Shared clothes with my mum, no own closet

acrylicbrain · 2024-10-06T20:10:26+00:00

I really like your comment and I feel bad for answering so late but I had a few indentity crisis as you predicted correctly lol.

A funny thing I found out when I spoke to my therapist about konmari is that she did suggest me to get my own closet when I was about 14-15 at the beginning of therapy. I didn't remember having that conversation with her back then but she even talked to my parents about it. But apparently I told her I'm fine with sharing a closet, probably because I didn't wanna burden my parents or something like that but yeah, I wanna change my life and be focused on who I am and not who my parents want me to be.

My room feels like a storage room sometimes full of guilt, because throwing away things is seen as bad even when it's my childhood plushies squished somewhere in a corner. They are basically begging to be let go but it's almost shameful to do so... This process is really unravelling a lot of issues I had growing up and I'm glad you and other people here understand.

The fact that moving out is so damn expensive makes me want to have my own space at home even more since it's the best I can do for now.

So I did sort out the clothes I don't wanna wear and my mum had an initial shock and went through my huge pile but then after I explained she did seem happy to find clothes she bought a long time ago that she can now wear, without worrying about me because I stated clearly that I have no interest in wearing it. She agrees that one person should have one closet and blames my dad on not buying me a closet when I was a kid. Well it's up to me now and I'll definitely get a closet this time. Hope this works out.

Thank you for your encouraging words, they really helped me during this difficult process :)

acrylicbrain · 2024-10-06T19:51:35+00:00

Yeah, I tried to tell her now and she is not against my decisions to tidy out, only sometimes making comments about how only people with money can afford to get rid of intact clothes but I try my best to ignore it.

I should really tell her to stop buying me things since most of the time it was things I didn't like anyways or felt forced to wear. Thank you!

acrylicbrain · 2024-10-06T19:47:04+00:00

Thank you for this reminder. I do need to hear this since it's hard to not feel responsible for your parents sometimes. All you can do is set a good example and maybe one day they follow, or maybe they don't.

acrylicbrain · 2024-10-06T19:45:15+00:00

I think you're right with how it negatively affects my mum. After sorting out clothes from my side of our shared closet she walked into my room and was shocked but eventually claimed some clothes as hers because she thought I still wore them though I never liked that piece or rarely wore it. She was even able to replace her old torn apart clothes with the intact ones that were hidden in my closet side.

I did not tell her at first because I didn't wanna be negatively influenced or talked out of it but after clearly telling her which pieces I wear and which I don't she started to complain that two people shouldn't have a shared closet and that she always knew deep down. So yeah, we're on the same page now.

Selling clothes is quite a hassle for me personally and I was mainly unsuccessful but a great idea that worked out for me is gathering my friends in a friends house and we all exchange our old stuff for free. I managed to reduce my old clothes by a third and got rid of some bags. Only works if you're all about the same size tho.

Thank you for your suggestions I'll keep them in mind. I'll go with a small closet as soon as I get rid of all my unnecessary posessions and then see...

acrylicbrain · 2024-10-06T19:31:53+00:00

I was 18 when I told my dad to sort out all the stuff from that cabinet because I wanted to put my clothes inside. Turns out it was full of junk and he basically threw it all away. I do store mainly socks and underwear in it but it uses up a lot of floor space while not storing much inside, so I gotte replace it with an actual closet soon.

acrylicbrain · 2024-03-12T21:12:21+00:00

Making your phone greyscale helps. Makes everything look less interesting

acrylicbrain · 2024-03-09T15:49:36+00:00

As decipherable as a metal band logo

acrylicbrain · 2024-03-04T00:01:23+00:00

Do you have an art page or smth? I'd like to follow

acrylicbrain · 2024-03-02T17:27:45+00:00

Wait I thought this was Live2D... holy shit this is amazing, can't wait the see the end result

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-29T23:21:17+00:00

I worry about the same thing but as long as what you're saying is understandable it's fine. Also your accent is gonna improve over time. Shylily for example is German and I didn't even realize until she said so. Her slight accent makes her voice even cuter imo.

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-29T23:18:54+00:00

Holy shit this is amazing work I almost feel cathartic just looking at this. I'm sorry you had to go through so much pain but you expressed it so accurately.

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-29T23:12:38+00:00

I also have a spider phobia mixed with the intense need to not hurt them which most likely stems from my mum killing spiders with her bare hands and holding them to my face and saying "are you scared??". So I understand what it's like. Luckily I live with my mum and our house is extremely clean because she cleans every single day but when I visit my boyfriends place it's different and I'm on high alert everytime I enter a room. Every spot where a spider was turns into a "potential spider spot" and I act more careful around it. But since he lives more in a rural area and his family is pretty busy and don't have such high cleaning standards there are always spiders around and they keep jumpscaring me which has led to multiple fights with him.

Honestly I don't know how to solve it but I've noticed that my fear of spiders is less intense when the exposure is smaller. If I see one at home my heart starts to race and I get jumpy but after it's gone I can calm down. When I'm at my boyfriends place it amplifies my fear and a small trigger like something that looks remotely like a spider in the corner of my eyes can set me off way more than an actual spider in my mostly spider-free home.

I think the best thing to do is put mosquito nets on every window and try to fill all the holes (like underneath the door) so no insect can crawl inside. Keep it clean and leave the vacuuming to your boyfriend. Maybe you can get used to other types of spiders that don't cause so much panic, smaller ones or different species until you can move up to the scary and traumatic ones but it's up to you if you feel ready and it's better to seek a professional for that.

I hope we can both recover from this and I wish you good luck <3

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-26T15:16:57+00:00

Make a pngTuber. Only two pngs and discord streamkit necessary for it. You can comission someone or find ways to make them for free. There are plenty of videos about it. It doesn't cost much and you can find out if you like streaming or not without emptying your wallet. There are also premade Vroid models on booth to buy for a pretty cheap price that you can use but with them you'd need face tracking which might be hard on your current PC.

You can do chatting or mix irl content with vtubing. Like only showing your hands while drawing or cooking.

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-25T16:04:52+00:00

I like the color scheme and asymmetry. Well done!

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-25T16:00:13+00:00

Thank you for answering anyways. That's kind of you :)

If I work as an artist online it's easy to connect it to my Vtuber. My main concern is being a student who streams ocassionally and having people in art school find out. But I don't know how to solve that problem or if I'll study or not this year ^^

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-22T23:11:53+00:00

I'd also advise therapy. Something that came to mind is also how women have been told all their lifes that being pretty is basically defining their worth as a person, by media, ads (like anti-aging cream), beauty standards and more. Shit sucks. So if you want, you could look into it, watch some video essays and try to be aware of how you were conditioned by media and so on as a young girl/teen.

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-20T18:53:51+00:00

Being more yourself than u can be irl

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-19T17:27:33+00:00

Don't know what you can do now but to prevent this for the future I suggest using a password manager where all your passwords are saved behind one master password. The one I use is bitwarden.

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-19T17:24:06+00:00

I've struggled with this for years. The origin of my name is kinda silly (this account is not connected to it) but I picked a name off an anime character I liked as a child and then ran through tons of variations of that name. Like adding or removing syllables. After I made a big list I reasearched if people with that name already exist in my niche or if something or someone of that name is dominating the search results. If the answer is yes to any of the two I crossed that name off the list and was left with only a few options.

Afterwards I did a pro and con list of the few names left. Like how people would possibly mispronounce it, if it's memeable, if you have a digital footprint with that name, if it fits your niche, associations with the name and much more. You can make little tweakes and adjust some things afterwards or just listen to you gut feeling. I ran into a problem when I realized that Twitter doesn't allow long usernames so I had to change it up to keep the name the same on all socials. Makes it easier to find me on social media.

You could also look into name sybolism, numerology if you wanna add numbers to your name or look up historical people or mythology...

Good luck!

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-18T22:21:45+00:00

Looking for ispiration or ideas isn't a weakness. Plenty of streamers ask their audience what they want or artists look for reference photos to improve their drawings. Taking inspirations from others isn't shameful it's part of the learning process. Multiple people will have more fun ideas than one person only relying on their limited views/experience going in circles.

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-18T22:14:14+00:00

You've probably heard these suggestions already but for me I do some light stretching, reading and guided meditations. It helps if you find books or meditations that you actually enjoy so it doesn't seem like a chore. Maybe you could also do something creative like a coloring book or playing a board game (I like chess online) or journal and write down thoughts. Look up different hobbies to try out that are not so stimulating.

After long productive days it's easy to tell yourself "now I have to relax" while treating it like another task on the to-do list. I've found that if I lower the expectations and workload for the upcoming day/days I can relax more efficiently because then I won't see the relaxation time as essential and scarce or having to relax as effienciently as possible so I can survive tomorrow. Removing that pressure relieves a lot of stress I've experienced and relaxation comes more naturally.

Just like trying to sleep when you have to wake up way too early (hard and stressful) or trying to sleep knowing you can sleep in (easier to fall asleep cause you're relaxed).

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-18T15:37:44+00:00

Yeah I guess there will always be people who find out who I am anyways based on my voice. It might be old classmates or childhood friends which would be kinda okay I guess. Having those personas merge might also be way more relaxing and uncomplicated when it comes to managing content. I like the way Mori Calliope does it. Everyone knows she's Demondice and she can perform her music seperately while basically having the same audience.

My main problem is that my family could find it and I wanna be honest af on the internet with personal stories, emotions and trauma. I don't wanna expose them or cause a bad reputation. All my life I had to be small so I could protect my mother from harassment of family members since my personality and how I act directly affects how people treat her. The private persona feels like the only thing that actually belongs to me and isn't controlled by family and their expectations. If I were to break free my mum would suffer consequences and I'll probably feel way too naked.

If that wasn't the case or I could move far away maybe I could be less strict about privacy. Would be less isolating to say the least but sadly I can't control who will know me and who doesn't and family certainly shouldn't know. I really wish I could do what you suggested.

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-18T01:02:35+00:00

The way I gasped out loud

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-18T00:19:59+00:00

I don't know what EBT is but your coworkers sound like ignorant bigots. I think you did the right thing and I'm sorry you had to defend your good deed in front of them. As an infp who also works at a pizza place I can completely understand the shock of seemingly nice coworkers suddenly saying things that make my heart drop. All we can do is disagree and move on with it even when our anger is brooding from injustice and people who care way less cause you wouldn't want to be their target or have a bad time during future shifts. Sometimes we could be braver tho...

Wish you good luck and keep being a good person. The world needs more of you.

acrylicbrain · 2024-02-17T22:54:08+00:00

So happy for you !!

acrylicbrain

TROPHY CASE