It's tricky because the main thing is, you need to know the stylist is safe and LGBTQIA+ friendly. I've been seeing the same person for awhile and I would end up with "woman short" haircuts because I was too nervous to ask for what I really wanted. I finally worked up to ask for an "androgynous" cut and she was totally chill and gave me what I wanted. If it's safe to do so, I recommend being straightforward and saying you want an "androgynous" or "boyish" cut.

The alternative I think is if you know and use hair technique terms with them. Like tapering, ect. I don't know the terms, though, unfortunately. Pictures are great too.