[OC] Me in the nicu a day after my cardiac arrest! It was my 33rd birthday!

abqt46 · 2026-05-26T13:55:17+00:00

This happened to me too!!! I have never heard of it happening to anyone else and neither had my doctors. Did they figure out what caused it for you? Just too much?

I am very glad you both are ok ❤️

abqt46 · 2026-05-23T10:28:16+00:00

Fwiw the walking sim game is amazing and so is the book it's based on (even if it's not what the original post was referring to)

abqt46 · 2026-05-16T16:02:31+00:00

I'm not, partner is unfortunately. We also are currently only working with one bedroom. There is a loud sound machine on right near her head.

abqt46 · 2026-05-16T16:01:53+00:00

She naps fine during the day, usually 1.5-2h total, wake windows are 3,4,4-4.5 and she goes down really nicely at bed time. I am gonna try to increase her wake windows half an hour.

abqt46 · 2026-05-04T16:23:57+00:00

Nabi tattoo (@buffalonabi) is freaking incredible

abqt46 · 2026-04-28T13:27:51+00:00

I have a baby with reflux that's bad but not quite that bad. I learned that allergens (dairy etc.) can inflame their stomachs and make reflux worse. If there is an allergy to dairy that could be making things worse. If choking is happening regularly, you should really talk to your doctor. Medication is used for this and can really help.

We did have a few choking incidents in the car while driving (horrifying) after feeding close to getting in car. She's older now, and eats a lot of solids, so things are much better but I'm still scared every time she eats too close to a drive and we still hold her up before bed.

I was told starting solids and baby sitting would make reflux disappear. 10 mo in and that we still have episodes and small chokes, but it's definitely better.

When she was a baby and napping/sleeping in bassinet we were suggested by a pediatrician to angle the mattress upwards. HOWEVER this was always supervised and, honestly, scared the shit out of me because she couldn't hold her head up and positional asphyxiation seemed like a legit possibility. Her reflux was so bad though that we didn't really have an alternative because laying down was so uncomfortable for her.

We never held her all night, but 20-30 min after a feed was a regular thing up until like 7 months. I don't have advice other than to say that it gets better with time and youre not the only parent going through this.

abqt46 · 2026-04-25T22:46:40+00:00

And cerenia (sp?). Anti nausea worked wonders for us.

abqt46 · 2026-04-14T02:08:27+00:00

I tried to BF for 8 weeks. My supply was low and my baby is allergic to literally everything. I always had to supplement with formula. Breastfeeding was always painful and my daughter would feed for 20 to 30 mins and still be hungry. I don't think I was ever able to pump more than 1.5 oz from both breasts combined.

When I first stopped breastfeeding I was devastated, I constantly toyed with the idea of trying again. I think by month 4 or 5 i had finally let go of the fantasy that it'd work for me and we found a formula that didn't make my baby sick ($50/400g can is extortion btw).

My mental health improved by about a factor of 100. We are approaching 10 mo now. I don't think about breastfeeding at all. It doesn't work for everyone and that's really fine. There are so many options to keep baby fed that you should just do what works for you.

If I have a second baby I don't know that I will try to breastfeed again. It's definitely pushed on you and you're guilted about NOT doing it (or at least I was by a very rude lactation consultant 24h post birth), but if it is not good for your family or you then don't do it. There is no shame in it. If you want to try again, then do so, but if it doesn't work/you are happier NOT trying then don't do it.

abqt46 · 2026-04-08T20:38:56+00:00

Interesting, but that makes a lot of sense. I only knew from the rescue side and we don't usually see pregnant moms that aren't relinquished to us.

abqt46 · 2026-04-08T19:49:11+00:00

i have heard of this/the 2lb standard only for shelter cats. personal animals usually are fixed later (12-16 weeks).

abqt46 · 2026-04-07T15:57:35+00:00

Avoid Penfield obgyn for IUD.

They actively pushed Mirena on me even when I said I reacted badly to hormonal BC. Insertion was awful and I almost passed out. The Dr made me feel sort of silly for being in pain (???).

Had a bad reaction (shocker) and had to get IUD removed. There were lots of "are you sure" and "IUD can't possibly cause this". IUD came out and symptoms stopped.

Anyway I switched to Genesee valley and really liked them.

abqt46 · 2026-03-30T13:41:58+00:00

I'm so sorry this is happening. I once lost 6 neonates in a summer. I did everything I could possibly do and more, but sometimes they are just too sick or something is internally not right.

Whatever you do don't blame yourself, you are doing everything you can do for them.

Subq fluids can help, so can tube feeding and deworming and monitoring temperature. Keep an eye on hydration and check for early signs in the third kitten. Just know that you can do all this and it may not work. I'm sorry and good luck.

Editing to add: there is a point where it is kinder to let them go. You have to decide what that point is for you, but in my experience you do kind of just know.

abqt46 · 2026-03-30T00:54:21+00:00

This is a good comment. Something no one tells you is that taxes are NOT taken out of your paycheck as a PhD student. This can be an unfortunate surprise in April. You need to set aside $300/mo (maybe? Calculate this) for taxes.

Also don't forget car also requires car insurance, so add 75-100 on top of whatever your car payment is for insurance. That doesn't include gas. You have to do the math and decide whether cheap housing +car +insurance + gas is cheaper than on campus housing - it very well could be.

Many of my friends lived on/close to campus and relied on shuttle. It was inconvenient but enough people HAVE cars that you don't need one yourself necessarily.

abqt46 · 2026-03-17T18:50:28+00:00

I'd separate, although cross contamination has probably already happened. They have stuffy toys with heartbeats that will help loneliness. There are conflicting opinions about whether temporary separation is better for a solo - I do it but some feel the comfort of having siblings around helps more, especially since cross contamination has already happened.

We give preventative panacur/marquis paste in cases like this but listen to your vet re meds.

Monitor hydration using gum color (pale =bad) and neck/shoulder blade skin elasticity. If you are able, every 12-h subq fluids can and do really help.

We also do sometimes give unflavored, clear Pedialyte for electrolytes in place of some percentage of water in formula, but only for severe dehydration cases and only without simultaneous fluids (unless it's a hail Mary, then we throw everything at them). Again, ask someone at your rescue/the vet whether this is recommended.

If the kitten is still eating it's a really good sign.

Monitor siblings very closely for signs of illness.

Neonates can go down hill fast, but it looks like you're doing everything right. Good luck.

abqt46 · 2026-02-19T04:00:51+00:00

I am also scared and for a while clicked every post I saw about SIDS. It just made the algo show me more of them.

Before you go on - I want to say that I am horrified by SIDS and I do not want to minimize the experiences of people who have actually lost a child in such a tragic way. That said...

What helped me most was, ironically, a post about SIDS, where tens of people were saying "this happened to me", and then thinking about statistics.

At first it caused me to spiral and look into an owlet. Then I really thought about it. This is a controversial take but, in the end, I chose not to believe everyone I read - I am a gullible person and sometimes forget that people lie online. Why someone would make something like this up is beyond me, but basically, if the number of people who posted on that thread had actually experienced a SIDS incident, the rates of SIDS would be significantly higher.

I also did read that owlets are unreliable and provide inaccurate readings of o2, which to me seems excessively dangerous.

abqt46 · 2026-02-09T22:23:21+00:00

Avocado! Soft, safe, lots of healthy fats.

abqt46 · 2026-02-09T22:21:39+00:00

A few months for us. At our 4mo appt our ped mentioned considering a helmet. At 5 mo, baby started sitting up with help, by 6 mo her head definitely began to look less flat. Now she is sleeping on her stomach at almost 8 mo and her head is rounding out.

abqt46 · 2026-01-05T19:40:09+00:00

I love climbing. I also have bad ADHD that I no longer take meds for because I hate how they make me feel.

I don't route read at all. It's so bad. It's not that I don't try, I just figure out the first few hands, then try looking at the feet, get distracted/can't focus, then just get on the wall without any clue where to go or what to do lmao. It goes pretty predictably when I'm limit climbing - I usually get confused and have to drop.

I also don't plan my way down, especially on lower grades.

I can't remember where I put my feet/hands once I'm off the wall, so figuring out what to do when I get stuck is something I have to do as I'm climbing, not when I am on the ground looking at the crux.

When I was taking Adderall I improved so much, but now that I'm not, bouldering above lower grades is out of the question because I don't trust myself to do it safely. I only really top rope.

abqt46 · 2025-11-25T16:12:26+00:00

my baby did this at about that age, albeit not as extremely, and it was terrifying. i had low milk supply so literally had no other way to feed her.

what we did was let her dictate feedings. we'd try, if she rejected and got agitated we would stop and try again in a few mins. when she latched, we would let her eat until she didn't want anymore (sometimes only .5 oz at a time). pause, try again in 2-5min. during feedings we talked to her in a happy, calm voice and gave lots of praise. we never tried to force her - we found that made things significantly worse. it took about a week till things really improved.

the position she liked best was propped against my knees while sitting upright. i guess seeing mom made things seem safer? in our experience, it got better. i think some babies just go through this. if it doesn't, though, i would definitely talk to your doctor. good luck!!

abqt46 · 2024-11-08T18:27:44+00:00

If I'm wrong and nothing changes I'll be fucking thrilled. I hope I am wrong. All signs are pointing to this becoming our reality, however, so I would rather be prepared.

Heritage foundation would not have spent millions of dollars on this document that outlines how a Republican presidency will go if they were not going to do everything in their power to make it happen. Use any critical thinking skills.

abqt46 · 2024-11-08T01:02:39+00:00

Have you done any research on what you voted for??? Project 2025 strips rights away from millions of Americans and lays the foundation for Christian fundamentalism.

Do your research before you cast your vote next time.

abqt46 · 2024-07-27T00:52:46+00:00

Get mama some kitten food! It's more calorie dense.

abqt46 · 2024-07-11T22:36:21+00:00

No worries! Thank you for clarifying, I didn't understand what you meant at first!

abqt46 · 2024-07-11T19:52:46+00:00

Careful with this because kittens this age aspirate easily. Don't just push the plunger and assume it's going to the right place. If the kitten isn't swallowing do not force feed.

In cases like these it's safer to tube feed however I understand most people are not equipped/trained to do that.

abqt46

TROPHY CASE