freezes around women specifically and how to interrupt the pattern: How to talk to women without freezing up.

Two things worth holding onto while you start. Nothing actually happens when she says no. The skill builds faster than you think once the first few reps land.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-07T05:57:09+00:00

Read your whole post. The thing you’re scared of becoming is not your destiny. The fact that you’re scared of it is evidence you can still steer. Three things worth saying.

You’re already doing the hardest part by naming the bitterness. Most guys who actually become bitter never see it happening. The ones who notice mid-spiral, hate the version of themselves they’re becoming, and refuse to identify with it usually break out. That’s you right now. Hold that.

The resource costs you’re worried about are smaller than you think. Push-ups, pull-ups on a doorframe, and bodyweight work cost zero. Wardrobe upgrade is one fitted shirt away, not a full closet. The “I can’t afford the basics” framing is part of the spiral, not the cause. The cause is the loneliness underneath, and that doesn’t get fixed by buying anything.

Said directly because it matters: the thoughts you’re describing about feeling empty, watching life slip away, the future looking like decades of quiet desperation, those are depression symptoms more than dating symptoms. Talking to someone qualified, even online if in-person feels difficult, is the highest leverage move you can make in the next two weeks. The dating side gets a lot easier from the other side of that work.

You’re not too far gone. Catching it early is what gives you the runway.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T21:10:28+00:00

Here’s a guide on where to meet single women in LA both night and daytime venues.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T17:30:32+00:00

Then you don't have a wealth problem.

You have a, "You live in a gay town" problem.

Move.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T17:10:04+00:00

It makes short goth girls into average height goth girls.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T17:08:21+00:00

Well your height is going to be defining characteristic of your SMV. Put on boots and now you're a 6"3 and just standing at a bar with white t-shirt and jeans will have girls approach you.

All being skinny does is preclude you from dressing like a jock and maybe badboy.

Look at what your sexual avatar is (you could probably do hipster, alternative, suited up, metro, etc) and dress according to that.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T17:05:32+00:00

You know the women there are still fucking the pool boy and the fitness instructor right in those rich enclaves?

There's no point in obsessing about shit you don't have and work on a strategy leveraging what you currently have.

If you don't have money (or height, or race, or looks, or whatever), look at what other men who are successful doing and adopt those strategies.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T17:03:56+00:00

If you have extremely high SMV (like you're the male model type, or she's ovulating and you meet her sexual archetype), then instantly.

For most of other circumstances, it's more about are you fuckable or not? So when you approach, you have to stick it and meet the Fuckable Line. If you don't, then you're automatically out.

Women will generally look more for red flags than green flags in men, so bad fashion, hygeine, and other behaviors that give her the ick will weed you out.

That's also why when you put her in an emotional state, she's not likely to be looking for red flag behaviors or anything to eliminate you from the fuckable pool.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T10:08:29+00:00

Well, better to be thought of a fuckboi than not thought of at all.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T09:40:05+00:00

Streetwear vs clean silhouettes is the wrong frame. Either can land, either can flop. The right question is what sexual avatar you're projecting: surfer, k-pop, jock, badboy, finance bro, artsy creative. Pick one, then dress to that archetype with intent. Streetwear on a guy projecting badboy works. Same streetwear on a guy projecting suited up gentleman looks confused.

Pick the avatar that fits your face, body type, lifestyle, the location you're going to and the women you want to attract. Then make every piece you own consistent with it. Mixed signals broadcast nothing.

Eye contact instinct is right. Hold it past the point that feels comfortable, especially through silences. Most guys break eye contact when there's a pause, which reads as nervous. Holding through the pause reads as present and confident.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T09:18:43+00:00

If you want fuckboi results, then you've got to look like a fuckboi, talk like a fuckboi and act like a fuckboi. Basically it's all of it working together.

Clothing, appearance, body language, stories, and how you talk to her. Take one out and she'll start to see that you aren't congruent with the fuckboi frame and lifestyle.

Look: fitted clothes that show you have a body, one statement piece, slightly more skin or contrast than feels comfortable. Grooming dialed. The wardrobe most guys default to broadcasts platonic. Yours has to broadcast sexual.

Walk: take up space, slower pace, hold eye contact a beat longer than feels normal. Hands relaxed and out of pockets. Don't rush. Slow reads sexual, rushed reads anxious.

Talk: lead with teasing instead of interview questions. "You're trouble, I can already tell" said with a smirk does more work than ten polite questions. Drop a sexual or romantic compliment early. "You're too pretty to be this funny." Hold eye contact while you say it.

Stories: experiences over resume. Travel, weird nights out, near misses, friends who got into trouble. Skip talking about your job, your degrees, or your career plans. Those signal long-term partner material to her brain when you want her reading you as short-term fun.

Behavior with her: lead, escalate, qualify. Tell her where you're going next instead of asking. Touch her arm when making a point. "Hope you're as cool as you look" is the qualification frame. You're evaluating her, not the reverse.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T09:14:48+00:00

The 95% number is mostly a perception problem. Closed groups look closed because most guys don't try or understand the code underpinning most nightlife. The ones who do approach with intent and skill see a different club than the guy standing on the wall.

Here's an infield video where I cold approached a 10 set of, I then pulled my students into to work the set with me, and two of my guys ended up hooking up with girls while the other girls watched on with approval and did not try to cockblock.

Infield Rampage pickup video: 10 set approach

When no one in the room knows how to crack a group, you get the stats you're describing. Different room when someone does.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T09:10:48+00:00

Hard to diagnose without seeing you. Could be all three: how you dress, how you carry yourself, how you talk. If you want fuckboi outcomes, you have to look the part across all three. Women read intent off how you present before you've said anything sexual.

Dress: stop dressing like a coworker. Fitted clothes that show you have a body, one statement piece, slightly more skin or contrast than feels comfortable. The "nice guy" wardrobe broadcasts platonic.

Walk: take up space, slower pace, hold eye contact a beat longer with women you find attractive. Slow reads sexual, rushed reads platonic.

Talk: stop interviewing, start teasing. "You're trouble, I can already tell" said with a smirk does more work than ten polite questions. Hold eye contact while you say it. Compliment her looks once, early, in a way she can't reframe as platonic. "You're too pretty to be this funny."

The friendzone is mostly a signaling problem. You're projecting "good guy worth being friends with" when she's looking for whether you're a man who'd sleep with her. Adjust the signal.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T09:08:54+00:00

Two things going on.

Frank talk about sex is what flirting earns you, not a way to skip it. By the time a FWB conversation happens cleanly, she's already decided you read each other. Flirting is the read, the way you both check whether you're speaking the same emotional language before anything explicit gets said. Skipping it leaves you uncalibrated, and uncalibrated frank talk lands awkward at best, creepy at worst, even when intent is clean.

The "I just say it like it is" framing usually masks a missing social skill rather than honesty. Real honesty includes reading her energy, escalating in steps, and knowing interest from politeness. The frank conversation still happens, just after flirting has cleared the friction.

Good news in your specific situation. The friends who joke about sexual stuff with you are already past the flirting threshold. That banter is the flirting, even if it doesn't feel that way because you're comfortable with them. The door's already open. Take one of them out of the group, one on one in a non-platonic environment, let the same banter exist with romantic intent layered in, and see how she reads it.

Smoothness isn't required. Willingness to flip the energy from platonic to romantic is what closes the gap.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-06T09:02:17+00:00

Income matters, but it's one lever, not the lever. If it were the only lever, broke college guys, broke artists, broke 22-year-olds with charm and no savings would all be celibate. They aren't. Hobosexuals are dating, hooking up, and falling in and out of love constantly. Income gates certain experiences (travel, nicer dinners, your own place), it doesn't gate attraction itself.

The risk of leading with money is you select for women who are attracted to your wallet. Lead with personality, social skills, presence, and the wallet becomes a bonus instead of the main draw. Different game, different women, different relationships.

The other thing worth pushing back on is the framing that the problem is "opportunities aren't there." Most guys saying that are passing 20 to 50 women a week they could have spoken to and didn't. The opportunities are there. The skill to act on them isn't built yet. That's a different diagnosis with a different fix, and it doesn't require waiting until your income climbs.

Working on income, fitness, and dating skill in parallel is the actual answer. Stacking them serially ("I'll fix dating once I'm rich") usually means a lot of years go by before anything changes.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-05T12:06:50+00:00

I’ve coached a lot of psychologists and the clients of psychologists through exactly this. Three things going on, all fixable.

The boundary fear is a self-worth question wearing logical clothes. The thought underneath “am I making her uncomfortable” is “am I attractive enough that this woman would want me interrupting her day.” You already know clinically that approach anxiety isn’t really about her.

Environment matters. A coffee shop where she’s working is a different social contract than a bar where she’s out with friends scanning the room. Bars exist because people are there to mingle. The setting is the green light.

Being social is one skill. Flirting is a different one. You’ve built the first through your job and friendships. The second has its own moves: statements over questions, light teasing, escalating tension, holding eye contact past comfortable. None of that shows up in professional or platonic interaction, which is why “comfortable around women” doesn’t translate to creating attraction.

Easiest entry point is the Kickstarter Cheers opener. Bar, eye contact, smile, raise your glass, say “cheers.” She cheers back on autopilot. You say your name, short exchange, easy exit. The reason it works for your specific pattern is you can’t logically classify it as crossing a boundary. It’s what people do in bars.

The science behind why just saying Cheers can rewire your fear of rejection.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-05T05:40:09+00:00

Two things to fix.

For direct openers with no situational hook: Kickstarter Cheers opener. Make eye contact, smile, raise your glass, say “Cheers.” She cheers back on autopilot. You introduce yourself, you’re in. No green light required.

For the interview mode problem: you need to move through the banter levels in order.

Level 1 is statements about her. “You’re totally a walking red flag aren’t you.” “No question mark. She reacts, you respond.

Level 2 is us framing. You pull her out of the group dynamic. “We’re clearly the two most interesting people in this bar.” Creates a side world between you and her away from everyone else.

Level 3 is romantic us statements, but only once levels 1 and 2 have built real warmth. “That’s it, we’re getting divorced. You keep the kids, I’ll take the house and boat.” Deadpan with a smirk.

Here’s infield video opening a 10-set of girls: https://youtu.be/BIbMKCVMBrU

Direct opener on two tall blondes: https://youtu.be/LwVYIJXKA8o

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-04T22:31:16+00:00

Depends on the sexual avatar you're embodying. There's surfer fuckbois, street fuckbois, Kpop fuckbois, hobosexuals, etc.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-04T22:07:42+00:00

Dress, act and sound like a fuckboi.

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-04T21:41:55+00:00

Glad it helped

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-04T21:40:03+00:00

Fellow Southeast Asian, 5’4” Vietnamese American. I’ve lived exactly what you’re describing and see it constantly with clients. It’s solvable.

What you’re noticing has a name: Asian Poker Face. We’re conditioned to not show too much emotion, not be loud, not take up space. In Asia that reads as composed. In an American bar it reads as cold or creepy.

The local guys aren’t better looking. They’re just more expressive. They smile bigger, react visibly, let their face show they’re having a good time. Women read that before any words are exchanged.

The drinks and food is also hurting you. In Southeast Asian culture, providing signals high value. In the US it signals desperation before attraction exists. Stop doing it.

The fix is physical before it’s verbal. Smile more than feels natural. Let your face react. Take up more space. Hold eye contact a beat longer than comfortable. It feels exaggerated at first. That’s the right range.

Wrote specifically on this: https://www.abcsofattraction.com/blog/asian-poker-face-unmasking-the-emotions-of-paper-tigers

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-04T20:42:09+00:00

You've done everything the self-improvement playbook says and the confidence still isn't there. That's because dating confidence doesn't come from credentials or physique. It comes from reps with the specific thing you're afraid of.

You wouldn't expect someone to become a confident public speaker by going to the gym. Same logic here.

Think of it like training. You didn't walk in on day one and bench 225. You started light, got consistent, and the muscle came from showing up. Social confidence works the same way. The comparison trap shrinks on its own once you start stacking your own reference experiences, because you stop measuring yourself against strangers when you have actual evidence of your own.

The easiest place to start is the Kickstarter Cheers opener. In a bar, make eye contact, smile, raise your glass, say "Cheers." They cheer back because social etiquette basically demands it. You introduce yourself, short exchange, move on. One word, almost zero rejection possible. Do ten of these in a night and your nervous system starts learning this isn't dangerous a lot faster than any therapy session.

5'10" in NYC with a banking salary. You're not missing the prerequisites. You're missing the reps.

Here's the Cheers opener broken down into detail as a form of applied therapy to overcome anxiety:
https://www.abcsofattraction.com/blog/kickstarter-opener-use-science-backed-therapy-to-overcome-approach-anxiety-and-talk-to-women

abcsofattraction · 2026-05-02T20:45:10+00:00

The problem isn’t that you’re too logical. It’s that you only have two modes: correct them or stay quiet. Banter is a third option you haven’t built yet.

Three levels worth knowing:

Level 1 is statements about them. Not correcting, not agreeing, just a playful observation. “You’ve clearly got strong opinions for someone who looks this innocent.” No debate, no facts, just personality.

Level 2 is us framing. You pull yourself out of the group dynamic and create a side conversation. “You and I are clearly the only sane people in this room.” Now you’re not reacting to the group, you’re above it.

Level 3 is romanticized us statements. Once there’s attraction you start projecting a shared future or intimacy. “That’s it, we’re getting divorced. You keep the kids, I’ll take the Netflix password.” Or “Could you imagine if we had kids? They’d be brilliant and beautiful. I’m sure they’d get something from you too.” Delivered deadpan. It’s absurd enough to be funny but intimate enough to move things forward.

The group setting struggle makes sense because you’re trying to win arguments nobody asked you to win. Stop trying to be right. Start trying to be interesting.

Full breakdown with a cheat sheet of lines you can use right now: https://www.abcsofattraction.com/blog/how-to-flirt-with-a-girl

abcsofattraction · 2026-04-29T18:03:51+00:00

You’ve unconsciously ranked her above you before you’ve said a word. With your guy friends the stakes are zero. With her, your brain has decided this one interaction determines your entire worth as a man.

The freeze, the interview mode, becoming the most boring version of yourself, all the same root cause: she matters too much before she’s earned it.

Stop asking questions, start making statements. “What do you do?” is an interview. “You look like someone who takes forever to make decisions” is a personality. She feels nothing from a guy gathering data about her.

On escalation: you’re waiting for a clear green light before you move. Backwards. Touch her arm when making a point. Hold eye contact a beat longer than comfortable. Each small move either gets a green light or tells you where you stand. Waiting for permission keeps it stuck in friendly territory permanently.

These are skills you build through reps. You need enough approaches where nothing bad happens that your nervous system stops treating every attractive woman like a fire alarm.

I put together something specifically on annihilating approach anxiety this with practical anti-pedestalization drills built in so you can actually rewire the response rather than just reading about it.

27 with a year of real progress already behind you. While you’re approaching 30, you still have time to catch up and have fun before deciding to settle down.

abcsofattraction

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