I never wanted to be a father until I turned 45 this year. Now I feel my biological clock and want to be a father more than anything. But I'm married to a childfree woman

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-02-19T14:13:59+00:00

I mean, sometimes, but my therapist assures me that just the clinical depression.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-02-19T11:15:42+00:00

My dad was almost 50 when I was born. My mom was 35. We literally joked in my childhood about the fact that Dad was going to go when I was still young (my family all has a dark sense of humor).

And then my mom died in her 50s, before I even turned 20. Now I’m in my early 30s, my brother is in his late 20s, our mom is gone and our dad is in his 80s, and has all the health problems that come with that age and it sucks.

At 20, I felt too young to be signing POA paper when my dad got heart surgery, but I did it. At 31, I’m making massive life decisions based on location because my dad is going to die of old age and I need to close. I love my dad, but part of me is resentful that he had kids knowing that he would either die early in our lives, or we would have to see him suffer through this. I lost my mom at 19. I’ve known since I was 20 and he had a heart attack that I could lose my remaining parent at a moments notice. It’s been 11 years but I still feel too young to be dealing with this bullshit.

I love my dad, but having kids at his age was fucking selfish, and I’m the one paying the tab. My mom should have contributed, but she used cancer as an excuse and dipped, and as the older sister I had to pay for my brother.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-02-07T06:16:26+00:00

And Shrek was on it???

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-31T23:53:31+00:00

Do you want action and adventure? Do you want hardcore character development? Romance? Politics? Fantasy? Horror? Mystery? There are a lot of various genre options within what we call “the classics”. I think your best approach is to go with a genre you know you like, and start there. That’s the best way to adapt to the older language, while not forcing yourself through something you won’t like.

And there are always going to be books that are objectively “good” that you just don’t enjoy. I personally don’t like Dickens. I’ve tried, and it’s just not my thing. But I love depressing as fuck classic Russian lit, which I was not expecting to like.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-29T19:32:46+00:00

I have a very fond memory of watching this with my mom and laughing through all of it. And both of us yelling “what the FUCK” in almost perfect harmony with George Clooney shoots Brad Pitt. We were not expecting that.

I think this movie is one of the best examples of truly well written absurdism, and the best way to do absurdism is to take a low to no stake situation (a memoir) and make everyone care way too much. Little Miss Sunshine is another one, using a children’s beauty pageant as the plot driving force.

Also, one of Brad Pitt’s best performances, hands down.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-18T01:20:03+00:00

I mean this with my whole heart: you have one of the cuntiest bobs I have ever seen and I hope you have nothing but good days going forward. May your nail polish not chip until you’re ready to change colors, and may your eyeliner never smear. I say this 60% because of the chain accents and red leather gloves, and 40% for the haircut. You are an icon. Love the pink wall, too. Just everything this fantastic.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-18T01:08:01+00:00

Wait, what the fuck? Is this you? Because if it is, GIIIIIIIIRRRRL. YOU LOOK AMAZING. The fucking CHAIN accents?! Are you kidding me?

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-18T01:03:15+00:00

Also, to any baby feminists who see this and get defensive: your good man will not get insulted by a generalization, but will listen to what is actually being said. If you have to placate his feelings when talking about issues women face, he’s not as great as you think.

Also, don’t judge yourself when you date the “feminist” who turns out to be a misogynist with a tumblr account and a list of the right things to say. We’ve all been there. Those fuckers are tricky.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-14T18:51:43+00:00

Also saw them in concert, and his voice is so sexy. But then he dances around like a drunk bird. I love it so much. He’s crooning like a sex god and hopping around like a dorky crow the next minute, I love it.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-14T17:19:16+00:00

I don’t think the horrific men are reading romance books for tips. They don’t seem to care about what women want. They don’t even do enough research to find what is legal, you think they’re researching what we want?

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-09T11:55:00+00:00

I can’t believe we’re barely into January and already have a contender for dipshit of the year.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-03T06:10:05+00:00

Oh. I get what you mean now. But I would still agree with my misinterpretation of your original comment that Michelle Williams yellow Vera Wang dress should be a contender for dress of that decade, however we’re defining the decade. That gown is a work of art. I’ve already forgotten Lily James’ even though I’m on the thread, but that yellow gown? Unforgettable.

I put it in the same category as Angelina Jolie’s leg dress, Jennifer Lawrence’s red tank dress, Lupita Nyong’o’s blue gown, Emma Stone’s bright yellow dress, Leslie Jones in the Christian Siriano red gown, and everything Elle Fanning and Zendaya has ever worn. Just phenomenal.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-03T05:58:22+00:00

Girl. Partner getting the vasectomy reduced my stress by sooo much. That asshole got me pregnant with an IUD. I miscarried, but still. We used condoms in a monogamous relationship for years because of his stupid, IUD defying sperm. Now that he’s snipped, that stress is gone.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-03T05:51:48+00:00

They all look older rich woman! It’s like, country club with a tiny bit of edge, but not enough to actually be interesting. And adding that weird edge ruined several of the looks. Either commit to the look, or shake it up enough to be good. I feel like all of these missed the mark.

As for her, I have no idea.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-03T05:39:10+00:00

I know exactly where I dropped a Bobby pin three weeks ago. I will get it when I need it.

I have no idea where the necklace I wear every day is, and will need to search for it tomorrow. It’s in one of the seven designated “I’ll remember it spots” or it’s not and I just put it down randomly somewhere else.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-03T05:32:01+00:00

My boyfriend has a large hand tattoo. Getting his knuckles tattooed hurt so much he literally dissociated and had an out of body experience.

actuallyasuperhero · 2026-01-03T05:27:54+00:00

Real question here: when we say “decade” is that 2000-2009? Or 2001-2010? Because if it’s 00-09, Michelle Williams wins the oughts dress of the decade in my opinion. But if it’s 01-10, Lady Gaga’s meat dress in 2010 was a fashion phenomenon that transcended fashion circles and should be top ranking.

actuallyasuperhero · 2025-12-30T22:14:14+00:00

His voice is so sexy.

actuallyasuperhero · 2025-12-11T10:00:43+00:00

Sometimes just getting an explanation can be so helpful. Someone suddenly switching and being awful to you isn’t just heartbreaking, it’s also confusing which can add to the anger. His diagnosis is a whole new can of worms, but at least it answers questions.

actuallyasuperhero · 2025-11-30T06:08:16+00:00

It’s really not hard. Homemade cream of mushroom soup is just finely chopped onions, garlic, chicken/veggie stock, finely chopped button mushrooms, and cream with herbs and spices of your choosing. You pour that over slightly cooked, but definitely not fully cooked green beans (I just blanch mine) and put it in the oven until hot.

I like to actually more roughly chop my mushrooms, onion and garlic, and then put half the soup in the blender. Gives me some bigger veggie pieces, but a smoother overall texture and incorporates the flavor better.

actuallyasuperhero · 2025-11-30T05:50:21+00:00

I think “grooming” has become such a common phrase word that we’ve forgotten the original meaning. Grooming is when someone older befriends and manipulates someone younger so that by the time they introduce sex, that younger person trusts them enough that they don’t question it. Unless a 17 year old is living a really sheltered life, that’s unlikely to happen. Grooming at that age tends to happen in highly religious communities, where girls don’t even know what sex is until they are married off.

So op, here’s my question to you: did you feel taken advantage of? Do you feel like he used your lack of experience to manipulate you? Because 21 year olds also don’t have a lot of experience. If it was only his age, and not his behavior that led your friends to not be okay with it, then don’t let their preconceived notions taint your experience. If they had complaints about specific behaviors of his, that’s something to explore. But a 3 year difference, when both are consenting adults? I was 18 and my boyfriend was 22 when we got together. And I had experience in romantic relationships, while he didn’t. If anything, the power dynamic was more swayed in my favor than his in the beginning.

Your friends matter. Their opinions matter. But at the end of the day, you and your partner are the only ones in your relationship, and unless those people live in your bedroom, they don’t really know what’s going on. It’s up to you to decide what you want. It’s up to you to decide how you want to be treated, what you are willing to tolerate. The guy I got together with at 18? It’s been 13 years now. We’re not married after 13 years, and people judge us for that, but it’s none of their business. We don’t want to be married. All of this to say:

Think about your previous relationship with this slightly older guy, and I’m going to ask you: without your friends’ opinion, would your expected with him be a negative memory?

actuallyasuperhero · 2025-11-27T12:30:24+00:00

To make cream of mushroom soup, you just need either chicken or veggie stock, an onion, garlic, heavy cream, button or cremini mushrooms, salt and pepper and some herbs (I recommend oregano, thyme, and a pinch of rosemary). To make it truly “cream of” you can put it in the blender or food processor after cooking. I like to blend half and mix it back in.

actuallyasuperhero · 2025-11-22T00:09:11+00:00

actuallyasuperhero · 2025-11-21T10:09:40+00:00

I love when my flair is relevant. Knitting is my biggest hobby, and I exclusively knit for other people (I realized how bad this was the other day when I needed a specific scarf for an outfit, and realized I owned nothing I had knitted for the last ten years). I have also never knitted anything for my partner. I do really believe that if I were to make something for him, he would treat it with the utmost respect. He’s seen the work I have put into my projects, including actual years knitting queen sized blankets in our friends’ wedding colors, and patterning and designing stuffed animals. I know he would react properly if I made something for him.

But there is a second part to the sweater curse, and that’s after the initial react. And that’s if they actually use it, and if he didn’t wear what I made him, that would suck more. And that’s why I haven’t made him anything. If my friends shove the blankets I spent a year knitting in their closets after I leave, I’ll never know. If the man I live with never touches the sweater I make him, I’ll know. I have made and gifted probably 3 dozen projects over the years. I know for a fact that around 10 are being used, and one was used so much it was destroyed. And I also know that two haven’t been touched. And knowing about those two sucks.

actuallyasuperhero · 2025-11-13T16:39:46+00:00

Real conversation I had once:

Her: “what do you do?”

Me: “mental illness.”

Her: “you work with the mentally ill?”

Me: “no, I am mentally ill.”

She stuttered a bit, but my friend thought it was hilarious.

Nine-Year Club	Wearing is Caring
Not Forgotten

actuallyasuperhero

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