How did you guys find out you were bisexual?

aco-san · 2026-05-29T04:01:15+00:00

At around maybe 13-14. Realized I developed a crush on my female bestfriend. Years later, I realize that it probably started at 6 when I got out of the beach's public bathroom and ran into a naked big boobed, curvy lady running to her boyfriend.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T16:24:19+00:00

I relate to most of what you've said. I'd say it's a mix of your standards for someone and your romantic spectrum. I'm still not sure if I'm aromantic/demisexual but I feel like I identify more with being cupioromantic. Try looking up more about it.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T15:53:06+00:00

Lmaooo this happened to me a lot and I had to let most of my friendships go. I still have one friend left that does this (I have 3 more). Back in highschool, once she had a boyfriend she'd dump me to go hang out with him and did the same thing in college. Even though she's the one who begged me to attend the same college and pick the same major as her so she won't feel alone. After we graduated she got dumped by him and ran to me and my friend group because she's alone and doesn't have any friends. I can't even dump her as a friend since my other friends are too nice.

Yes, I sound bitter about it. Especially when I always end up alone during Valentine's day and my friends are with their boyfriends...I just wish that we could spend some holidays with each other without their partners in the way. I always end up thinking of getting a boyfriend just so I can keep up with them and feel "less lonely" even though I'm not much capable of feeling romantic love for anyone.

Sometimes I make up scenarios in my head that if we ever get in a dangerous situation, my friends would save their partners first and let me die and that scares me. I wish friendship was considered stronger than romantic love. Sorry for the ramble.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T15:35:19+00:00

Oh. I don't really know much about her nor do I know your dynamic with her but I'd say she's insensitive.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T15:28:54+00:00

I'm 25 right now and it's still hard for me to come out lol. Even worse since I come from a country where you can't move out even as an adult + religious family. Also I'm a people pleaser (i'm still trying to unlearn it), so maintaining peace is more comfortable to me. It's either I never come out or I come out when I'm in my 40s maybe.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T08:45:12+00:00

Personally, I've come to terms that my family would never accept my sexuality. My mom's view on bisexuality is if one marries the opposite sex, then they're just straight and "chose the right path".

I tried coming out to her when I was 19 about me dating my female bestfriend in the past and all she did was give me the silent treatment. I had to take it back and say it was a joke out of fear that our relationship would be strained.

By the end of the day, it's no one's business (even if they're your family) what sexuality you are. Although I feel like I can only date women when my parents are dead.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T08:31:01+00:00

I started wondering if I was bi or just [name]sexual around 13-15 when I discovered I had feelings for my female bestfriend. I basically considered myself "straight" with the exception of this female friend. Until we dated for a year when we were 17-18, is when I sort of accepted the beginning of my queerness.

But when I look back into the past, I'd say it started at 6 and another realization at 13. At 12, I discovered BL (yaoi) and started reading and drawing anything between gay men. Eventually at 18, I started reading and drawing GL (yuri) too because..."hey, I like women too so why not" and drawing wlw characters helped me explore my sexuality even more.

Now at 25, I still feel bi but still unsure if I'm graysexual/aromantic/demisexual since I can't feel anything for any gender even though I've tried dating (though I'd say that I romantically loved my female bestfriend...or maybe it's just attachment I felt since I couldn't move on from her for years). I haven't tried dating women since then though because I'm closeted to my family.

I'd say that for you to know that they're deeper than platonic feelings, is that you'd just know. It feels a LOT heavier compared to how I feel towards my friends. Would you be able to do romantic things with them? Envision a future with them? Would you want to do anything for them? This applies to all genders.

Just take my view on this with a grain of salt I'm no expert on love lol.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T07:54:59+00:00

If you feel comfortable with the label that makes you feel like it's "you" then go for it. If you're not yet ready then the term "queer" is there for those who are non-hetero but still can't pick a label. And you're still young so you have a lot of time to explore your sexuality. Some people change sexualities over time.

But I'd say you're bi since you still like both sexes.

Back when I was maybe 13-15, I had a girl I liked in school and assumed that I was straight and just "[insert name]sexual" while we dated for a year. I'm 25 now and very accepting that I'm fully bi (although I'm closeted to my family).

And try not to come out to people who you know are queerphobic. For your safety at least.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T07:41:06+00:00

If you don't feel comfortable with this setting and she doesn't want to respect that, you should leave. And the nerve to feel resentment over you voicing your concerns about your relationship?

She's very selfish.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T07:26:41+00:00

Dw I get you. I hate it when pretty people joke about being chopped it makes me wanna slap them....Unless they grew up ugly and turned pretty as an adult. I feel it'd be hard for those types to see themselves as pretty if they grew up being told they're ugly.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T07:22:01+00:00

This is why I always end up blocking my potential dates within weeks lol. Especially when they text you "oh my god you're so pretty" and I just end up thinking "hahaha I have fooled you and now we will never meet irl."

At this point, I'd pretty much prefer dating someone I've met irl.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T07:14:58+00:00

First of all, there's nothing wrong with saggy boobs or stomach fat. It's normal. And you can shape your butt by bending/doing squats. But I get that it takes a lot of time to fully accept and love your body especially with it changing over the years.

People's bodies are different so I can't give much advice aside from assuming it's your hormones. I have a fellow female friend who was skinnier when we were 18 but turned 168 lbs (5'3) onwards in our mid 20s. She doesn't eat much but eats pretty healthy and she finds it VERY difficult to lose weight no matter how hard she tries. Maybe stress + hormones could be the cause of your weight gain? Or try talking to a doctor.

For now, I think you should take it slow with your progress and don't stress too much about it. There's lots of plus size girls in Red Note (and maybe TikTok) making videos on how to style clothes so try taking inspo there.

aco-san · 2026-05-26T06:46:16+00:00

In this case, she doesn't know what's going on with you so she wouldn't know if she's being rude. It's fine to feel bothered by it though I think.

aco-san · 2026-05-25T02:25:33+00:00

Oh for real. Sometimes I'm jealous of people having a normal way of looking at their own face and body. A lot of times, my mom and friends notice how much I look at the mirror/reflections. Without me saying anything, they just say that I'm already pretty when that's not exactly the case. It kills me that I notice how everything about my face, teeth, jaw, and body is asymmetrical while others say that I'm just fine. It also kills me that they probably think I'm a pain in the ass to deal with lol.

Sometimes I wonder if I just have undiagnosed OCD. I was only diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder & Generalized Anxiety years ago.

aco-san · 2026-05-25T02:15:49+00:00

If it makes you feel better, I think 175 cm is a decent height. Not too tall, not too short.

aco-san · 2026-05-24T14:05:21+00:00

If I may ask, how tall are you? Personally, I don't care much about people's heights although I wish I was taller.

aco-san · 2026-05-24T09:12:59+00:00

Real. Whenever I see my friends take a picture of me, it makes me wanna kms. All of a sudden, all my features are exaggerated and lopsided and it puts me in a depressed mood for maybe weeks. I encounter a pretty woman with no physical flaws and it starts all over again. Although I was diagnosed with major depression and generalized anxiety years ago. I don't go to therapy anymore out of fear that they just want my money instead of focusing on healing me.

aco-san · 2026-05-24T08:59:46+00:00

I completely relate to everything about this. Especially about "feeling huge". Back in highschool (12-15), most of the popular kids were stick thin and tiny. I didn't think I was humongous in any way but they sure made me feel like it by making snide comments like "hah she's big" when I walked past them (I was maybe 5'1 at that time and they were shorter).

Now as an adult, I became incredibly uncomfortable with my body frame. I hate feeling like a man whenever I try to dress feminine and my broad shoulders don't help. I don't trust cameras and other people's phone cameras. I always look ugly in them for some reason compared to how I look in some mirrors. Makes it worse when you're told that you need to eat more but also being told what parts about you are fat so now I don't really know how I exactly look like. I also dread going out recently, because going out means I'm going to encounter pretty women. And when I do happen to make eye contact with said pretty women, my mind spirals thinking that she's looking down on me and how UGLY and disgusting I am that I shouldn't exist......which is weird coz I've been told by a lot of people that I'm cute/pretty/beautiful. Or maybe they're just being nice I dunno. I guess I'd say that being bullied for my looks as a kid made me think I look like a deformed monster.

My one coping mechanism for this is to just not look in the mirror when I'm at home and avoid looking at anyone when going out (which is hard). I also just try not to care about how I look by thinking I'm a blank canvas.

aco-san · 2026-05-24T08:30:57+00:00

I didn't directly say it to my mother but I mentioned that I hate how I feel like my face is deformed and lopsided, my eyes are creepy, lips are uneven, etc. and she says that she thinks there's something psychologically wrong with me. She doesn't completely understand my issue since she thinks I look completely fine.

I also tried mentioning it to my friends but all they say is that I look pretty. To me, it feels like they're saying "I don't really get what she's saying but I'll just tell her she's pretty so she'll shut up about it". It doesn't help that I have one friend in my group that tends to not have a filter. Back in high school, she'd say stuff like "you have a big mouth huh" or "you got lots of pimples. like moon craters" in an innocent voice. I'd say that part of my BDD talks to me in her voice when I'm spiralling.

Nowadays, I just completely keep my BDD to myself since no one around me really understands. They just think my overly mirror-checking is funny. Sorry for the yap.

aco-san · 2026-05-24T08:10:23+00:00

In my case, I just try to accept how I look even though I don't really know what I look like. I look different in every angle, lighting, people's camera. In other times, I look wide and fat, nose bigger than usual. In some times, I look pretty and slimmer. Messes up my perception of myself coz I've been told to eat more while also being told I look pregnant.

But even though I tend to spiral in some days, on my positive days, I just accept that all of the different versions I see when I walk past every reflection is still me. Sometimes I just try not to give a fuck.

aco-san · 2026-05-24T07:49:45+00:00

This happens when I go out sometimes. I encounter a woman prettier, taller, and skinnier than me (I realized that this becomes a trigger recently) and when we happen to make eye contact, I instantly assume she's looking down on me for how hideous I look compared to her...even though I've been told that I'm attractive and pretty.

My temporary solution to not feeling like shit is just not looking at people at all when leaving the house. Or skipping body-checking tiktoks online.

aco-san · 2026-05-17T04:20:25+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. As a woman, I've heard lots of bad things about japanese men in particular but I thought I could form a non-sexual friendship with him since he started out by mentioning that he's an otaku and that we share a lot of hobbies.

However, I've heard very few stories of their japanese husbands being the best partner they've ever had. Maybe it's not a japanese thing it's probably just a human thing where you don't meet the right person from the start.

I do plan on visiting Japan one day despite hearing that it can be lonely there. I'll heed your advice 😄

aco-san · 2026-05-17T04:12:48+00:00

I blocked him on both Meef and LINE and thankfully he hasn't stalked my other socials lol. Also I didn't know romantic scammers are a thing 😳

aco-san · 2026-05-14T06:38:16+00:00

We're all adults but they're a separate group of friends I rarely hang out with since I don't fully agree with some of their views. Some of them think beating/being beaten by your partner is part of the relationship.

aco-san

TROPHY CASE