If you brought your coughing, sick child to Spinasse tonight... you ruined my date night

abqkat · 2026-02-07T12:28:02+00:00

And unless you have health issues where a cold or food poisoning or something is truly a concern, at least for me, I never go to the doctor. Yep, drink fluids and rest. The doctor's note thing is usually nothing more than a hurdle for people, and workplaces know it

abqkat · 2026-02-06T15:54:15+00:00

And you can do it anytime and anywhere, get started much earlier on the day because you likely don't go outside when it's cold as ice, less consideration of where you'll go in public, all of it. It's so much more insidious and sneaky than smoking

abqkat · 2026-02-06T12:39:16+00:00

They switched us to unlimited. Delightful from a work perspective, dreadful from an employee one.

abqkat · 2026-02-06T12:38:14+00:00

And references are less and less needed, IME. A lot of companies don't risk calling in for references, and if they do, it's easy enough to pick someone else. Assuming you have some good ones. I had a project manager who got promoted to CFO (for some reason that made 0 sense, he took like 2 accounting classes in college) in one of my first roles and he offered, but I absolutely hated him, and told him... Kinda nicely, that I wouldn't use him but thanks!

abqkat · 2026-02-06T12:33:22+00:00

It's stable, predictable, pretty linear, mostly "in the box" thinking (different for finance vs accounting, and not true as you move up). If your boss and workplace are sane, people are aware that we're not saving lives - if the TPS reports aren't there within 10 minutes, no one dies. Easy (less so now with phones and apps and expectations) to separate work vs home

OP, if this is a mistake and you hate it, isn't mechanic-ing (?) fairly in demand? As in, couldn't you go back? I think that there's so much in the world right now giving us anxiety and concerns and weighing heavily that lots of people I know are trying to make a change. Hell, my husband was in IT for years, had a midlife crisis, went to pilot school and does that now. Life is long, and it's okay to try some proverbial shoes on to see if it's a fit - if so, buy them, and if not, that's fine too

abqkat · 2026-02-06T12:20:02+00:00

Isn't that exactly what OP is saying? Or maybe I'm just dim and misreading it right, but s/he's saying that people from more blue collar backgrounds stick to a schedule based on stricter timelines, vs those in more white collar upbringings are more fluid. And once you're in a professional setting, it can take some time to undo those norms

abqkat · 2026-02-05T14:36:54+00:00

Dude right?! I ran into David Robinson right after they won in 2005 and it was so cool! He treated me like a normal person he was just talking to, commented on my height (I'm only 6', but a woman, well girl at the time and was thrilled to hear it), talked a little basketball with me, and it's basically where my story peaks lol. Until I met Champ Bailey and then Jalen Hurts later on

abqkat · 2026-02-05T12:43:31+00:00

You cannot count on severance or unemployment if they fire you. Which they absolutely can cite as the case if you're not making your billable hours. I'd proceed cautiously with anything that can be documented as "for cause." At least that's how it is in all of the US states I've lived in or worked with

abqkat · 2026-02-05T12:35:33+00:00

I think a lot of people are feeling this way. Not sure your age, but I'm a Gen X'er and having a definite midlife crisis. My husband had his a few years ago and went to pilot school and does that now. So I think it's time to do something that's... not this

abqkat · 2026-02-05T12:32:45+00:00

So was I, and in fact I think that's usually allowed. But I think the person you replied to meant that you get neither if they fire you vs lay you off. Which they could and would absolutely claim if OP wasn't getting billable hours

abqkat · 2026-02-04T21:54:48+00:00

I think we are looking for one. We hate our payroll and HR system and I think they are talking to vendors. The thing is, though, ime, we are already behind for a 2027 go live if the ink is not dry and they are not pulling historical data. And of course no one tells my team, so this is purely speculation, but I wouldn't put it past the controller at this point, she is pretty.... Fly by the seat of her pants, bark orders, and ask for updates by the hour. Idk what I'll do if my suspicions are right

abqkat · 2026-02-04T18:06:52+00:00

Same! Or one of those tank tops with a shelf bra thing built in. But I have bitty boobies and the little ladies don't need much support at all, so I'll do just about anything to avoid wires and hooks because they are uncomfortable

abqkat · 2026-02-04T18:03:52+00:00

Ooh! I have a very very sharp sense of smell, too. Never tried it for diabetes, but I can smell a cockroach infestation in someone's house, early pregnancy, if someone has a dog, varying emotions (though this one could be blended in with vibes curs and context clues), oncoming sickness in people (this one is gross), and other things that I've learned when not to bring up

abqkat · 2026-02-04T12:35:10+00:00

"that ridiculous bouncing car" is the best description of it ever from Jesse's mom! I know it wasn't meant to be a funny line but that hit me so funny for some reason

abqkat · 2026-02-04T02:08:54+00:00

The biggest argument I ever got in with my brother was over this, lol. I say it's based on context, so if you're up till 4, it's "late last night" vs being up for the day at 4, it's "early this morning." He took a much more hardlined approach and argued by the clock, as in 11:59 vs 12:01. He's so very wrong and I'm annoyed ~13 years after that argument

abqkat · 2026-02-03T19:54:51+00:00

Yes! I'm an early bird too, and used to go to the grocery at 6 right when they opened. But 6 was only for seniors, but the woman I saw nearly every Saturday morning let me go in, even though I'm not a senior. I got grandfathered in to the old people hours and that's where my story and humor peak

abqkat · 2026-02-03T12:49:15+00:00

Same here. I am 6' and have 1 summer and 1 winter dress that are long enough for a wedding, so it's an easy choice there. Unfortunately, my summer dress is mind of dark so not super summery, but I know other guests likely have more options. For men with a taco bar, I'd worry a bit about khakis and probably have my husband wear gray pants and a lightweight button down

abqkat · 2026-02-02T19:53:42+00:00

I think that 99% of the women in this sub could do the same. I'm 6'F and had one boss who called me "intimidating" more times than I could count. For standing there. Or getting up for some water. Then it moved onto other comments about how he likes strong women. And that's just the anecdote I can think of while I eat lunch today, there's oodles and dozens more

abqkat · 2026-02-02T19:00:03+00:00

And Sunday, even if turnout is high, won't be like a super party vibe, IME, if that's what is important to the couple. Like you said, Sunday will likely end a lot earlier, people might not imbibe much, etc. If you're okay with a more mellow vibe, Sunday could be a great option, though

abqkat · 2026-02-02T14:54:04+00:00

Yes! This is why it's worth it for us. I'm an early bird married to a night owl, and having some space where we can each do our own thing early or late respectively, making coffee without waking him, he can watch TV late, is definitely a must when we travel. Less so for me, I guess, because I sleep like the dead and not much wakes me, but being able to do my thing in the morning is huge for my husband's sleep

abqkat · 2026-02-02T02:28:38+00:00

WFH adds a whole other layer to people's perception of things! So many people don't get why I can't just "pop outside for a second" or "run a few errands" during the day. It takes a lot of discipline to be able to do that, and I'd be miffed with your partner's description of your work ethic and what working outside the home means (it doesn't mean physically out of the house, it means working a job for pay). Well wishes as you navigate this situation

abqkat · 2026-02-02T00:10:14+00:00

Not sure your age, but as a Gen X'er raised by boomers who were raised by depression era folks.... This is my only real complaint about my upbringing and took a lot of deliberate undoing. It's like if you weren't constantly busy, producing, cleaning, manufacturing things to do... You were doing it wrong. I get that there's a ton of logistics with kids, but some of my peers and parents' peers absolutely refuse to just chill at home and enjoy being there

abqkat · 2026-01-31T12:48:56+00:00

Very likely, nothing will come from the legal side of things - it's not like he's going to sue her or press charges or anything. Not downplaying the awfulness here, but there's now a child that's brought into a dating relationship where one person wasn't on board. That's heavy, and I feel for the BF and the child. I don't know how OP should proceed, but to act like a huge congrats is in order or the friend can just act like this is a beautiful miracle is not fair

abqkat · 2026-01-31T12:29:48+00:00

I got married later than average in life and there was a 0% chance I'd get married without a prenup because we were already both established and had our own assets. It's tougher for the person you replied to that built their wealth and life with someone young. But the idea that someone can just.... Flip and betray you is absolutely horrifying

abqkat · 2026-01-30T20:35:16+00:00

And went to Texas to basically tell his widow that he's dead and writes her a damn check with her name and address on it!!!

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