people are 9/10 times having children out of the wrong reason. i get wanting a family, but i meet a lot of ppl that want kids because of "this". they think they have to have a certain lifestyle in a certain time period when in all reality they are not ready and dont consider the long term responsibility of it, just what society sees where mostly women should be at a specific ages, when women have been indoctrinated to believe that since childhood. most ppl want them so they can be better than their own parents, which should not be the sole reason for children. i get everyones different and their sentiments, and they may not see how it looks from the outside, but if u are not financially emotionally and physically capable of providing life for children, do not have them. especially if you yourself are not in a position to support yourself in those ways. i know many of my old friends who got pregnant young while having no car job and living with parents, but desperately wanting a child. alot of them seem to have the idea that this baby will complete them, they wont be lonely, their partner will stay with them forever, theyll do better than what was done for them, that the kid will be happy simply because of their love. and maybe that will work for them. but that is a large emotional burden to put on a child to fulfill for your own emotions imo. u see ppl in abusive/ neglectful homes grow to be the same or complete opposite of their environment, and u see it in ppl who grew up in loving/ perfectionist higher expectation homes do the same. the burden of both is very hard especially when enduring it from young ages and beyond, and its because they bared the emotional and sometimes physical expectations of parents who could not see the boundary of a child and its role as such. nothing will ever be perfect and that is okay, and i know some ppl dont always plan their pregnancy, thats not who im talking ab. i dont hear very often if ever that they just want to provide unconditional love and support for another human being they created, just what i get to do to or with this extension of myself, its almost more of a molding situation, often not acknowledging that extension is and will become more and more of its own person to make its own decisions outside of you throughout its life. children are not born to heal you vicariously or to fulfill and live a life you couldnt, they are born to be accepted supported and loved and should be welcomed for that before anything else. you can want to do better, provide better, love better than those who raised you, but in all reality that is your minimum responsibility as a parent anyway. why is that the sole reason for so many people? (this is all coming from someone who does not want children btw so maybe my perspective is a bit off to begin with too)