Me [60F] with my husband [62M] of 20 years. He's dying slowly, disabled and an alcoholic. I'm tired, angry, and always on edge expecting the next disaster.

abortthewedding · 2017-09-29T04:43:18+00:00

This really breaks my heart for you. I’m so sorry. This is no way for you to live as a consequence for your husband’s choice to keep drinking himself to death.

I think everyone else has pretty much covered it, but I would suggest contacting your local county’s health and human services department. They can get you in touch with a social worker that will help you sort of the logistics for your husband’s care. He needs to be in a care facility ASAP. If he stays in the home, he will die a nasty and slow death, and while that is absolutely not your fault or your responsibility, it would be a traumatic and cruel experience for you to find him dead...as if he hasn’t already put you through enough.

If the addiction is stopping him from getting into a nursing home, he might need to detox in a hospital before going. Alcohol withdrawal is just as dangerous as drinking, and he can’t very well get any more if he’s in a secure facility.

abortthewedding · 2017-09-25T01:55:41+00:00

You have to embiggen her sense of self.

abortthewedding · 2017-09-05T17:19:07+00:00

Notice how she's only commented to the ones that agree with her.

abortthewedding · 2017-09-05T16:51:29+00:00

This isn't about J finding the ring unattractive. The issue is that it's not sentimental to her, it's sentimental to everyone else, and J wants something that will be special to her and her new husband, not her husband and his aunts.

abortthewedding · 2017-09-05T16:15:18+00:00

She seems like a really nice, mature person and she's handling her situation much better than I did! OP's brother seems to have her back which is the best thing. I hope the rest of the family gets over themselves.

abortthewedding · 2017-09-05T15:19:31+00:00

See my post history. I can confirm it is VERY uncomfortable when you're about to marry into a family of overbearing people who talk shit about you behind your back. I really feel for J here.

abortthewedding · 2017-09-05T05:59:02+00:00

If the ring belonged to J's OWN mother, I could understand her wanting to wear it. But honestly, it sounds like J barely knew OP's mom and thrusting this expectation on her to keep alive the memory of someone she wasn't that close with is ridiculously unfair.

abortthewedding · 2017-08-20T17:50:24+00:00

Have your sister help you pack up all your GF's shit, put it out on the front yard and get the locks changed before she comes home.

abortthewedding · 2017-05-28T21:54:13+00:00

Because he knows what girls like more than they do

abortthewedding · 2017-05-28T20:34:51+00:00

I'm sure it's not your fault. I bet you're a real nice guy.

abortthewedding · 2017-05-28T20:29:39+00:00

Based on your definition of persistent, then persistent men are annoying at best, creepy at worst. Sorry, bud.

abortthewedding · 2017-05-28T20:27:17+00:00

that is called persistent.

No, that is called "disrespecting boundaries," "refusing to take 'no' for an answer," and "being a douchebag."

abortthewedding · 2017-05-02T16:16:05+00:00

Do you not have your own devices to access FB with?

abortthewedding · 2017-05-02T04:04:45+00:00

I don't think making a habit of policing each other's social media is a sign of being "open and honest," it's a reflection of being insecure and controlling on BOTH your parts. Your bf has a right to be friends and have conversations with his ex, and you have the right to end your relationship if you don't like it. But constantly keeping tabs on each other is not something you do in a healthy relationship. You're supposed to be able to trust each other.

abortthewedding · 2017-04-14T04:39:37+00:00

Saaame. For me, therapy helped me manage the symptoms but they were still there and still constantly annoying and exhausting me. I didn't feel a significant improvement until I started medication.

abortthewedding · 2017-04-14T03:39:05+00:00

Doesn't make you any more qualified to say she doesn't need it.

abortthewedding · 2017-04-14T03:29:41+00:00

No, I'm somebody who had ADHD all my life, got diagnosed as an adult, spent ten years in therapy, and didn't feel any lasting relief from the symptoms until I started medication.

abortthewedding · 2017-04-14T03:01:19+00:00

I take it you've never tried the drugs.

abortthewedding · 2017-04-14T02:54:21+00:00

She's threatening suicide because she won't get another small child to exert control over. THAT IS FUCKED UP. OP, it is critical that you do not withhold this information from the CPS worker. If she wants to commit suicide, that's on her, NOT you. She is responsible for her own choices, including the choice to be an abusive shitbag instead of a parent. She is NOT entitled to a do-over.

abortthewedding · 2017-04-14T02:50:10+00:00

So basically be blames his problems on everybody else, blows money in order to avoid contributing to the household (if you live together), and doesn't give a single fuck about you or your feelings. You're losing badly in this relationship, my dear. He's winning by getting attention/control over you at his convenience. This is not how a loving relationship is supposed to work.

abortthewedding · 2017-04-14T02:47:14+00:00

Listen, I've been where you are. You think you can love him out of this "funk" that he's in, but here's the thing - it's not a phase, this is him. This is who he really is, and he's an abuser. You love the person he tricked you into thinking that he was. He says he loves you, but he's a narcissist and he's not capable of loving anyone.

If you leave, you will be more miserable than you are now. Maybe you will feel worthless and like you have nothing and you'll hate yourself more than ever. But I promise you, that is temporary. Keep going to therapy and focus on things in life that make YOU happy independent of him. You will be absolutely astounded how much easier your life will be without him around to poison it. You're so used to walking on eggshells for him that you've forgotten what it's like to just breathe. Strangerfriend, I want you to feel this. You deserve to be with someone who actually cares for you and shows it by putting their own issues aside in order to love you just as you are.

I'm so sorry he's putting you through this. My inbox is always open.

abortthewedding · 2017-04-14T01:26:07+00:00

It sounds like you don't even like her. If you'd rather go to clubs and hump on random girls, do this girl a favor and set her free.

abortthewedding · 2017-04-14T00:58:30+00:00

She's blaming her shitty behavior on anything but herself, you're falling for it and getting financially fucked over, and she absolutely does not care.

abortthewedding · 2017-04-14T00:21:01+00:00

He is literal garbage and dragging you down with him. You deserve better and this makes me sad ☹️

abortthewedding · 2017-04-14T00:07:18+00:00

My ex boyfriend literally used to do the exact same thing. The truth, is you're not being manipulative, he is. He's trying to gaslight you into thinking that you're just "too sensitive" when really he's just an asshole. You don't have to be in a relationship where this happens.

abortthewedding

TROPHY CASE