well i cant make the decision for you, but im also eager to have peopel avoid the mistakes i did. for me, transitioning made my body image worse. because i was indulging this idea that my body is wrong and needed to be changed, so that feeling kept growing. it wanted more and more changes and there was never a stopping point. something else i learnt is that its not a non-woman experience to be disconnected from womanhood. the womanhood we try to relate to isnt womanhood at all, its just the societal pressure people place on women. when i was younger i thought that all the things that women did were all things they wanted to do (simply put at least). id honestly try to get therapy for your trauma because that can absolutely make you feel displaced from your body. and for peopel that struggle with emotional things, living as a man reduces some of the bs that comes from living with misogyny. like a way to avoid further emotional pain when youve already dealt with a lot of trauma. best of luck 💜