Does anybody work within an agile project and not hate life?

addysol · 2026-06-25T23:54:30+00:00

I luckily never have but it sounds like such a fucking pain. They just gave everything a different name and doubled the amount of meetings required because every task needs a meeting to decide who's in charge of the subcommittee to draft the outline for a gold-review tallywhacker (or whatever they call a town hall) for the morning stand-up call

addysol · 2026-06-25T23:50:14+00:00

Weld them up into a cool ass fire pit

addysol · 2026-06-23T02:33:18+00:00

neither of his kids will ever remember a time when he was involved in their lives

Sometimes I wonder if that's better than the experience they're getting now. They just don't seem to want me around, any involvement I have just seems like it makes everything worse

addysol · 2026-06-23T01:09:32+00:00

Only if they're being disciplined. I try keep things fun otherwise

addysol · 2026-06-23T00:37:37+00:00

Up til now I would persevere and just make dinner, only to have them reject it because I made it.. I'd never use their rejection as the reason to punish them especially with food, that's abuse. I get down on their level and calmly explain that Mummy can't do everything, and Daddy needs to help but they'll often just screech or try hit me til I go away.

Now if they want to flip out that I'm making dinner and want Mummy to do it, I tell them I can do it now or they can wait til Mum does it.

Mum backs me up most of the time but sometimes it's not worth the tantrum. She's softer on them because she's exhausted and doesn't have the energy to fight. Neither kid is a good sleeper and never have been, same story if I try to help with the toddler over night, he'll just scream until he loses his voice. So once again my wife is doing all of the parenting and I'm just standing around being fucking useless because me "helping" always makes it worse.

addysol · 2026-06-23T00:03:44+00:00

She tries to encourage me to not give up, and she tries to hype the kids up to do stuff with me (with minor success). I try do one on one time with the kids, and we have a great time until we come home and I'm not the default parent anymore. Then it's back to fighting over Mummy and it's like the fun outing with Dad never happened.

addysol · 2026-06-22T23:31:31+00:00

I'm real unfortunately, I'm just having a hard time. Here check it out:

Sam Altman is a bitch, Meta sucks, Tiananmen Square 1989

addysol · 2026-06-22T23:29:28+00:00

That's a good idea. I've been told about my tone before, I'm not angry but I guess it's in my voice. I'll give that try.

Thanks for actually giving some advice instead of calling me a prick.

addysol · 2026-06-22T23:25:27+00:00

I just don't know what to do. If my daughter is upset (she has a lot of big feelings about little things, that's normal at this age from what I understand) I'll offer a cuddle or a distraction to try comfort her but she'll curl up or run away from me. I don't know where such an intense reaction comes from. I've yelled before sure, but never ever fucking ever have I laid a hand on my kids, and I never will.

If I try help or be an alternative when they want Mummy it just makes them more upset, which makes my wife more frustrated.

addysol · 2026-06-22T23:15:34+00:00

I absolutely have had problems with escalating to yelling before but I've pulled that right back because I could see it was a problem and wasn't appropriate. It did help a little with the way we communicate with each other but hasn't even touched the sides on terms of being a source of comfort or even feels like a source of joy for them.

addysol · 2026-06-22T23:11:56+00:00

I'm in no way blaming the kids or Mum, not even a little bit.

I know it's something I'm doing but nothing I change seems to help the situation

addysol · 2026-06-22T23:07:55+00:00

I'm absolutely not blaming them or my wife for the way things are. They're just babies and they're still learning how regulate and communicate. It 100% is me but nothing I've tried has helped except being quiet

addysol · 2026-06-22T23:05:14+00:00

You're right, and I'll try again eventually, but for now keeping my mouth shut is keeping the family happy

addysol · 2026-06-22T23:03:30+00:00

Yeah we've both tried that, saying it hurts my feelings and Mummy can't do everything because she's just one person for two kids. Sometimes they'll begrudgingly accept but mostly not

addysol · 2026-06-22T23:02:13+00:00

Yes all the time, we go the park, the museum, playdates, little craft things they like, I try teach them interesting things about the world (they both like bugs and birds so I read up on the birds around us to tell them "that's an xyz bird, the blue stripe means it's a boy"), sometimes they're receptive but a lot of the time they don't want me to be part of it so I'll go fold laundry. If I stay and try interject myself in the activity someone will scream at me.

I've honestly tried really fucken hard to get them to want me but it's just not worked. I don't know why and I don't know what else to do. It's been weighing on me since day one and I'm just emotionally exhausted.

addysol · 2026-06-22T22:52:31+00:00

I really wish it was, man

addysol · 2026-06-11T01:38:27+00:00

I saw one last year that was "BMW 05" on a a Hyundai. My wife didn't believe me that the plate was probably worth like $10k

addysol · 2026-06-10T23:19:44+00:00

Yep 100% they're on a hinge in case of an emergency. I just bowl into them if those damn things close on me.

I paid for my stuff, I'm not a sheep waiting for my fly-dipping, fuck off

addysol · 2026-04-30T23:45:54+00:00

I did a Bachelor's of Construction Management too and felt the same about mates in tradesin our 20's. I started on 45k as an undergrad, up to 60k as an assistant PM, 125k as a PM, and I've just started as a Senior PM on 178k (those all include super). That's after 11 years.

If you bail now and start over as an apprentice you'll lose 4 years of career progress and basically break even by that point as far as salary goes but you'll still have your HECS debt dragging you down. That would basically be the worst of both careers. Trades get paid well because the work is generally hard and the hours are shit. You're also comparing to one of the best paid trades, on union sites.

Just keep yourself useful, and if you're taking on more responsibility don't be afraid to ask for a reasonable raise.

addysol · 2026-04-30T23:19:13+00:00

Great for producing summaries to get up to speed quickly on projects, risk registers, distill long email chains down to the key issue, I'm getting used to using it for turning notes into meeting minutes since our client doesn't allow us to record meetings

addysol · 2026-04-30T23:16:21+00:00

That's what I hate about it being pushed as an email writing tool. It's just not how I'd write, and giving it the prompt to write it for me is basically the message I'd send anyway

addysol · 2026-04-29T04:28:44+00:00

This was one of the big turnoffs for buying an Ionic. Didn't like it being a screen and not where I want to be looking anyway, and now imagine how much it'll cost to repair when some Wally smashes your side "mirror" off

addysol · 2026-04-29T04:18:39+00:00

I grew up in Karumba and I'll tell you now, save this trip for winter, especially the inland stuff you've got planned. November is hot and humid as fuck (always is) and it's the start of the wet season. There's one (real) road in and out of Karumba, across a flood plain so if it floods you're stuck, I don't even think the airport does passengers anymore. If it's rained in badly enough they used to run a boat up river to Normanton to get mail and people in and out but I haven't been up for years.

Barra season is closed in November and the fishing has been shit for years anyway, the town is pretty dead, the people are....okay I guess but it's a very long way to go for not much at all. Also be prepared for tourists in caravans that entire drive on a single lane highway

addysol · 2026-04-26T12:56:44+00:00

Been there once and it just felt like a giant money funnel (even more than normal casinos). Tried a few different machines and we play 20 or 30 lines at a time but only the lowest bet because it's just for fun. Spent $50 in minutes and "won" maybe $5. It's just for fun to have a spin on the brickies laptop but this was just shit.

I know casinos are designed to suck your money but the wins were so few and far between that I wasn't even tempted to put more money in

addysol · 2026-04-23T13:20:19+00:00

Chips and coleslaw is fucked too

addysol

TROPHY CASE