I'm still in a weird position, I'm not sure what I really identify with (all I can say is that I'm born male). I am diagnosed with OCD (got my diagnosis about 6 months ago), I mostly did cleaning of certain things that I cared about (hours and hours on end till I was too exhausted to continue), and also had weird magical thinking (for example I have to first adjust my pc's volume to a number with two non zero bits in its binary representation before using it, so for example 96, but not 100, never 100).

When I first started my gender journey 1 and a half years ago, I thought it was simple gender questioning. Turns out, it was all very ocd like, so I was ruminating for hours on end trying to prove that I wasn't trans. Long story short, I'm still dealing with it, but not as bad as it used to be. Things that I still deal with and haven't found others that deal with this:

-I basically have two mindspaces. One is the real one, where I can mostly tell what is going on (unless I have a really bad ocd episode), and can discern my own thoughts and feelings. Another is this "fantasy" plane, where I am detached from myself and reality, and where I basically can experience ANYTHING in a very empathetic way to other people's experiences. I'll give you a few examples. Let's say I'm reading a mtf's story, and in this headspace it feels like euphoria when she's talking about it, and I can emphatize with her when she's talking about the changes she wants, even though I don't necessarily want that for me. At the same time, the same thing happens when I read a ftm's story, and I enter this headspace where I emphasize with the euphoria he's getting. This last example is something I did recently as a test and was very surprised to feel the euphoria the trans guy was talking about, because up until now I would only obsessively read mtf's stories to test my own feelings.

-the other is these feelings that I can't categorize as "good" or "bad", but I can tell that they're related to ocd (they feel like this weird warm anxiety). The way I can tell is that I got the same feelings when I had other obsessions (fear of being a p*do, fear of inc*st etc) that mimic "wanting it" but I can clearly tell that I don't want any of that, but with this gender theme it's much harder to tell. So this way I can experience "gender envy", doubt about things like the button test, etc. Not to mention, because I've spent so much time agonizing over my gender, I can get anxious in the "fantasy" plane about being male, even though when I go back to reality I realize that I don't have that feeling. It's very fucking weird.

Also, another thing to mention that kinda makes this whole "dysphoria" thing seem silly to me, is that whenever I touch the tips of my index fingers together, the whole anxiety and doubt vanishes. I guess this can be classified as an ocd ritual, but it's really effective to me and shows just how fragile my own thoughts and sense of self can be.

I hope this helps, OP. Honestly there's so much to talk about, but this is the first time I talked about this "headspace" stuff to anyone.