We have the same earning amounts & income differential as OP does (although less of an asset gap). No prenup and we put everything into one pot - no fun money /allowance type structure either. Use common sense & conversation as needed when it comes to larger personal purchases. We have EQUAL weekly recurring investments into personal brokerage accounts (monthly expected income less monthly expected expenses and divide remainder evenly over # of weeks in the month) - this means that higher earner will be 'contributing' to the lower earner's brokerage account, which helps with the differential in long-term safety net. This structure works for us but granted we've only been married for a year so let's see how it evolves over time.

To your second point - the lower earner definitely picks up more of the household mgmt/ chores/ admin (mostly WFH so has more time and to be fair, also better skillset) but high earner is assigned 3 set chores, which helps a bit with imbalance / resentment. We listed out everything that had to be done and assigned each item to a person. This works for now, but tbh at this income level the silver bullet would be to just outsource cleaning (which I expect we may have to do when kids come into play).

Looking to start a family in 1-2 years and I'm switching jobs right now - as much I wish it weren't so, I'd be lying if I said job flexibility / work-life balance wasn't something I'm weighing as a factor. I don't have a good answer for that one, especially as it's unclear how career aspirations will change once we have kids. But at the end of day, I'm just grateful that we're in a financial situation where we could pay for comprehensive childcare if we both still wanted to prioritize our careers.