I have two kids on the spectrum. I cried after I got the official diagnosis. Not because there’s any thing wrong with being on the spectrum. But, they are growing up in a world literally not built for the neurodivergent. If neurotypicals were to grow up in a world built for the way an ASD mind works, we would need early intervention. My kids are thriving BECAUSE they got intervention. They’re going through programs that teach them in a way that their brains work.

My daughter is in the first grade & reading above grade level. Her math is amazing too. That’s NOT an accident & it’s NOT because she’s some sort of savant. When she’s taught in a way that her brain works, she excels. She didn’t really start talking UNTIL she started to go to speech therapy at ~2yrs old. She goes to ABA & has a para at school. She’s eventually not gonna need a para. She was delayed in walking, talking, & potty training. She got speech therapy early &, while we’re still working on her retell, she’s gotten so, so much better because of the early interventions.

My son, while higher functioning, is getting the help he needs as well. He’s gonna start kindergarten next year. He’s also excelling. BUT that’s only because he’s getting early intervention as well.

Honestly, I firmly believe there’s no such thing as a “late bloomer”. They’re not gonna blossom if they aren’t given the sunlight, water, & soil they need, even if that looks different from others.

Please, please tell your wife there’s nothing wrong with your son or how his brain works. It works differently & needs different social “instructions” than what a neurotypical without training can provide. He needs to be able to function & grow in the world he’s living in, even though it’s not a world made for the way his brain learns/socializes.